Wonderland (Sequal to Keeping It Up For The Cameras)

Chapter 24

There was this awkward atmosphere in the Car we were in. Everyone knew what was about to happen and I think they could sense exactly how sad both me and James were about it. Maybe the others were sad about leaving England for a month, I don't know why because doing headline shows in Australia is pretty much once in a lifetime, I understood why they were going, I wasn't going to blame anyone. That was the worse part I couldn't even blame someone else I just had to blame the situation we were currently in But this deathly silence going on was painful because I was hoping Brad would tease me and distract me from the fact I wanted to not be here and not be in this situation. If it was a year from now everything would be easier because me and James wouldn't have just started our relationship but we hadn't been together a year, we'd barley together a month, it felt like a whole lot more but a month wasn't long at all and it worried me that he could possibly change his mind whilst he was out there and realise I wasn't worth the pain of a near long distance relationship. Maybe it was the fact I've always been one to over analyse and freak myself out that made me this nervous but I couldn't help it really.

I felt James' hand fall on top of mine and I looked over at him but he stared forwards not even being able to look at me for some reason.

"Joe's at the airport already by the way," Connor announced to the four of us. "He says we have to go straight through security when we get there," he sighed looking at me after he read the message off of his phone.

"I thought so," I muttered fidgeting slightly and I felt James squeeze my hand slightly but he still didn't say anything and this long pause fell over all of us.

"So what are you doing whilst we're gone?" Tristan asked me making me let out a small sigh.

"Erm I don't really," I sighed running a hand through the ends of my hair. "I think writing and recording mostly, nothing interesting really." I shrugged.

"Want give us a shout out in one of your songs?" Brad asked smirking slightly.

"How would I do that?" I asked, letting out a small laugh for the first time today.

"I would suggest just by using the line 'I love you like I love Meet The Vamps, you can buy it iTunes," he replied still grinning.

"That's really poetic," I scoffed but did smile faintly.

"That's why we write our own songs," Brad laughed slightly raising a hand to his heart.

"You can write?" I asked mockingly.

"Only for a good year," he sighed making me laugh a tiny bit.

"We're really proud of you for it though," Connor winked at Brad making me smile slightly before I tuned out of the conversation that was now going on. Instead of getting involved in it I just stared straight ahead out of the front window as I felt James turn my hand over so he could actually hold it in his and he traced small circles on my the back of my hand with his thumb in this comforting way.

"Hol we're here," James told me and I snapped out of my haze noticing we were the only two people left in the car, other then the driver.

"Right," I sighed before slipping out of the car after him not letting go of his hand. We had this silence over us as we walked up to the airport. It was this sense of dread that made me not want to talk, really I thought it wouldn't actually happen, that this was some sick joke or a nightmare but evidently it was real, very real actually. "I'm going to miss you," I whispered as we got closer to the airport the two of us trailing behind the others.

"I know," he sighed seeming very stand offish towards me. This paranoia then sunk into my brain, that maybe he was being so weird because he knew that a we'd be apart longer then we'd actually been together and in reality this wouldn't work at all. I hoped that it could work, I was sort of sure it would because it was me and James but maybe I was being way too hopeful. Maybe I needed to be more realistic. Every worry I had could be vanished if James just said I was being stupid but he hadn't said that to me today, I know he'd said it before but more anxiety had set into my mind this morning then there had been yesterday and he knew that.