Wonderland (Sequal to Keeping It Up For The Cameras)

Chapter 2

"Holly Parker," I heard someone shout in a deep voice as I got to the backstage door of the O2 Arena and I spun around recognising the voice even if it was clearly put on.

"Zoe Sugg," I shouted back as she ran closer to me throwing her arms around my neck hugging me tightly.

"Missed you Parker," she whispered not letting go of me but holding me tightly.

"Missed you Sugg," I whispered back hugging her tighter before pulling away and smiling brightly at her.

"I almost didn't recognise you though," she sighed looking me over with her eyes. "Where the hell has your hair gone?" she asked grabbing hold of the ends of my hair which hung just past my collarbone but above my armpit, actually now that I looked at it I suppose it was a fairly dramtic cut considering my hair used to fall around my waist maybe a bit longer but I wanted a change and this seemed logical.

"Cut it," I shrugged simply. "But you know that Zoe," I moved her hand away from my hair and smiled at her again knowing perfectly well that I kept her updated on every part of my life as I was on tour.

"Also your face," she squinted at me again and I let out a sigh.

"Different make up," I laughed a tiny bit at her confused to why she was being so odd. "Look I told you when I changed the slightest bit about me why are you acting so weird?" I asked her smiling still and she had this really weird look on her face still.

"I haven't seen you with the short hair, heavier make up and the style change," she gestured to me and I tilted my head at her smiling faintly because of how consernd she looked. "You're happy right?" she asked.

"Yes mother," I rolled my eyes before turning on my heels and typing in the code, which I'd been texted, to open the backstage door to get into the O2.

"Don't use that tone with me young lady," Zoe scolded me as I walked into the halls and I let out a small laugh because of her pure Zoe-ness.

"I'll use whatever tone I wish to use," I scoffed carrying on walking to try and find where I was meant to go.

"Holly," one of the crew stopped me and I smiled at him. "End of the hall turn right third door your names on the door."

"Fab," I nooded to him and he let out a small laugh shaking his head at me.

"Since when do you make people laugh with one word?" Zoe asked following behind me as I guided her down the halls to find my dressing room.

"That is Ben," I explained looking over my shoulder at her. "He tells me where my dressing room is every morning in the new arena and then I respond with a weird reply, today was fab and that's a little less creative then I usually am but still different." I sighed before stopping at the end of the hall trying to remember exactly if it was left or right.

"Right," Zoe told me and I turned right counting the number of doors till I saw the one with my name on and used my free hand to push open the door and I let out a sigh before placing my guitar case on the floor looking around the room. It was nice, a small sofa, a dressing table, a rack for my clothes, nothing special but it was nice, actually it was familiar.

"Have I been here before?" Zoe asked interupting my thoughts clearly thinking the same thing I was.

"Must have been from when we were in that Spice Girls tribute band," I answered hanging my dress up on the rail.

"I know," she beamed proud of herself and I turned to look at her waiting to hear the answer. "This was your dressing room." she pointed around the room smiling still.

"No Zoe this is my dressing room for the four nights I'm here," I shook my head at her.

"No Holly this was your dressng room on the Red Tour," she squealed jumping up and down in excitment. "Oh my God I can't believe we forgot you've already performed at the O2 when you toured with Taylor Swift." I looked around the room again my mouth open a tiny bit in shock recognising the room again as the room where Zoe and James had convinced me to go on stage again and all the other memories that came with that. "Yeah and that's where I was talking to..." Zoe cut herself off remembering why I would feel uncomfortable with the memories and she just stared at me horrified she hadn't worked it out sooner. "Holly I'm sorry I forgot about..."

"It's fine," I shrugged simply hoping that would be the end to all descussion of James or James related topics.

"Isn't he in London?" she asked and I let out a sigh before shrugging despite knowing very well he was in London. "He is I saw something on instagram, they're doing a show in the Hammersmith or whatever it's called."

"Cool," I sighed taking things out of my bag to try and busy myself.

"Maybe you could go see..." Zoe started to say and I turned to her.

"No," I said bluntly.

"Maybe it could..." she tried again.

"It won't," my voice suddenly sounded firm and cold towards my best friend. "Zoe you don't get it..."

"I do," she shrugged simply. "He hurt you, I don't know how or why but clearly he hurt you I get that. I don't get why you don't try to talk to him because it's obvious you have..."

"You don't know that," I cut her off being quite rude actually. "Zoe you don't know that, you've only seen me again for five minutes how do you know something I don't know?" I asked her.

"Because I know you," she sighed looking a bit hurt. "And I know when you're happy and when you're not."

"It's just..." I started to say about to protest and lie when I was saved by someone telling me I needed to soundcheck for tonight's show.

When I'm on stage I tend to forget any problems I had so with the excitment for tonight made me forget about the threat of James and Zoe asking me about him. Now I felt calm and almost at peace and ready to talk to Zoe about James if she wanted me to and proove that I was totally fine without him or anyother guy. Really I wanted to focus on my career, espcially now I'd written enough songs not just for one album but two and basically my first single ready to go other then the music video so boys were the last thing I wanted on mind, even if they were there.

As soon as I returned to my dressing room I was rushed to get my hair sorted out then make up done before slipping into the dress I'd brought. Zoe just sort of sat there looking at me as I was sorted out and I felt slightly guilty but she was still seeming to have a good time at least.

"Well I'm excited to see you tonight," Zoe smiled as I shut the door once everyone else had left the room.

"I'm glad," I let out a small laugh as I sat down next to her.

"I want to hear your new songs," she grinned brightly nodding over to my guitar and I squinted slightly confused. "I know you've been writing and I want to hear these songs and I know you won't perform them in public but I still want to hear them." I frowned a tiny bit at that, really I wasn't ready for anyone I knew to hear what I'd been writing, it was a big enough step to record them on my week off and performing them to Zoe was going to be really hard and I didn't think I was ready.

"Erm not today," I scratched the back of my neck.

"Why?" she asked frowning a tiny bit at me. "I mean I really would like to hear it." I looked down at my lap for a second then at her. "Is it about..."

"Holly you need to get ready," someone opened my door cutting Zoe off and I smiled thankful for him.