Wonderland (Sequal to Keeping It Up For The Cameras)

Chapter 5

"He said what?!" Zoe asked as I sat crossed legged in the back of a taxi on the way on the way to Manchester city center after recording the music video for wonderland.

"He said that he wants us to pretend it never happened," I sighed staring out the window looking at the bitch black sky.

"What does that even mean?" she asked sounding as confused as I was.

"Your guess is as good as mine," I let out a sigh of defeat.

"Pretend you never happened?" she asked me and I sighed in response letting her know that's what it was. "How can you do that?" she asked me making me chew the bottom of my lip trying to think about what to say.

"Well I'm just guessing but I think it means he cares nothing for me," I sighed feeling pretty tired again and slightly annoyed that I had to wait a day until I could tell Zoe because by the time I got home it was too late to ring her and today I'd been onset since 5 till 10 because we only had today to shoot it before I went straight back to touring. I didn't want that to be true, I didn't want James not to care about me but clearly he didn't, clearly I waited too long and missed my opportunity.

"That can't be true though," she sighed.

"I think it is Zo," I bit my lip not wanting it to be true but knowing it was.

"But you still love him surley he should..." she started to say making me roll my eyes.

"I never said I loved him," I frowned a tiny bit at that.

"You feel something for him though, you're calling me to talk about it so you do," she had a point there and I knew I still cared for him but love seemed too strong a word and I didn't know if I did still love him, hell I hadn't seen him for months until a day ago. It was a completely weird situation that I didn't fully understand. I almost hated myself for calling Zoe and started to regret it as soon as she started to mention "my feelings". It wasn't what I wanted to talk about and Zoe must've known that but still kept on going on about and pestering me with it. The weird things was that despite being a girl I hated the whole emotional side of me, the side that meant I couldn't keep up a wall and be the person I wanted to be.

"Zo I don't know," I ran my hand through my hair. "Like I have feelings but I don't think I'll ever be able to act on them so there's not really too many options."

"What will you do then?" she asked me. "I want you to be happy but your not now so what are you going to do?" she asked and let out a sigh leaning back in my chair.

"Carry on like I have no feelings, if I see him smile but don't talk to him and hope the feelings disappear," I answered blinking blankly.

"Then try and find a guy a year or two later and not spend three months on my sofa crying?" she asked me and I let out a small laugh.

"This is a totally different break up Zoe," I sighed. "Don't worry I won't be crying on your sofa anytime soon." I shook my head slightly.

"Just talk to him Holly I bet he likes you," she started to feel frustrated and I didn't reply to him just sitting awkwardly fidgeting a tiny bit. "Come on you're beautiful and talented and..."

"Zoe stop flirting with me," I muttered into the phone and she laughed at me. "Seriously I'm fine."

"Fine isn't happy," she replied and I gulped in response.

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A/N Okay so this is only a quick update not really a chapter chapter, the next one will be better don't worry. Are you enjoying the 5 chapters then? Don't worry James and Holly or whatever their ship name would be will interact a lot more...