Wonderland (Sequal to Keeping It Up For The Cameras)

Chapter 29

I hated leaving people but what I hated more was people leaving me and when James left that morning it hurt more then it had when he left the UK. Maybe it was the fact I got this taste of what I'd been missing so much and that meant it being taken away from me was harder or maybe I'd just been pretending I was okay before. It was weird, feelings were weird and I didn't like that I had them really. Leaving Australia two days later was worse because it closed the door firmly of actually seeing him until they came back to the UK and God knows how busy I'd be by then.

"So Wednesday there is an after party for..." George started to talk to me as I leaned against the window of the taxi we were in now we were back in the UK. I was pretty much completely drained of energy which was mainly down to the jetlag setting in but also partly down to pure fatigue. I slumped further in my seat my mind starting to wonder slightly. In a little over 2 weeks I wouldn't have to feel so bad. In realty what felt worse was that James was pretty much my social life, I was annoyingly lonely without him because of that. Maybe what James said when we first met I was right, I was actually very much alone, James was my social life in London and without him, Brad, Tristan and Connor I was alone in London. I was just lonely without him, which sounded totally pathetic to me.

"You understand Holly?" George cut my thoughts and I jolted slightly before turning to look at him my face blank. "Were you even listening to me?" he asked letting out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry no I wasn't," I shook my head slowly before fidgeting so I sat upright.

"Holly this is important," he rubbed his temples clearly frustrated.

"I know, I'm sorry I'm just very tired," I muttered trying to defend myself.

"Okay sure," he rolled his eyes at me. "Look I get you're tired, you're upset about leaving your boyfriend still but come on just realise this is about your career. I thought it was always your career before boys right?"

"No George, I'm just really tired," I defended myself and he let out a small sigh clearly not believing me.

"Fine," he gave in giving me this disappointed tone, sort of like he was dad which hurt me slightly. "Just listen this time..." I then had to listen carefully to everything George said making sure I gathered every last detail about the following week. It's not that I didn't care, of course I did, I just really wasn't in the mindset right now, I felt like at any moment I was about to fall asleep or just loose concentration.

"That sounds good," I forced a smile at him and he nodded.

"Okay," he said simply frowning a bit. "You have the rest of the day to sleep Holly," he said softer then before. "Just relax today."

"Thank you," I smiled a bit more genuinely this time.

"Look I know I'm hard on you sometimes but I am helping you, I promise," he sighed looking pure again.

"Thank you," I repeated myself.

"It's fine don't worry," he laughed slightly at me as the taxi came to a halt meaning we were at my apartment. I pushed my door open before slipping out of the car with little but some grace and I waited patiently on the curb as my security guard got retrieved my bag from the boot taking my suitcase out for me. It felt odd being here without any guys with cameras outside my apartment and I was happy to be here in a peaceful environment.

"Here you are Miss," My guard handed me the bag. "Do you need me to take it up to your apartment?" he asked as I took my case in my hand.

"No, no I've got this," I smiled slightly. "Thank you for this trip though, I don't think I would've made it without you," I laughed awkwardly making him crack a tiny smile which I hadn't seen him do once in the few days we'd had together.