If You Only Knew

Chapter 2

10 minutes had passed, and I was still frozen in the bathroom, my knees drawn to my chest, my arms wrapped around them like they could hold me together. The tears refused to stop flowing, each one burning as it fell, and I tried desperately to hide my face in the crook of my arm. The ache in my chest felt like it was getting deeper, gnawing at me with every thought of Louis and Eleanor. How was I going to keep pretending? How long could I continue to hide the truth? The truth that I was in love with him.

A soft knock at the door jolted me out of my spiraling thoughts. "Harry?" Lottie's voice was gentle, like she could already sense what I was going through.

I quickly stood up, wiping my face and splashing water over it, trying to erase the evidence of the mess I'd become. My hands shook as I opened the door, and when I saw Lottie standing there, her eyes soft with concern, I couldn't help the feeling that swelled in my chest.

"Hey, Lottie," I said, my voice barely above a whisper, like I was afraid the words might crumble if I spoke them too loudly.

"Oh, Harry, come here." Lottie pulled me into a tight hug before I even had a chance to respond. I didn't even try to hold it together anymore; the tears broke free again, pouring down my face as I buried my head in her shoulder. I needed this—her presence, her understanding.

"I'm sorry, Haz... my brother is an idiot," she murmured into my hair, her voice steady but full of affection. The words made me pull away from her, my heart skipping a beat in surprise.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my throat tight as I tried to make sense of her words.

"Oh, Haz..." Lottie sighed softly. "I know. It's obvious to everyone that you're in love with him. Well, to everyone but Louis... like I said, he's an idiot."

I felt my gaze drop to the floor, and the weight of her words hit me harder than I expected. My heart ached, a deep, raw ache that I couldn't ignore any longer. "He... he's got a date with Eleanor. I don't know how to feel about it. It hurts so much, Lottie. I just want him to be happy, to find someone who makes him feel the way he deserves to feel. I just... I wish it could have been me."

Her arms tightened around me again, holding me like I was about to shatter. "I'm so sorry, Harry. I really wish she could return these feelings for you, I do."

I nodded, swallowing down the lump in my throat. It was so hard to say these things out loud, but Lottie... Lottie always knew how to make it feel a little less suffocating. "Thank you, Lottie. I really appreciate you. You've been like my little sister since forever, and I don't know what I'd do without you."

Lottie pulled back slightly, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "Hey, I'm only a year younger than you. Not so little, okay?" She nudged me playfully, making me laugh through my tears.

"Right, right. You've gotten all wise on me now," I joked, the words coming out lighter, as if a bit of the heaviness had been lifted just by her being there.

"No, but seriously, thank you," I said again, more earnestly this time, pulling her into another tight hug. "You're like my big sister, Lottie. I'm so lucky to have you."

"You know I'm always here for you, H," she whispered, her voice steady and firm. "You've got me for life."

A small smile tugged at my lips as I pulled away, giving her one last squeeze before letting go. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."

I turned to leave, but just as I reached the door, Louis appeared in the hallway, his expression slightly confused. "Oh, there you are," he said, his voice uncertain, like he wasn't sure whether he should say something or not.