If You Only Knew

Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning tangled in Louis's arms, the warm, familiar weight of him pressing against me. The soft light of the early morning filtered through the curtains, casting a golden hue over the room, and for a moment, everything felt perfectly still, like the world was holding its breath. The alarms hadn't gone off yet—still ten minutes left—and I let myself savor the quiet peace of the moment. Louis's breathing was steady and calm, his chest rising and falling gently beneath me. It was the kind of calm I could drown in, a kind of tranquility I'd never experienced before.

I turned carefully in his arms, the warmth of his body a contrast to the cool sheets, and gazed up at him. I studied the small details—the way his messy brown hair fell across his forehead, soft like feathers, and the way his lips were just slightly parted, as if he had been smiling even in his sleep. He looked so peaceful, so at ease, and I couldn't help but feel a flutter in my chest. Beautiful. No, not just beautiful. He was something more than that—he was everything to me.

I didn't realize how long I had been staring until the shrill sound of the alarm shattered the silence, pulling me out of my thoughts. The sudden noise startled me, making me jump and causing Louis to groggily stir beside me. His eyes fluttered open, squinting against the light.

"Morning, Hazza," he mumbled, his voice rough from sleep but still warm and familiar.

"Good morning, Lou," I responded, a yawn slipping out before I could stop it. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, still not fully awake.

"Awe, is my Hazzabear sleepy?" Louis teased, his voice light and affectionate. He always knew how to make me smile.

I couldn't help but giggle at him. "Yeah, because I had you snoring in my ear all night," I teased back, nudging him playfully with my shoulder.

Louis rolled his eyes, but I could see the smile tugging at his lips, his eyes still heavy with sleep. "Come on, you loosha. We've gotta get ready for school." He sat up, pulling me with him, his hand warm in mine.

We moved through our morning routine, getting ready quickly. I threw together an easy breakfast—eggs and toast, nothing fancy—but enough to fill us up. I made extra for Louis, like I always did, though I knew he'd scarf it down in seconds, just like always. He didn't complain, shoveling the food into his mouth between jokes, making me laugh in return.

After breakfast, we piled into the car, Louis driving, the cool air from the open windows ruffling my hair. I turned the music up as loud as it would go, blasting some random song we both loved. I sang at the top of my lungs, feeling the music vibrate through my chest, a feeling I knew I could never get enough of. The way Louis laughed when he caught me off guard, my voice warbling, made my heart flutter like it always did. There was something about hearing him laugh, that pure sound that was all him, all real. It made everything feel lighter.

When we reached school, the day went by in a blur of classrooms, homework, and hallway chatter. Most of the time, I saw Louis with Eleanor, and each time it stung a little more than the last. It wasn't that I hated her—she was sweet, really. It was just... watching them together felt like watching the world shift away from me, like I was standing on the sidelines, waiting for something that would never come. I kept my distance when they were together, trying my best not to let the hurt show.

The rest of the week passed like that. We'd go to lunch together sometimes, but mostly, Louis was with her. I kept my feelings hidden, pretending it didn't bother me when I would see him smiling at her, laughing with her, his hand on her shoulder in that way I'd always dreamed would be for me. But it wasn't, and the pain was getting harder to ignore.

It's Friday, and I'm standing at my locker, chatting with Niall. "So, Harry, we still on for tonight?"

I swallow the lump that suddenly forms in my throat, trying to keep my voice level. "Oh, um... yeah. It's going to be at my place. Louis can't come anymore." I say it without thinking, my voice betraying none of the hurt I'm feeling, at least I hope it doesn't.