Aboard the Black Swan | P.JM |

Spring Day (Jimin Birthday Special)

Song:범날 (Spring Day)
Album: You Never Walk Alone
Artist: BTS

Six months ago

Jimin POV

It was cold this year. It snowed once too. I have always preferred Spring, but Winter is also beautiful in its own way. I sat on a bench and puffed out a breath. Then I started humming. Everyone said that I have a beautiful voice. And she loves listening to me sing.

I started singing the lyrics to myself. Even though winter is beautiful I still look forward to spring.

It's all winter here
Even in August
My heart is running on time
Alone on the Snow piercer

I puffed out another breath and watched as it came in a cloud of white. I rubbed my hands and placed them on my cold cheeks. I was alone today. Not entirely, but I feel alone. Everyone was at the Main House, staying warm and having talks. I felt a little claustrophobic even in that huge building so I came out for a walk. I miss having company. I miss having someone beside me when I do things I like. Because they like it too. I watched the snow start to fall as I sang.

Snowflakes fall down
And fall apart little by little
I miss you
I miss you
How long do I have to wait
How many nights do I have to pass
To see you?
To meet you?

My singing stopped as I heard footsteps coming my way. Strange. Who would go for a walk in this weather? Besides me. I turned my head and saw a female figure walking towards me with a smile on her face. I greeted her with a smile too. She came and sat beside me.

"When did you return from your trip?" I asked. She shrugged and smiled again.

"Surprise! I arrived a few hours ago. I looked for you in the Main House but Jungkookie said you left, and I thought I might find you here." She said. I smiled again. She did know me very well.

"No need to thank me. I know you felt lonely so here I am!" She said with a full toothed smile and gave me a side hug. I chuckled and hugged her back. Then we both just watched the snow fall. I started humming again, knowing that she loves when I sing this song. And she sang the lyrics.

Pass the end of winter's cold
Until the spring day comes again
Until the flowers bloom again
Please stay, please stay there a little longer

"You should sing more often, Jiminnie. You really have a euphoric voice." She said. I smiled.

"Maybe I will sing whenever you're here. That way maybe it will make you visit more often, and stay longer." I said. She chuckled. But it seemed...sad.

I reached out my hand and entangled her fingers in mine as my rubbed my thumb against the top of her palm. She held on tightly as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"But for now, let's just enjoy this moment."

Two months later

I was furious. And disappointed. But most importantly, I was breaking. I am breaking. Endless tears fell from my eyes as I watched the horror in front of me. I had not expected this at all. None of us had. We all trusted her. I trusted her the most. I even loved her. Now she just stabs my heart.

But the pain got worse. I hate her. But my love for her has not vanished beneath my rage and hatred. My heart still longed for her. I waited until the last minute to see if I would wake up from this nightmare, or if she would come back running into my arms saying it was all part of a plan. But it never happened.

We were about to lose it all. But we had a choice. A terrible choice we could make. We could take one life, or let them take hundreds. It broke me. I can't let this happen. But if I don't, my entire reason to exist will be gone. I had to do it. I watched as the my first love fell in front of me. But I had no more tears. No more Rage. Just emptiness.

I remember the lyrics of the song she loved so much.

Is it you who changed?
Or is it me?
I hate this moment, this time flying by
We've changed, you know?
Like everyone, you know?
Yes, I hate you, you left me
But I never stopped thinking about you, not even a day
I'll miss you, honestly, but I will erase you
Because it hurts less than to blame you

For days I wondered when the pain would disappear. It never did. It is still there. So I decided to pretend none of it happened. I decided to pretend she never existed, and that I never loved her. I cannot erase her but I can forget her.

Present

I hated the idea of having her here. But my one vote would not change anything. She reminded me too much of the familiar pain. It has not yet healed. But a small part of my heart keeps telling me. My foolish heart that fell for that woman keeps telling me, that this girl would be the one to heal me. I do not trust my heart, for the last time it only lead me to pain. So I stand far away, for fear of feeling that pain again. Even if it hurt that girl, who did nothing to deserve this.

My heart keeps singing whenever I see her

Maybe cherries are blossoming
And winter is going to be over
I miss you
I miss you
Wait a little bit, just a few more nights
I'll be there to see you
I'll come for you

Her name is Y/N. It was different. Her name, her looks, her personality. But one thing was the same. They both were never loved. As I walked by her hut, I could have almost sworn that I heard someone sing from inside. Not with their voice, but from their heart. I never had the chance to look into her eyes to find what she was feeling, but my heart kept telling me. And my heart sang along with hers

Pass the end of winter's cold
Until the spring day comes again
Until the flowers bloom again
Please stay, please stay there a little longer.

A/n:
Hey guys! This is the late-ish birthday special for our mochi! This is quite different from the other chapters I wrote, but I thought I would try a new style that would intrigue your minds.
I am currently editing the previous chapters, so it may take some time for the next chapter.
Hope you enjoyed this birthday special! See you soon! <33