REASONS • TAEGYU

12

Taehyun's PoV.

Imaginative. Everything wasn't real, i just made them inside my head. That's the common phrase that doctors and Soobin hyung said to me.

But I can't still accept that fact. Even if that world i created is just a part of my imagination, it still makes me feel complete. It is a world who taught me things while my soul is away from my body. It teach me how to love and get ready for the challenges i will soon be facing. And most importantly, I met Beomgyu, even though our love was a pure tragedy, I will love him, always.

Wind passed into my face as i roll my wheelchair around the hospital park. It's been a month, a month filled with medications and therapies. And to be honest i hate it.

I hate my life in particular, i always question why the hell did my soul came back to this body when everything will be just a mess and terrible for me?.

I live in guilt. Soobin gave up everything for me. I lost 5 years. and I live alone, cause the person i promise my whole life with is no longer here, worst, he never existed.

" Taehyun sshi? " My personal therapist called my attention.  "Why are you riding your wheelchair? you can already walk?"

I place a soft smile and just chuckle lightly "I find it hard to stay still and besides I am a bit lazy."

The therapist just place a silly smile on his face and push my wheelchair back to the hospital.

After hours of examinations and therapies, Soobin finally arrive, visibly exhausted from work

"Hey" I say cheerfully and gladly he smile back at me. "You felt so alive today hmm"

"Be grateful then" I teased and he just chuckled removing his coat from his body.

Suddenly i remember the thing that the doctor had told me earlier, well it is not a bad idea, i just need to try... maybe just maybe. "Hyung..." I ask my brother in a soft voice

" what is it? you're  hungry? " Soobin ask worriedly

" This might be crazy and you'll probably think that I'm getting crazy because I personally think i am, wait am i going crazy— " My tongue got twisted as i nervously address my words.

Soobin raise his brow " Hey hey! Stop, its confusing just go straight to the point, I'll listen"

"The doctors said that I'll be able to discharge by the end of the week." I said smilingly bringing the news.

Soobin quickly pulled me into a tight hug and he begun to draw tears in his eyes. He's such a cry baby hyung.

" Yah, why are you always crying!! " I punch his arm softly to make him get back to his senses. "Just happy.."

If I wasn't that grateful for hyung's sacrifice i wouldn't be able to have the courage to take my therapy, I would rather pick to die. But then again, there's still a tiny voice in the back of my head, saying that i came back here for a purpose, and i think i need to figure it out.

It's time to address the real question " Hyung, about the crazy thing... "I was wondering if you could help me find Beomgyu like in this world.. " I said and Soobin hyung got choke up with his own saliva. " What!? "

" I know he's gone and imaginary, but I just wanted to try... i need to try. Help me please, hyung. " I almost teared while asking him because I'm that desperate, I think he's here, somewhere....

Soobin hyung just sighed and nod, " Okay I'll try my best to search, I'll try to ask my boss for help too. But promise me one thing..."

" And what it is? "

" If ever we find him,  don't do anything that will make things worst, and most importantly, try to be happy again. " Soobin said calmly making me smile genuinely.

" You don't have to worry, I think I'll be very happy hyung. If that's the case, I also want you to be happy too, please do things that will make you free, you don't need to provide me anymore. It's time for you–"

" Don't be guilty and overly thankful about my sacrifices, besides i am used to my job, and I don't think i can do other beside it. I'm fine as long as your fine too. " 

I pulled my brother in a close hug and just rest on his shoulders for a while, I felt very much thankful for him and i can't help it. I'll make sure to repay everything he had done for me.

" Now Stop being clingy, let's now try to find that lost love of yours "