REASONS • TAEGYU

26

"Taehyun, I'm still talking to you where are you going!?"  Soobin raise his voice, angry towards his brother's reckless act last night.

Taehyun arrived early in the morning, welcoming a stern face from his brother. From that moment forward, all that Taehyun heard is much of over protectiveness  and  scoldings.

"I want fresh air, I don't want to argue more about this.... I still stood my part, I need to look after him, don't you get it?" Taehyun said in a steady voice not raising a tone just to make sure that his words are acceptably fine to his brother.

But Soobin's voice speaks otherwise, He's very angry that Taehyun disobey him, and the fact that he make him go wildly worried for his safety.

"What do you mean I don't understand? Taehyun I always support you with that imaginary love of yours, but can just let go for a moment and think about my words concerning on your health!?"

"Right, you know, and you also know that I love him very much that i could also risk everything for him..Hyung stop treating me like I'm a little boy!"

"That's it, that stupid love of yours, that beomgyu—"

"Don't talk about him and on what i felt, you don't understand it hyung, you never been inlove!? so stop. "

The exchange of words cut bruises in their hearts, they never fought like this, maybe they're just clouded by their worries for each other.

Soobin shut his mouth and a tear left on his eyes, "You're right, I don't know what love is.....i guess protecting you all these years wasn't an act of love"

"and now you're bragging it! you know how much thankful i am, but hyung, let me gather all the pieces I missed, all those 5 fucking years.... At least once let me!"

" Also But please just once, choose yourself!!! You promise me taehyun.."

Silence occupied after the heated exchange of words from the two. Taehyun was occupied by his wants and he's not letting go of any chances he had, specially that him and beomgyu are finally taking some pace. However, he is more on contaminated than occupied, he forgot that he promise his brother not to go beyond, that he will not do anything so reckless, in that case, he was a disappointment.

For Soobin, he's just doing his job as a loving brother, after all that they went through, Taehyun is on top of his priorities. Yes, Sometimes he's getting too overpowered, to extent that Taehyun felt that he was guarded 24/7, it's suffocating. He knows that his brother long for freedom and love, and he got no intentions to intrude that. In return, he just wanted Taehyun to grew up maturely, to be responsible enough for himself.

Both of them needs time and space, to rethink of their choices and to increase more level of understanding towards eachother. They both need maturity in different aspects, and also acceptance to make their bond strong again.

"You said it yourself, choose myself. I'll get back in 3 days time, don't worry... I'm just going to cool myself down."

"Taehyun—"

Soobin watch his brother leave his boundaries, and sadness begun to engulf him. Soobin can't help to think and blame himself, who's fault it is? or maybe they really just needed to cool down for a bit.

______________________________________

Freedom. Taehyun was now alone, walking together with the summer breeze. Leaves swayed like they were dancing for him, as well as the birds that most likely look at him to say hello.

When is the last time he go out all by himself? He can't remember, all of his memories was those with Beomgyu, the happy ones, the intimate and the sorrow.

For Taehyun, who experience his one step away from the dead – Life repeats itself, it just loop from happiness to sorrow or back. Not just because he experience it from the imaginative world, but also, he thinks that he's also experiencing it now, again.

What if those dreams of his are the ones meant in this reality he lives on? What if it it a warning?
What if this second time around, he'll lose Beomgyu?

He wouldn't take it. He would die.
His love for Beomgyu is more than could everyone would imagine, that's why he's ready to fight everyone for it, including his brother.

He maybe selfish, immature and impulsive but it's his nature, and he's scared of that feeling again. He's scared of losing someone he truly loved.

Blinded you may say, but Taehyun knows what actually was right. The second he fought with his brother he already know that soobin was just after his safety, he appreciate that but he still needs space. Freedom.

It's not like forever he would be binded with his brother's priority list. He also needs to step on his own feet, choose for himself, and be with the one he love.

Taehyun took a deep breath. He let the wind touch his face, soothe his pain and carried it away.

"I'll never forget my promise hyung, I'd  be just like you've wanted me to. Just give me time, hyung."