Coffee Mess

4 Months

Logan's P.O.V

After we both finish, instead of pulling away, she puts her head on my shoulder and wraps both her arms around me. I hug her too, stroking her hair

"So, now what? Do we just go our separate ways like nothing happened?" she finally asks after a long silence

"We can't act like nothing happened, Sandra. We'll both remember this day forever and u know it"

"That's why I don't want it to end!"

"It will, though. The sun will come up soon, u're gonna have to go to work and I'll have to get back to my hotel to celebrate my sister's birthday...we can't stay like that forever"

"But, what if we can?" she asks and raises her head to look at me

"What do u mean?" I ask confused

"I mean, in about 4 months my contract with the museum ends. That means I will either have to renew it or leave! What if I leave and come to Boston?"

"Sandra-" I try to say, but she cuts me

"No, hear me out! I know it's a lot to ask, but wait for me! Just for 4 months! U can't deny that it seems like we belong together! We spent 6 years with no luck whatsoever in our relationships and suddenly, when we're both at our lowest point in that area, boom! We meet again! And we already know each other, so there are no surprises!"

"Sandra, I'd love for u to come to Boston, but I can't ask u to leave your life here!"

"What life, Logan? I'm all alone! I have only one friend here!"

"Yeah, but your job? I'm sure they'll want to renew your contract!"

"So? There are museums in Boston too! And not only that; I could do so much with my degrees! The sky is the limit! Besides, I don't want to lose u again! U only get one chance with these things, I don't want to waste it!"

"And u're sure u're emotionally available? I mean, u just got out of an engagement A month ago u were planning a wedding!"

"So?"

"So, u need time to process it, to grieve even!"

"I have nothing to process or grieve! All I need is a fresh start with someone worthy!"

"Look, Sandra, I told u I still have some trust issues, ok? How do I know this isn't just your way to get over what happened? How do I know u genuinely want to be with me and u're not just trying to do the right thing? How do I know u won't wake up one day and realize that maybe u were wrong?"

"Don't u trust me?" 

"Honestly? No. Not fully, at least!"

"I know u got hurt pretty bad, but how can u say that to me? I was nothing but honest with u! Always!"

"Well, I was with someone who I thought was sincere for 3 years and look at me now!"

"Logan! It's me! U know I would never hurt u like that!"

"How do I know that, Sandra? It's been 6 fucking years, I barely know u!"

"I haven't changed, Logan! Not to my core! I still have the same values as before! I may have changed in appearance, intellectually and spiritually, but I'm still the same girl u met 8 years ago! Just older and wiser!"

"Well, I'm not the same as 7 years ago! *jumps up* Hell, I'm not even the same as 1 year ago!"

"Obviously..." she says scoffing

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean that the Logan I knew would believe in life giving u a second chance! He'd see that it all came down to us meeting again when we're both better for each other! He'd look into my eyes and understand that all I want is to be with him..." she says with tears in her eyes

"Well, I'm sorry, but all that lead me to be cheated on, so excuse me if I don't believe in all that anymore..."

"It sounds like u lost faith in love..."

"I may have! Or I may need more time to process my trauma..."

"All I can give u is 4 months...u're what's gonna bring me back to America or will keep me here in Florence..."

"I can't have that kind of responsibility on my shoulders!"

"No responsibility...only love! I can give u 4 months to realize if u still believe in love or not...to realize if u believe in us!"

"U can't put a time limit on these things, Sandra..."

"Well, I am! What I feel for u might never go away, but I'm not gonna wait forever...I need to move forward. We both do! So, here u go, 4 months! I don't expect u to resolve your trauma, but I expect u to decide if u want me next to u while u do" she says and walks to the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

After I get dressed, I contemplate whether I should say something or not. As I'm about to open the door and leave, I decide to go back. When I stand outside the bathroom door, I hear the water running, but when I start talking it stops

"For whatever it's worth, I will never forget these few hours I spent with u! Even for a little while, u made me escape reality and see that life isn't so bad after all...not when u're with people u love! And I've loved u so much for so long, Sandra. And u letting me know that u actually had feelings for me too, lifted a big weight off of my chest. So, if this is our goodbye, I want u to know that I will look back at our memories with love and a smile on my face, but also with a sharp pain in my chest..." I say and when I don't get a reply for a while, I leave