Dysphoric (DNF-ftmGeorge)

Part 6

Triggers:
-dysphoria
-mentions of SH (selfharm)

Once at home I went straight to my room and fell onto the bed on my back effortlessly, sinking into the sheets as all the feelings I tried to suppress overflowed and erupted like mentos in a coke bottle.

I just stared at the ceiling as I felt the wet hot tears tickle the sides of my head and soak into the sheets casing my soft pillows. Soft sniffles echoed through my blurry room, "this fucking sucks." I swore. I wiped the tear streams off the sides of my face with my once dry hoodie covered fists, "why the fuck am I even crying??" I choked, laughing a little at just how stupid I seemed to myself.
"God I'm pathetic." I sobbed, a bit too loud. I covered my mouth with one hand, trying to drown out the sounds of my own choked hiccups, my other hand holding the side of my chest that had begun to hurt from the amount of jolting and straining on my ribs, it seems my new tighter binder that hadn't quite been worn in yet had started to take it's inevitable toll on my ribs well-being.

My mind started to wonder to negative places, thinking of that satisfying feeling of release I could experience, but at the high price of pain and suffering, it would all end in seconds, knowing I would only crave more of it. I thought about the blade, the way it shimmered as it reflected the light of a bathrooms dim bulb. I imagined the sound, the colour, the way the rip in my skin would slowly build up with the satisfying pure crimson that would-

I grabbed my hair and tried to slow my breathing, "No. No. No. No. No." I repeated, I can't, I couldn't, I shouldn't, "I w-won't do i-it." I promised, not after 6 years, I can't turn back, I don't want to start again, all that time down the drain, I can hold back right? Just like I did all those other times.

I gasped a shaky breath, my shaking sleeve covered hand over my mouth now saturated from the many tears that leaked from my now puffy red eyes.

A knock at the door. Shit I must have been loud.
"George? Can I come in?" He asked.
"No." I responded quickly, my voice croaked as I held the dam of emotions together, only a few leaks passing through the small cracks of the weak stone.
"George..." the voice sounded so sympathetic, he could definitely tell what was up.
I didn't want sympathy, I hated it, I didn't want people to feel sorry for me. It's just a waste of time to comfort me when they get nothing out of it.

I could tell he was suspicious, I shakily walked over to the door, and turned the handle, I opened it a little, hiding behind the door so he couldn't see me.
"I'm fine, what do you need?" I asked, trying my best absolute best to be just as fine as I had promised I was.

"George please let me come in." He soothing voice toyed with my heart strings, his company had already made me feel better, whether it was his presence or the fact he was distracting me, I knew he was was I needed right now.

I opened the door wider, but looked away, I used my long sweater sleeves to try and block his vision of my face, especially my burning eyes.

I heard the figure walk inside and close the door behind him.
I felt a familiar hand grip my wrist and gently pull my hand away from my face slowly.
"George please look at me." He pleaded.
I shook my head, no.
"George," he carefully placed his hands on either side of my face, the sudden cold temperatures against my cheeks making me flinch, "please just look at me."
I didn't resist, leaning into the touch of his hands I followed as they guided my head to face him, tilting my head up slightly since I was smaller.
I reluctantly forced my eyes to meet his beautiful pair of yellow ones, the eye contact breaking everything I had built. More salty tears flooded my eyes, they quickly trailed down my cheeks as I let out another sob, I quickly covered my mouth with my sleeves again, the abrupt movement causing the taller to let go.

"Shh Shh hey," the dirty blonde pulling me into his right embrace, "hey it's okay, George, let it all out, I'm here. It's going to be okay" he rubbed lines and circles into my back.
Swung my arms around his neck, happily accepting the warmth he was offering me, I leaned my forehead on his collar bone.

We stayed like that for almost half an hour, the patient man occasionally whispering sweet nothings into my ear as I continued to sob. After a while though I was just worn out, I had stopped crying around 20 minutes ago, we had just been hugging since then.

Dream decided to break the silence.

"Feeling any better?" His easing voice spoke, he leaned his head on top of mine, I nodded my head under his with a quiet sniffle.
"That's good." He hummed, he started stroking the hair on the back of my head, "you want to talk about it?" He asked.
I shook my head.
"That's fine. Want to just stay like this for a while?" He questioned.
"Please." I croaked.
"Okay." You could hear his smile.

Third person pov:

Feeling very fatigued, George was half asleep when he pulled away from the hug, this made Dream frown but he was understanding of the boy's decision only wanting to make him happy. Boldly, George took dreams hand and led him to his bed silently, he didn't speak, only pointed at the bed. Confused, Dream sat assuming that was what the boy was asking. George crawled onto his bed and lay down on his side, oddly confident in his sleep deprived state, he held his arms out to signal what he desired from the taller.

Immediately getting the hint, Dream lay down next to George, who immediately clung to his waist and held him close, digging his head into his chest.

Dream was slightly taken aback by the boys actions but didn't mind. He didn't want to ruin the moment, he didn't wish to change the mind of his distressed friend. He knew George would never dare do such a thing like this, 'he must be really out of it' he concluded, reaching for the brunettes hair to play with.

George was the first to drift off to sleep, Dream didn't notice until the sound of soft snores was heard, but his comforting grip on the taller didn't falter.
Dream couldn't help but smile at the thought of the boy in his arms. Something he could only dream to be true, he hoped it wasn't a dream.

Dream also fell asleep not long after. Still embracing the other.

Downstairs the other household members were laughing and cooking, Bad and Sapnap trying to show Karl and Quackity how to cook like normal human beings and not cause chaos and destruction in their very nice new kitchen.

"Dream! George! Dinner is ready!" Bad called up the stairs, they continued to set up the table only for said boys to not appear. There was no sign of them.
"I'll go get them." Sapnap volunteered.
He jogged up the stairs and knocked on Dreams door, "Dream?" He asked. No reply. He opened the door, the room was empty.
"Strange. I don't remember him leaving?"

He then walked over to George's room, hoping maybe he would know where Dream was. He knocked on the door, once again receiving no response. He opened it, He couldn't see anyo-

"Oh?" His eyes widened slightly from shock, he didn't expect to see Dreams back facing him in George's bed. He walked over to them, "awe" He cooed at the two.
Like the kind friend that he is, Sapnap took out his phone and took a photo of the two spooning, before quickly leaving and making his way down stairs.

"Karl you will never believe what I just saw."
"Spill." Said Quackity suddenly appearing from nowhere. He showed them the photo, "oh my god" they both awed.

"No George and Dream?" Bad asked.
"Nah they went out." Sapnap shrugged.

"Well I wish they told us before we made dinner." He sighed.

"It's fine, they both seem like the types to enjoy cold mac n cheese."
"Karl you burnt the mac n cheese, we are eating pizza." Bad deadpanned.
"Well more pizza for us then." He shrugged.