Dysphoric (DNF-ftmGeorge)

BONUS 2

Part 2 of last chapter

Triggers:
Mentions of self harm
Mentions of scars
Mentions of harassment from chapter 40
Mentions of dysphoria
(If I missed any, tell me, thank you.)

3rd person:

"I'm so sorry" Dream finally spoke up after a couple of minutes of hugging and silent crying from George.
George just shook his head, he wasn't sure what to say in this situation, his mind felt cloudy, he didn't believe this was real. He wasn't able to put how he felt into words, nor could he speak.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.
The brunette shook his head again.
The taller sighed sadly, it hadn't yet quite sunk in that George had actually done that to himself, he felt so guilty for not being there for him, completely ignoring the fact he had no way of knowing.
"George, you know we need to talk about this at some point, right?" He questioned, he knew it was a hard subject, but Dream knew now. And he didn't want George leaving him in the dark, keeping it from him, possibly just going straight back to doing it as soon as the taller takes his eyes off of him. He wanted to be there for him, and to do that, they had to be open with each other.

George hesitated before slowly nodding.
"It's okay" Dream hummed, stroking the brunettes hair, "we don't have to do this right now okay? I'll wait till you're feeling better, alright?" He kissed his head.
George nodded again.
"I'm sorry for pushing" the dirty blonde apologised, "we almost finished dinner anyway. Want to go do something else?"
George nodded again, but refused to release his grip on Dream.

Dream noticed this, humming for a moment as he thought, he just wanted George to be as comfortable as possible right now.
And so he lifted him up, the brunette crossed his legs round the tallers waist, letting out a small surprised squeak.
As Dream carried George to the stairs, he waved at Sapnap from the hallway as a sign that they were leaving, to which Sapnap returned a thumbs up.
The two made their way up stairs and into Dreams room, sitting on the bed, George now on his lap.

They just sat there in a comfortable silence for a while.

"Guess George isn't doing the dishes today then" Sapnap sighed.
"I'll do it" Quackity weakly volenteered.
"You sure, hun?" Karl frowned, still worried about his boyfriend after the glass incident.
"Yeah, I'm all good now, don't worry" he smiled.
The noirette felt bad, sitting next to George, after spilling the water, he too had seen what he imagined Dream pulled him out of the room for. He was about to say something about it, inform the brunette that they were visible, but then the glass shattered and so did his reality for a moment.
It was probably his fault, he thought maybe he would feel a bit better if he did his chore for him somehow.

"Can I ask about it?" Dream questioned, immediately regretting it, he had promised that he would let him talk in his own time, but his thoughts were eating him alive. He kept blaming himself and racking his brain over the whole situation. When? Why? How? He didn't know. It was such a shocking discovery, one he never wanted to make. "You don't have to talk or answer if you don't want, is it okay if I ask a couple yes/no answers?" He awkwardly questioned, biting his inner lip.

The brunette thought for a moment. His mind was a little fuzzy in ways, he felt off, it was new and hard to believe that this is really happening, everything occurred so fast it's like his brain hadn't quite caught up yet.
He eventually nodded again, tightening his grip on the boy he loved so dearly.

Dream pondered about the question he would ask, he had so many of them, yet so little he knew how to delicately phrase. He didn't want to ask anything too direct or extreme, it was obvious that George was a little out of it.
"Were you having a challenging time with your gender dysphoria?" He asked. It was one of his main questions. At least then, he would determine if he was the cause, slowly eliminating any other reasons he could think of if it weren't.

But George nodded. It wasn't a lie, he did do it whilst experiencing mass amounts of dysphoria, but the last time was because of those... those dickheads who harassed him a while back.

The other hummed in acknowledgment, thinking of other questions he had that could be phrased as a yes/no answer question.
"Does anyone else know?" He drew patterns on his upper back.
George nodded again.
He hummed again, "sapnap?" He guessed.
George nodded once again.
"I can tell it's a really hard topic for you..." he spoke, stroking his back supportively, "so I'll wait for you. But if it's something you think you can't do, I can ask Sapnap instead, with your permission."

George nodded. He really didn't want to talk about it, and didn't feel like he ever would, or could. He felt suffocated. Imagining any future conversations always ended with tears or trouble speaking and explaining properly.
He had told Sapnap about his dysphoria related ones, he didn't know why he felt more comfortable talking to Sapnap about it rather than his own boyfriend. Maybe it's because he actually understands? He knew someone who went through something similar.

"Okay..." he kissed the brunettes forehead, "I'll wait a few days before I ask incase you change your mind" he assured, "I would rather hear it from you, but if you can't then it's okay if I hear it from Sappynappy" he chuckled a little at the nickname.

George just nodded again. Honestly feeling drained.

They sat in silence once again, the brunette hugging Dream tightly. Though as he relaxed more and more so did his grip, "it's gunna be alright" the taller promised, continuing to sketch pictures into the brunettes back, "I love you."