Dysphoric (DNF-ftmGeorge)

Part 50

Ayo back.
Don't hate me for cliffhanger <3

Triggers:
Mentions of selfharm scars

Third person:

Some water was splashed at George, specifically his arms, luckily he was wearing a blue shirt, if it was white it would've revealed the red streaks on his arms.
But it still stung like a fucking bitch.

He flinched, letting out a yelp and reaching his his arm before hesitating, his hands also has salty water on and that wouldn't end well.
His cuts burned.

"George, you alright?" Sapnap asked quietly, the others hadn't really noticed, carrying on splashing water at eachother.

The brunette nodded violently, not convincing the taller at all, "George tell me what's wrong. Is your arm alright?" He asked, George nodded again, his breath hitching at the stinging sensation in his arm, he sucked in through his teeth before slowly exhaling, "I'm fine." He lied.

"Nope." He denied, "we are getting you back to shore and I am checking your arm." He demanded.

George shook his head. Nononono this is the worst thing that could possibly happen to him, nononono.

"George, please." He pleaded, "you're clearly injured and I want to help you."

"You can't help me Sapnap." The boy whisper yelled.

Sapnap raised a brow, "yeah I can" he denied, "I don't care what it is, I will help you with it, alright?"

George knew there was no way he could possibly escape this, he sluggishly followed Sapnap back to shore. The taller gave the others a thumbs up indicating they were fine and would be back soon.

Sapnao led George up to the public toilets, locking themselves in, it one a one bathroom one, not stalls.
"Thank you" George thanked, "I didn't want to do this in public" he tried to laugh.

Sapnap was just concerned, "George, what's going on?" He gently asked.

George just shrugged, he hadn't thought this far ahead, he didn't know what to do at this point.

"Can I see your arm?" Sapnap asked, still clearly assuming the injury wasn't self inflicted.

George hesitantly nodded, so slow he hoped Sapnap didn't see him agree and would maybe magically drop the subject.

George just looked away, he could bare to see the look on Sapnaps face when he did it, he could only imagine, horror? Sadness? Pity? Disgust?

Sampson noticed that, becoming more curious, he carefully reached for his wet sleeves and slowly started to roll them up. He couldn't- no. He didn't want to believe what he saw.
Red streaks, lots of them, littered his arm.

He couldn't have picked a worse day to find out, they were reasonably recent.

George's eyes started to water, partially from pain, and the other part from embarrassment, guilt and anxiety.

"George..." he whispered, unsure what to say himself.

George's tears started to fall, a part of him felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest, only for another heavier one to immediately crush him.
That voice, the pity, the sympathy, he didn't want it, it made him sound like he was ill and needed help, it made him feel weak, it made him feel absolutely pathetic and incompetent.
He hated that tone.
He hated the way people spoke to him after finding out.

"Don't" he choked, stopping Sapnao before he could continue, "don't do that"

"Do what?" Sapnap asked, he was trying to look into George's eyes, anything but his arm so not to make him uncomfortable.

"Don't speak like I'm fragile and mentally ill or something." He growled.

"I'm sorry. I'll try..." he hesitantly placed a hand on George's shoulder, "...bro?"

George chuckled a sob, "alright too casual." He sniffed, "but better."

Sapnap laughed aswell, glad he made them both feel a bit less awkward, "George I'm really sorry, man. I know this shit sucks." He stated.

"You do?"

"Yeah. I um... I know someone who went through this." He replied, vaguely, "but I helped him through it, and I can help you through it too if you will accept my help." He offered.

"I don't need help, Sapnap." He replied sternly.

Sapnap felt like he was having de-ja-vu, "he said the exact same words. George, you will realise it soon and it may be too late when you do." He explained.

"I'm fine"

"So you can stop whenever you like then?" He questioned.

"Of course I can. I did for six years." He announced proudly.

"That's amazing George." Sapnap congratulated, "but you've fallen back into this routine and I know it's hard to get back out of it."

"But I don't want to..." he whispered. He didn't think he needed to change anything.

Sapnap sighed, knowing exactly what he meant. "He said the same thing." He started, "and he's been clean for months now and doing a lot better. He regrets doing it so much. And you will too." Before George could speak he continued, "but of course I can't stop you, but I will try. I won't tell anyone, not even Dream, but ONLY if you talk to me about it, and we try and get you clean." He finished.

"Fine." He huffed, "but I don't need help."

"Or do you just not want help?"

Huh... he hadn't thought about that before.

He was going to answer when they heard a loud knock on the door, "YOU BETTER NOT BE HAVING SEX IN THERE!" Karl joked, failing to hold back his laughter.

The others voice made Sapnap immediately smile, he helped George roll his sleeve back down before opening the door.

"Here" Karl passed George his hoodie, it was rlly big on him since he's so tall, "I saw ur shirt was wet and I assumed you would want to take it off." He announced, "I also brought your loose binder, I saw it in your bag, my hoodie is so big nobody will notice the change I swear." He stated, "it might be nice for your chest to have a break as well as your mind" he smiled.

George smiled at Karl's kindness, "thanks..."

"No problem" he beamed before leaving back to the beach.

"Want me to wait outside for you?" Sapnap asked.

George nodded and he waited outside the door for George to get changed.

He took off his wet, salty shirt, and tried to take off his binder. It was wet so it was impossible to move.
It wasn't the first time this had happened, once it rained and it was saturated enough to stick to his skin, but he always managed to get it off.

He tugged and pulled, trying to roll it up from the bottom, he finally managed to pull it up a bit but then it wouldn't budge at all somehow, he decided to just pull it back down and keep wearing it-

"Ah shit" he cussed. It was stuck. And in a very uncomfortable and restricting way. He kept trying to pull it back down or all the way off but it just kept getting more and more uncomfortable, not to mention he had rolled it in a weird way during the struggle, meaning it was much tighter in a certain area.

"Fuck" he swore.

It was really stuck.