Dysphoric (DNF-ftmGeorge)

BONUS 3

Triggers:
Mentions of self harm
Mentions of harassment

Third person:

Just like Dream had promised. He waited a few days before asking the brunette again, keeping a closer eye on him now after finding out about his unhealthy coping mechanism. He tried to stay with him as much as possible, hoping maybe it was reassure the shorter that it was okay and that he was always going to be there for him.

Though, George was hating it. He hadn't spoken much to Dream after that, it's not like he could just pretend it never happened, Dream had seen his arms now, one of his least favourite experiences.
He was constantly lost in thought, spacing out constantly, all he could think about was the chat he was going to have to have with Dream, he was going to have to explain why and how, probably when.

He could answer the when, no problem. But it's the why and the how he was struggling with, both questions so simple yet so complicated.

Why?
'Well, why not?' He could answer, though he would just sound rude. He didn't see much wrong with doing it, especially when he was doing it, in the moment it seemed fine. But to others it may be disturbing? Gory? Unsettling? Especially if he explained in depth why, in the moment, he would enjoy doing it.
He could answer vaguely, 'to cope'.
He could just simply state 'it's something I can control in a world where everything always seems to be out of my control'.
Though to be completely honest, he wasn't too sure why he actually did it. He has for so long it ended up becoming a sort of routine whenever he felt down or overwhelmed and whenever he experienced mass amounts of dysphoria.

How? Also a simple question to be fair. But the reaction he was expecting wasn't something he wanted to see.

But he didn't want Dream to go to Sapnap. It's something the brunette had been contemplating for a few days now, ever since the confrontation. It's something that he should be telling. Sapnap didn't know the full story, he didn't know about why he did it the last time, he didn't tell anyone about the guys that had harassed him.

Said Brunette took a deep breath, currently standing outside Dreams door. Too nervous to go through the whole 'knock and wait' process, he abruptly opened the door and immediately sat on the bed, startling the boy who was sat at his desk with his headphones on, he was busy editing a video when the boy suddenly appeared in the corner of his eye.

Dream just blinked in confusion, both boys staring at eachother. One intrigued, the other anxious, wracking his brain for a way to start the conversation.
He hadn't thought this far ahead, he had hoped that once submerged in the situation, the words would just find themselves and flow out nicely.
He was very wrong.

His brain processing multiple possibilities at once, different things he could say, everything that could go wrong, all in one go hitting him like a wave.

Dream took off his headphones and turned to face him, "um. Hey?" He awkwardly laughed, noticing the brunettes obvious anxiety.
George cleared his throat, "hi."
They didn't say anything else, Dream just assumed that maybe the boy just needed the company, he didn't sound like he wanted to talk right now, so he just turned back to his computer.

The brunette panicked, knowing this was his chance, "Im ready to talk" he blurted before Dream could even pull his headphones back on. The dirty-blonde froze, knowing exactly what he meant. He once again placed his headphones down and got out of his chair, taking a seat beside George on the bed.

"And I'm ready to listen" he smiled, he was grateful that George was able to talk to him about this, he hoped he wasn't pushing him to hard, making sure he knew he had the option to get it from Sapnap. But he was going to do it himself. He's so brave, he admired that confidence.

George had none, no confidence, usually, but as he talked his words slowly pieced together quite nicely, over time getting lost in his own words.

He told him everything, how he started 6 years ago, how he wasn't too sure why but it became a habit after a while, what happened to trigger it last time and the men he had encountered.
The recent news made Dream furious, though he tried not to show it, just holding the brunettes hand as he explained his experiences as well as possible, supporting him through it.
He just wished he was there, when he was younger, when he was with that bitch, when those men approached him, he wanted to protect the boy.

George couldn't hold back his tears as he thought back to those moments he had suppressed, remembering those memories as if he were there. But he kept going. He wanted to tell him everything.
And Dream did as he said he would, listened. And that's all he needed.