Salvatore | Jikook ✔️

#31: Red blooms

"But he, who dares not grasp the thorns should never crave the rose."

In our life there are certain
memories that our mind avoids recalling and with the span of time those awful memories begin to fade away and remain only as mere smudges of colors and sometimes feelings.

And often when recalling a moment there is a certain insignificant detail we recollect from that moment, the detail that flickers before our eyes when we think of that particular memory.

12 years ago when Jungkook had lost his twin there were certain details about the day that Jungkook often recalled when he thought about that moment.

He remembered the cloudless blue sky that seemed like it will swallow him and a lonely red rose that had been lying on the sidewalk, looking like it was drenched in blood.

Just like when he would often look back to this day in the future he would wonder why he never saw it coming, how he should have seen the signs that kept repeating, warning him.

Like the blue cloudless sky of Tokyo, the blue candles, a blue shirt, and blue puddles of melted candles.

The roses.

"Remember," Jimin's voice was hoarse, "when you asked me about Jeo's mother and I said I don't know who she was and whether she was even alive or dead?"

Jungkook felt his heart sink, he didn't want to hear anything because he knew it can't be anything good.

"I found her."

For a moment the words didn't make any sense.

Jungkook got up to his feet wanting to flee, yet he couldn't bring himself to turn around and he couldn't bring himself to run away either.

"The truth was I never stopped looking, however, I had given up hope of ever finding her." Jimin's hoarse voice paused, and he called in that pained voice, "Jungkook."

Jungkook found himself blinking back his emotions, however, he didn't move.

"Look at me, Jungkook," Jimin begged.

Jungkook swallowed but he didn't move, "Jungkook," Jimin walked till he was standing in front of him.

Later when he would recall this moment, Jungkook often wondered if things would have been different if had just listened, if he has looked up at Jimin at that moment.

However, right now anxiety and fear clouded his mind.

Jimin who had been standing in front of Jungkook couldn't help it as he looked away, something within his chest curling on itself, withering painfully.

He didn't want to do this, he couldn't even decide where to start or what to say. His mind was growing noisy with every moment.

Tears brimming his eyes.

Why was love so hard? Why did it hurt so much?

It was already mentally exhausting for him to tell Seokjin everything and even then after seeing the man who always had a smile on his face, silently crying, he had felt a pang in his heart.

And this was the man he loved, it was even harder.

"Will you go to her?" Jungkook asked in a small voice, those were the first words he said to Jimin directly.

Jimin's heart was seized and he swallowed heavily before he answered in a whisper, "She is terminally ill."

It wouldn't have been so painful if someone ripped his heart out at that moment.