𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 → 𝐥𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

39. my secrets & my trauma

friday,
november 19th, 2020

LUKE HEMMINGS

I don't know what I expected walking through the doors of this pub.

A live band maybe? An addictive atmosphere and jolly bartenders tossing cocktails? Maybe even Ezra, sitting alone waiting for me with a drink in her hand and a smile on her face.

I certainly never anticipated the sight of my brother sitting beside the petite brunette, laughing with her and what hurts even more is the way she eagerly participates in the conversation.

Her back is turned to me, but I know it's her. God, I could spot her from a mile away. He's facing me, but not looking at me and I swear all I can feel is anger and all I can see is red and I'm storming towards them and punching Jack right in the nose before I can debate it any further.

A chorus of gasps surrounds me and Jack stumbles, catching himself from falling off the barstool with his booted foot. I'm seething, the excitement to finally see Ezra completely dissipated at the sight of him. Blood streams from his nostrils and he's trying to catch it in his hands, looking up at me with pinched brows and evil fucking eyes that resemble mine more than I'd like to admit.

"Luke!" Ezra exclaims, grabbing my wrist in both of her hands but I can barely feel it. "What are you doing?"

"You don't fucking talk to her," I growl, bringing my face far too close to Jack's, "You don't even fucking look at her."

My words are sinfully harsh and I watch as he shakes his head in disbelief and as a smile curves upon his lips. I clench my fists at my sides as I catch sight of a hefty security guard approaching us from across the pub. Ezra is still gripping on to me, attempting to draw me back to her but I stand my ground.

"Is that clear?" I spit, positive I'm going to scream when he laughs bitterly.

As his smirk widens, I signal to the security guard that I'm leaving by taking a step back from the older Hemmings. Jack scoffs, infuriating me even more but I refrain from unleashing everything built up inside of me on him.

"Clear as day, brother," he says and I cringe in disgust, the final two syllable word sounding like pure venom to me because brother means fucking nothing to me anymore. It hasn't since Ben and it hasn't since Jack fucked up.

"Luke, please," I hear a gentle voice whimper. I inhale shakily, turning to face Ezra just as a large palm lands on my shoulder.

"You need to go, mate," the security guard urges, shoving me towards the exit.

I angrily shake him off, shooting him a deadly glare before tangling my fingers with Ezra's and pulling her with me out of the pub.

"Luke..." she whispers and I can't even look at her because I don't want to see the disappointment or fear in her eyes. I settle for dragging my hands through my curls, my jaw clenched as I pace back and forth on the footpath. "Are you okay?" she surprises me by asking.

She just watched me punch someone square in the face and she's asking me if I'm okay? I've done nothing in my lifetime to deserve her.

I scowl, turning my back to her and pinching the bridge of my nose in utter stress. I promised myself I wouldn't let her see me like this. The side of me who lashes out at people as a tension relief, for pleasure and punishment and everything in between because fuck me, I knew she'd hate me. Now, she probably does.

Tears cloud the corner of my vision and I can't tell if it's from rage or the fear of what Ezra thinks of me. When two small hands land on my waist from behind me, I relax my shoulders and clench my eyes shut. My head falls. I can't look at her.