𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 → 𝐥𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

71. everything i've written is for you

sunday,
april 17th, 2021

EZRA GREYSTONE

I don't think I've slept.

Every nerve residing in my whole being is on high alert and encompassed with secondhand sorrow— pity even.

As Luke's deep breaths warm the crook of my neck — his body practically engulfing my own as he lays on my chest — I twirl the strands of his unruly hair around my fingertips.

I didn't want to close my eyes during the night in case he woke up and he needed me.

He lost his grandfather yesterday. I want to be there for him every minute of the day, even if that means losing sleep.

The sunrise casting through the edges of my window where the blind doesn't quite stretch to reminds me of how exhausted I am.

Yeah, I definitely haven't slept.

"Ez?"

Luke's rasp fills my ears, his voice even more gravelly than usual and he elicits a tired groan.

"Yeah?" I whisper, not wanting to disturb his peace that I'm so thankful he's gotten throughout the night.

Having the love of my life sob into my chest with my arms struggling to keep him on his two feet last night broke my heart.

He cried for so damn long. I have never seen him so vulnerable— not even when he told me about his family all those months ago. It was even a struggle to get him out of his hoodie and joggers so that he could get comfortable in bed with me, and he must've used at least three packets of tissues by soaking up all his tears.

Luke clears his throat, his eyelashes tickling my jaw and I gently stroke his stubbled cheek with my thumb. My face rests amid his curls, his arms tightening around my waist while failing to prepare me for what he says next.

"I quit Riverside."

My fingers entwined in his curls pause, my heart plummeting to the pit of my stomach. Luke doesn't seem phased, his eyes still heavily closed with gentle breaths slipping past his parted lips.

"Luke..." I mumble, taking my lip between my teeth, "I didn't ask you—"

"I know that," he murmurs, kissing my neck lazily, "I know you didn't ask me to, but I can't take it anymore. I don't want to have to see the fear in your eyes when I tell you I've to go to training— and you certainly don't deserve to suffer by seeing me seriously hurt ever again."

My heart swells at his words, my mind fogging up drastically with an overflowing sense of adoration for my boy. His head tilts, curls brushing my jaw as he looks up at me from my chest.

I shake my head, threading my fingers through his silky curls yet again, "I didn't want you to give up your outlet for me," I say with a frown, "I was unreasonable before, Lu. I want you in whatever way I can have you. Riverside or not."

"You are my outlet," Luke whispers in response, shuffling to lay beside me.

A smile tips the edges of my lips upwards as he pulls me into his side, my head tucking into his neck this time. I hum in contentment, my tummy erupting with butterflies at how touchy he is at this early hour. His arms loop around me securely, his fingers slipping between the strands of my hair to cradle my head to him, as if he never wants to let me go.