Since Day One

Part 70. The warriors will

"So, you gave the order right?" I began as I sat in my bed while Octavia stood at the door, almost fearful to come closer.

She nodded slightly avoiding eye contact with me, "Even after you saw how I did everything to keep her from it for 6 years."

She did nothing this time, she merely gave me another nod.

I stood up from the bed and took a step forward, "I trusted you Octavia, hell you even helped me raise her."

"I know."

"And to be honest, it was a smart move, if anything were to happen to me, to have a commander who would listen to you." I continued as I kept my eyes trained on her.

"Yes, and I understand why you more mad but y-." She stopped speaking and seemed to realize something for a moment, "Where is Nadia?"

I hadn't told her what I'd done, but she has no reason to be mad once she knows, "I let her leave with Clarke and Madi. They're with Diyoza."

"Diyoza?" She scoffed as I explained everything to her, "She's not-"

"She's not what? Safe." I raised my voice slightly as I took another step forward, "She's safer with our enemy than she is with you. That says a lot."

"Ok, so what happens now, you just leave and do whatever the hell you want?" She moved to the side and extended her hand towards the outside of the door, granting me open access to exit, "Go! Leave!"

I walked towards her but I didn't walk out, I stood a few feet away from Octavia, "I want you to know that every ounce of trust I had in you is gone."

Whenever I looked into her eyes I saw how glassy they were, full of sadness, regret, she was speaking a thousand words with only her eyes, like all she wanted to just break down, she's been through hell and me leaving would make everything ten times worse.

"But I won't leave you O. Despite everything that's happened, you are my family Octavia. 6 years in this bunker we led together, you and I, all because I was scared to lead alone, I started this war, I forced our people to eat their friends and family, it would be hypocritical to leave you." I stopped speaking and I stepped even closer to her, we stood face to face and it was as if I could hear heart beating, she was trying to keep her breath steady but was failing.

"We will win this war, together, like we planned, and I will always worry about you, but I don't want you close to my daughter again, and you won't go off spiraling, making decisions without my approval." She looked at me in fear, she took a step back and I just took one forward. I turned to my left, on my way to leave but Octavias voice stopped me.

"Where are you going?"

"We're about to put 3 of the most important people in our lives in the fighting pits, I'd like to speak with them before they murder each other." I said coldly before I continued walking.

As I walked down the corridors my head was still spinning, so much happening, I agreed to let Bellamy, Indra, and Gaia in the fighting pits. As a person, I don't want them to fight, but it's the smart thing to do, to get wonkru to follow me, taken there's a new commander who just so happens to be my daughter.

On the other hand, Montys algae farm seems to be working and could help us survive but honestly, I want to go, I want to fight, I want a real home that isn't made out of metal walls and steel doors.

Trying to hold on to any happy thought, I couldn't find any. Not having the flame has me at war with my self.

Once the guards opened the doors to Gaia's cell I walked in to see her sitting on a bench, she seemed as If she was whispering to herself, praying, fighting strategies, either way, it was enough for her to not hear me come in.