Surprise, Surprise

Chapter 2

**TW- mentions of depression**

"You're sure that this is what I have?" JJ asked her doctor. 

"It isn't a certain diagnosis. Since it has only happened once, I can't really say for sure. I do, however, believe that you do have depression. With everything that you've been through, it's very understandable. So for right now, I'm am going to put you on an antidepressant  to help with your depression. I want you go to see a psychiatrist to be certain that this is what you have. I want you to go in a month, and I want you to write down everything if you see or hear anything that isn't there in the mean time. This isn't anything to be ashamed of. Surprisingly, there are a lot of people who have this. You're not alone." her doctor said. 

"So it's certain that I have depression." JJ stated. 

"Yes. That I do know. Now, whether it's psychotic depression, I'm not sure. It may just have been from not getting a lot of sleep and due to being under an immense amount of stress. Don't worry right now since it's only happened once. I would start to worry if it keeps happening. Now, one more thing. I want you to start seeing a therapist since you don't like to talk to those who you're close with. With the kidnappings, your previous job as an FBI agent, and you losing your wife who you had just married are all things you need to talk about. Not just the outside layer of your emotions about them. Dig deep and really tell how you're feeling." he said. JJ nodded her head even though she absolutely didn't want to talk to a therapist. Her doctor sent her on her way, and so she decided to drive around the city. She had to turn off the radio because every song that played reminded her of Emily. She couldn't even bring herself to play a playlist on her Spotify. 

As JJ drove around, she started noticing all of the places Emily liked to go to. The coffee shop, the bar, the park, just everywhere. Emily loved discovering new places. JJ decided to go to a new place that her and Emily have never gone to together before since Brooklyn was watching the kids and pets. It happened to be another coffee shop, and so JJ took a deep breath and walked inside. She could smell the coffee instantly, and it made her think of Emily. Emily loved her coffee. "Hi! What can I get you today?" the barista asked in a chipper mood. 

"Uh, I'll get a jumbo, iced breve with toasted marshmallow and salted caramel flavorings." JJ ordered. Emily's favorite coffee order. 

"Okay, that will be $6.75." she said. JJ handed the barista her card, and she swiped it. She gave JJ her receipt as well as the one she had to sign. JJ signed it, and she waited on her order. As JJ looked around, she noticed that this coffee shop was more Emily's style. It had simple decorations, but the decorations were what made it so pretty. Emily loved simple. 

JJ waited only a minute before her coffee was done. She grabbed it and walked out. She tried it, and she was pleasantly surprised at how good it actually was. It made her feel close to Emily. She had gotten a message from her pharmacy to tell her that her medication was ready, so she drove there. She went through the drive-thru line so she didn't have to deal with anymore people. JJ drove back to her and Emily's house and walked in. She was hit with a heavy wave of realization that Emily was truly gone. She wasn't coming back. She would never hear Emily's voice again. She would never hear her say 'I love you' again. She would never see her beautiful face again. She would never see the goddess she called her wife ever again. With this realization, JJ looked at the pictures of her and Emily hanging on the wall. She took one off and just stared at Emily. She looked at how genuinely happy they were. But then she thought of Syvie's father and how he took that happiness away from them. JJ screamed and smashed the photograph onto the floor. The kids and pets were at Brooklyn's house, so she didn't have to worry about them. 

JJ took each photo that had Emily in it and smashed it to the floor. She didn't care how much of a mess she was making. All she cared about was getting her anger out. She let loose and smashed more than just the pictures. She threw the contents on the coffee table at the wall, she threw flowers onto the ground that were on the end tables. Basically anything in her reach she threw. After her anger was out, she grabbed a picture of her and Emily and slid down the wall and sat on the floor. She sobbed while looking at Emily. She didn't know how to do anything without her. She didn't know how she was going to care for two children by herself plus animals. She didn't know how she was going to just function without Emily. 

JJ finally was able to move after being numb and paralyzed by the pain of Emily being gone. She grabbed her phone and texted Brooklyn, asking if she could keep the kids and pets overnight just so she had some space. Of course Brooklyn had no problem with it. She loved being an aunt to them and spoiling them. 

JJ sat on the floor, emotionless, for another 20 minutes before she got up. She didn't care that there was glass stuck to her. She looked at her pills before taking one. After she swallowed it, she stared at the bottle. She thought back to the little white pills that she had previously became addicted to. She was a year clean, but that didn't matter to her. She thought back to the way the pills made her feel. She thought back to how she could just let go of everything until she woke up the next day. She wanted to buy some really badly. However, she knew Emily wouldn't want her to. So she called the person she was closest to in her family. 

"Mom? Can you fly out here? I'm not doing so great right now and really need you." JJ said. 

A/N

Hey guys! Things will start to take off sometime in the next upcoming chapters. It may shock you as to what happens (or not). I hope you like this chapter!