Surprise, Surprise

Chapter 3

**TW- mentions of depression and d*ug use**

"Hey momma? Do you think I could have mom's final letter she wrote? Well, the one in case she died? It's for a project that I'm working on." Declan asked JJ. JJ looked at him and couldn't say 'no', so she nodded her head. She got out the letter from Emily's book that she was reading and handed it to him. 

"Just, please take good care of it." JJ said. 

"I will." Declan said and walked away to his room. JJ was assuming that it was for his sophomore composition class since they were starting to actually compose their own music. The teacher gave those who passed the freshman composition class homework to work over the summer to start creating their own work. It wasn't due until midterm, but he wanted them to get a head start as it would be a lot for just a few months. He gave them the option as to what kind they would compose. Declan wanted to do a piano piece, but he wanted to challenge himself. So, he decided to go with a full band piece. His inspiration was his mom and JJ's life together. All of the sweet moments, heartaches, and heroic moments of their life together. 

JJ had talked to her mom a couple days ago, and she was trying so hard to follow her advice. However, the urge was at it's strongest, and so she went with it. With Emily's funeral coming up, she needed to ease her pain and tension and just everything she felt. She called up her dealer and asked if he could meet her at a park that was 15 minutes from her house. He had agreed, so she had to wait in the meantime. She hadn't ate much, she hadn't seen anyone that wasn't real, but her medication that she was taking wasn't working like she wanted it to. She wanted it to take away her pain. Even though it did for the most part, she wanted all of it away. She hated being in her thoughts. She was trying her best to stay strong for the kids. She didn't show very much sadness when she was around them. She tried to be happy as much as she could for their sake. 

Right in the middle of feeding Daviana, JJ's dealer texted her saying that he was about 10 minutes away, so JJ had Declan take over for a few minutes while she went to get some "groceries" before the store closed. After he started feeding her, JJ went to her car and headed to the park. "Is there a reason as to why you're buying again?" he asked her as he was handing her the bag, and she handed him the money. JJ hid the bag in her purse and sat down on the bench that was near them. 

"My wife died about a week ago on our wedding day. She didn't die of natural causes. Her psycho ex slash baby daddy from her first child who she aborted shot her on the alter while she was next to me. Her blood was all over me, and she never made it off the table at the hospital. My emotions are something I can't deal with right now. I'm on an antidepressant, but I need my mood to be all gone. These make that happen, so I need them to take the edge off." JJ answered. 

"Oh shit. I'm so sorry that happened. That son of a bitch needs to be caught and rot in prison." he said. 

"Or murdered." JJ mumbled. 

"Look, Jareau. I know this will be very hypocritical of me to say, but I don't want you to throw your life away for revenge on one person. I get that you're angry and want him to pay the price of the pain that he caused you, but let the authorities, your co-workers, handle it. They will catch him. Don't kill him, or you're going to be the one in prison. Not him." he said. 

"How much do you make from selling?" JJ asked. 

"A lot of money. Usually thousands a day. Why?" he asked, taken off guard from her changing he subject. 

"So if I buy from others who make it to sell, do I have to pay full price?" she asked. 

"Depends on who you go to. Some will make you pay full price. Others may let you have it at half price plus something else in return. Others you can just sleep with them in order to get some. Why are you asking?" he asked. 

"No reason." JJ said. She was coming up with the perfect plan in her head in order to catch Sylvie's father. 

"I may be a druggie, but I'm sure as hell not stupid. Why are you asking these questions?" he asked. 

"Fine. I heard from someone that he was into drugs. Specifically marijuana. So I figured if I could start selling it, then I could encounter him." JJ said. 

"I'm not going to let you start dealing drugs just to potentially meet with this guy again and murder him. I'm not allowing it." he said. 

"What if I just sleep with the guys you get marijuana from so you can get it for free, and then wait and see if he actually tries to buy from you? I promise to just arrest him and not kill him." JJ said. 

"I'm not going to let guys use your body sexually just for some marijuana." he said. 

"Come on. I want to do it if it means getting justice for Emily. At this point, I'm willing to do everything for justice for her." JJ said. 

"Even if it means basically becoming a prostitute and risk losing your job?" he asked. 

"Yes." JJ said. He sighed and shook his head. He didn't want to agree to it, but he felt as if he had no choice. He couldn't just say 'no' because he knew she really loved Emily. So he reluctantly agreed. JJ thanked him before going to her car and taking two pills. She sighed with relief and felt the burdens lift from her shoulders. She felt as if she could breathe again. 

JJ decided to pick up a few things from the grocery store so that way Declan wouldn't get suspicious. 

A/N

Hey guys! Here we go with a completely different JJ. Let me know what you think! I hope you like this chapter!