difficult // taegyu

twenty second chapter

Surprisingly, I didn't had a bad dream this night. But this doesn't make me feel any better right now.

How am I supposed to go through the day, when I feel like crying as soon as I wake up?

I'm awake since a few minutes but I didn't dare to open my eyes yet. I just feel the soft texture of the bed cover above me.

Slowly I open my eyes just to meet a beautiful sight. Taehyun lies next to me, eyes closed, a small pout on his lips. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. Just cute.

"Good morning" his slightly, because of the sleep, rough voice filled the room and send shivers over my body. He turns his face towards me and gives me a sleepy smile, with his eyes half closed.

Wow, I could get used to this greeting every morning.

"Good morning" I greet him back, smiling.

Without even noticing, I immediately slide myself closer to him. He gets the hint and lifts one arm to embrace me, while I snuggle myself into his chest.

We both don't want this moment to end, both loving the presence of the other one. I also can hear his heart pounds. I get so much comfort that I wanna lie here forever. But of course, the time isn't on our side.

"You know, I have to leave tonight..." Taes voice is now less rough, but I can clerly hear a tone of disappointment. I just nod as a respond, still aware that he can't see I, because I'm still leaning on him. But I'm sure he can feel every single movement.

He already told me before when he will have to leave. I knew it wouldn't be forever, the two of us at the sea while holidays, but I don't know what will happen next. As the CEO of the Choi's I must be in Seoul, but I'll travel around Korea maybe even around the world.

I must fix things with my parents. There has to be a possibility for us two stay like that, at least to stay in contact.

After a few more minutes Tae goes up and so do I.

We make ourselves ready and join Yeonbin for breakfast. Till this whole process we don't talk much, not because we don't want to, it's just comfortable and we need no words right now. We want to enjoy each others presence without any distraction.

"Hey, what's up?" Yeonjun tries to start a conversation.

"Not much." Taehyun is quick to respond while I only shrug my shoulders.

Both of us know that we have to talk sooner or later, but we don't want to, because sometimes talking make things become more real. Cause we don't want to see the reality, we want to keep that imagination alive, but we cannot live in an imagination.

After a quite breakfast my boyfriend and I take a walk. We are walking down the street, not bothered by any cars or other people.

"What do we do?" I finally speak up, what's constantly in my mind.

"I don't know" Taehyun mumbles and I can see by the frown on his face, that it wasn't easy for him to say that. He is the mart one, he always has an answer but sometimes even the smart ones don't have an solution for everything.

"I think" he goes on after a short silence, "that we can fix this. They are your parents. They may be monsters sometimes but even monsters can feel love. I think they want the best for you, so you just have to make clear what's the best for you, but before you tell them you should be sure yourself.", he looks down, before he continues, "I don't want to be a reason for your future to fail."

Did- did he really said that? How could he even think- "Stop saying such bullshit!" I almost scream, making him a bit startled. "I'll fix things with my parents and I don't have to think twice what's the best for my future. People say that you only need yourself to success, but what if I only find myself when I'm with you? What if I need you, to be my real self?"

Breathless, I look at him, waiting for his answer. But instead of saying something he just engulfs me in a tight, short hug and kisses me right after. I missed his lips on mine, so I immediately respond to the kiss.

It wasn't a lustful kiss, it was sad, but full of love.

There we are standing, two souls who found each other, kissing next to a street while the sun is shining bright. But the problem is still there, didn't solved till now.

We decided that it would be the best when I talk to my parents now. Then we will know what we have to deal with. Since Tae and the other two live in Soul we can easily see each other, when we are home.

We arrived at the hotel, and I convinced Tae to let me go alone, only to be greeted with coldness in my room.

"Good day, son" My father spits out the last word with disgust written on his face. My mother looks different, sad in a way or just disappointed? I can't tell. My younger brother is also in the room. "We expected you to be here, anything you want to say?"

"Yes, I have" I swallow one time and mentally prepare myself for the things I'll say.

"I now it's hard for you to believe, but I actually found someone, who is good to me. A person I can rely on, who I can trust. He gives me so much love, more than you ever showed me. And I know live isn't easy for you. You have to lead a big company; you lost a son and now you finally want to rest. And I'm willingly to make sure you can rest, but only on one condition: I can live the life I want to live, you won't control me anymore."

I look in faces full of disbelief. My brother is in shock, but I clearly can see that he is proud, but at the same time anxious. What will our parents say? My father looks at me without any emotions, he can't believe what I said, but he doesn't know how to act too. And my mother... my mother has teary eyes, and she starts to move, while the other two sit in shock. She comes closer to me, before she hugs me carefully. I don't respond to the hug, not knowing how to feel. Does she feel bad? Did she care the whole time? Or does she now want to act as if I am important to her?

"I'm sorry..." She mumbles. I still don't know how to feel. Normally a hug gives you comfort but this hug makes me feel uncomfortable, I don't want her hands anywhere near my body. I don't feel protected, I feel like I am in the hands of my enemy. I know that this is not what I should feel. I should be relieved, I should be hopeful that everything will be good now. But I don't trust these feelings enough to let me feel them.

They will be only temporary for sure.

But still, something changed in the atmosphere of the room. My mother let go of me after a few seconds, which felt like hours, but she always took my side while we talk about the contract.

We all know that 'living the life I want to live' is more than just some stupid phrase. I want freedom to decide, and they know that it will affect, whom I will live my life what I will do and what I represent for our company.

My father still looks like he hates me but my mum seems different. I still don't know if I like the knew 'mum', but it's different. My brother looks down, only down. While we are talking I go to him and cuddle with him. It's my way to tell him that he's forgiven. 

We talked hours. At least it felt like hours. 

In the end we came to a contract, everyone signed.

So, it's final now.

I am the boss of the Choi's.

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helooooo, Ihm back and it felt like forever...

school stress soo much :( I don't want to study anymore!!

anyways, did you like the chapter? does it make sense?

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