difficult // taegyu

twenty first chapter

After I woke up and made breakfast for Gyu and me, he left. He only told me he would be talking to his parents. I don't know what this conversation will be about. Actually, I don't know anything.

And that's okay. I tell myself that it's okay. I try so hard to give him space, to not be that annoying boyfriend, who wants to know everything. But it's difficult. I just want to know why he's talking to them. Is it because of the things he told me about this 'contract' with his parents? Since he told me all these things, I feel the need to protect him even more. I can't lose him!

Wow I really sound like a love-drunk teenage girl, or somebody in a love story. (a/n: lmao)

But it's true. I need to give him space, I can't be all possessive, with that I would lose him anyway. I need to trust him. He is mine and I am his. It's how it is and we will deal with every situation!

Right?

Why am I always in my bed when I rethink my life decisions? Softly chuckling, I make my way out of my room, only to be greeted with a lovey-dovey Yeonbin couple living their best life.

Soobin, this big ass bunny looks so tiny right now, snuggling on Yeonjuns lab and being hugged tightly by the older. The said male greets me with a warm smile.

I smile back. Don't ask me, even I am surprised. As you may know, I'm not in the mood to smile, but I did it. My love was with me one night and is now gone again.

I take back everything earlier, fuck the space I wanted to give him, I can't do this. I have to tell him, he can't leave over and over again like that, without saying anything. He's keeping me worried as hell.

I make a coffee and make myself comfortable on the couch, finally getting Soobin's attention. "Hey Tae" he says, not even waiting for me to respond something, before he worried goes on, "everything okay?".

He knows me too well. I mean if I didn't want him to know, I wouldn't let it shown. Sighing I tell him, that Beomgyu is gone, talking with his parents. "... and I am worried, Hyung. I don't even know why. No, I know why. His parents are scary, I mean I'm not afraid of them, but Beomie probably is."

Soobin, who has turned around to see me, nods and leans back on Yeonjun. "Maybe, it's nothing serious, but he told me something yesterday. Something about our future and I am not sure, what his parents will do now."

"Tae, I really appreciate your worries and I'm sure Beomgyu does too, but don't think too much. You can't control your future. Make sure Beomgyu is safe, like you want but you must give him space, handling his own problems. Be there for him, but don't make his problems yours. That's not your part." Soobin says seriously.

There it was his speaking skills. The shy, tall boy, finally catched self-confidence. Where is the boy that told me, while crying, that he is afraid of taking a step, or talking with somebody, because it could change everything? Here is another Soobin. The one that feels safe, the one that knows he can't control his future, the one that could easily be a leader. I always knew he is like that, sometimes I could see tiny fragments of that personality, but now he is full of it. And if this is the work of a certain Yeonjun by his side, then I am more than happy.

I nod. "Okay. I'll do as you say." No, I will not try to do as he said, I will do as he said. I don't need to try. I can do everything. I mean, obviously. I am Kang Taehyun. Am I wrong?

We continue to speak, telling each other unimportant stories about everything that comes to our minds. But I can't help to think about my panda the whole time. How is he doing? Are his parents treating him nicely?

Ugh, Tae! Focus!

In that moment, I hear someone knocking at our front door. Quickly I stand up and go straight (a/n: more or less, if you'd ask me ;)) to the door. A sad looking Gyu greets me.

"Hey, what-" "Stop that!" he interrupts me right away.

Shocked by this, I go silent. I take a step back, making him place to come in.

I want to ask again, but I hesitate. Soobin said, I should give him space, and that's what I'll do. Silently I follow him to the couch. My Hyungs watch us, not talking with each other.

"They are disappointed." The sound was so quiet, that I almost didn't hear it. He stands in the middle of the room, with his head down and fisted hands. I only see his back.

"They kicked me out. They said they want me to be reliable and trustable till tomorrow. Since then, I should look where I stay." I don't have to see his face, to know that tears are streaming down his cheeks right now.

It doesn't take me seconds to approach to him, engulfing him into a tight back hug.

"If they don't want you as you are, it's their fault. That's who you are and it's wonderful. You are perfect. It's their lost." I say, meaning everything I say.

He slowly calms down. And then he starts telling me and Yeonbin the whole conversation: "I came and the first thing I saw was a crying Hyuka. I don't know what they did, but it was surely not nice. I hugged him, even though we didn't talk things out. But with that, I was now the focus of my parents. They asked me questions, and I told them everything they wanted to know. But they didn't like it. I've never came out to them till now. A-and then my father y-yelled at me: 'How dare you to be the same disappointment as your brother? Do you want to end like him?' A-a-and- And" He starts to breath heavily, nearly hyperventilating. I grab his hand, caressing the back of his hand with my thumb.

I hug him tighter, which causes Beomgyu to scream out loud. What?! What the fuck? Why did he scream, as if I would hurt him? Quickly I remove my hands from their spots and look at him worriedly. And then reality hits me. Wasn't it the same yesterday? Sometimes, when he laid in a specific way he would whimper quietly, but I noticed it. I just didn't want to ask. But that's enough. If it is like I think it is, I can't guarantee for nothing.

"And what?" I ask him, my voice so cold and serious, making him look in my eyes. But they are the same as my tone, cold.

"He h-hit me." This is all that I need. "Where is he?" I don't get an answer.

"No" Soobin sternly says. Yeonjun nods. While Soobin walks towards Beomgyu, hugging him softly and careful, Yeonjun walks towards me. "Don't even think that. Believe me I would want to do the same. Especially, because he laid his hands on Hyuka too. But it won't make things better." He places one hand on my shoulder to turn me around, so I can see my crying boyfriend. I immediately become soft, and I replace Soobin from his spot.

"We will fix this! But now let me treat your wounds." I lead him to the bathroom, carefully treating his wounds. His whimpers and sobbing, making me so worried that I want to go to an hospital, but he refuses.

I gave him something comfortable to change.

And this is how, he ended up in my arms at night once again. And I won't complain, because I love drifting to sleep next to him, knowing that he will be in my arms, when I wake up. I love his presence. I play with his slightly curling hair, as my mind becomes clear and only one thought remains there.

I love him.

----------------------------

hellooooo, how are you doing? I hope you're good. If not, my dms are always open, no matter what ^^

do you like that chapter? actually, there aren't that many chapters left :(

anyways, do you like the way we are going?

and there is one thing I wanted to tell you; don't be confused about Gyus dreams. I will explain them one day, don't worry. I just wanted to say, that you don't have to worry too much. they have a meaning, but you may think in a too bad way...

I would love to hear your theories or thoughts in general! So keep voting and commenting!

have a great day or night! love you all