difficult // taegyu

twenty third chapter

Where is he? Why isn't he back? What are his parents telling him? Will he change his mind? What will happen when I'm home again? Will my parents greet me warmly, like Beomgyu should be greeted? Will he leave me?

Taehyun, what are you even thinking? Why are you thinking that stuff? Beomgyu would not leave you, right? He's by his parents to fix this problem! But I am the problem. If he gets rid of me all his problems would be gone. Maybe I should just help him? Getting rid of me?

I don't know what to do anymore. It's not like I don't trust Beomgyu. I do, I really do. But I don't trust myself. Maybe I won't see it if he's not happy? Maybe I'm too blind to see that he's hurting because of me? I don't want to be the reason that he's hurt.

I'm sitting on my bed again if you wondered. It's raining again, so I am able to see my broken self again. And I am alone. All alone, and I know it's better that way. I was alone since ever. It's my destiny I should be alone forever.

Soobin and Yeonjun are gone, I don't know where they are or when they will return. Don't think that I am rude. It's not like I forget about the others it's more like I think they are better without me.

These thoughts are frustrating. If I am the problem then I should fix it, but I can't, so maybe I am not the problem? Well, I guess, it's the whole situation. It is like a puzzle but the order isn't correct until now. But Gyu will find a way to make the order right. I know he will find a solution with his parents! Why is everything so difficult?

I know why I didn't want to fall in love like in a vacation love story! It just makes things more complicated. I can't even focus on one thing, my mind is always drifting away, back to Beomie.

Not that I'm complaining, thinking about him makes me happy most of the time, but sometimes there aren't only happy thoughts. But whenever I close my eyes, I see his smile. His shy, little smile that he wants to hide behind his hands every time. And whenever I see that, I can't help but smile too. I feel like in a teenage movie, but I really am a fool for him. I can't change the fact that I fell for him.

And I don't want to change that, but it's an unusual feeling that somebody else has to fix problems for me. Normally, I would solve the problems for everyone. But my brain didn't come up with a plan to fix this on my own. Seems like I'm not able to solve every problem with my smart ass brain.

Because of my last thought I chuckle slightly. Jokes that make you laugh by yourself are best. But then, suddenly, my door swings open, making me froze in my gestures.

Everything goes so fast, that I can't process a thing. Beomgyu runs towards me, making me fall on my bed with my back, smashing his lips against mine. He hovers above me, letting me no time to think nor to breath.

But as a drop of cold liquid drops on my cheek, my mind went clear again. I turn Beomie and me, so that I'm above him and can see right in his teary eyes. But I'm relieved when I see a genuinely smile is on his face.

"God, don't scare me like that!" He giggles and I can't resist his cuteness, so I peck his lips again. And again. And maybe I did it again after that too.

But it's not me to blame, he won't stop giggling. And we all can agree when I say a giggling Beomgyu is irresistible.

Eventually, after a few more pecks, kisses, and cuddles, I let the boy out of my embrace and get off of my bed, not before patting his head a last time. All the thoughts and complaints are forgotten.

"I have to pack a last few things. Wanna help?" I ask him and receive an excited nod.

But he wasn't as helpful as I hoped. Actually, this was predictable. Instead of helping me to fold and pack my clothes, he sneakily grabbed two of my hoodies to keep them for himself.