Running from the shadows

Headlines

Chapter 11

I woke up and asked Siri for a small favor; "Siri please play SZA's I hate you"

I took a shower then went through my clothes, but decided on a robe because I wasn't in the mood to dress up. I went to make myself some tea, I think Siri hates me because 20 Something by SZA filled the silence in the kitchen. I told myself to just sing along and now take the lyrics to heart. I called Hlela with my second phone and she picked up after the first ring;
Me" Mommy to be"
Hlela" That's me"
" Are you still coming to the baby shower?"
Me" Pope still Catholic?"
Hlela" Are you bringing that asshole"
Me" Well he's my baby daddy mngani"
Hlela" I know people kwa Langa that can stab him 30 times and hide the body"
Me" Say hahaha so I know you are joking"
Hlela" No"
Me" Say sike"
Hlela" I'll beat his ass up mna"
Me" Hahaha calm down karate kid. I can fight my own battles. Our vacation gave me time to think and if I am being honest with myself; I love Xhanti, I loved who he was before I found out he's an ass and I want sharks to eat him while he sleeps but I want my daughter to have a father in her life because Mhla has Sizwe and I had two dads growing up. I don't know Hlela but I just want to believe that there's more to our story than this"
Hlela" Fine, I'll smack you twice and stab him because you are both dumb and delusional"
" I believe you want to hold on to some twisted fairytale but Xhanti isn't it babe"
Me" I love you and I will see you soon"
Hlela" I love you too and just know Langa and I will always welcome you in our home. Think of it as your asylum"
Me" Hahaha thank you baby, don't forget to let my domestic starts today kuwe. Treat her like the queen she is"
Hlela" I am only a monster to my friends"
Me" Hahaha I actually believe that"

Xhanti walked in while I was typing on my laptop, I know it's a reach but I think he wanted to talk but he wasn't sure what will happen if he apologizes. Or not apologize but just try to be civil.
Me" I am in a meeting"
I said without looking away from my laptop, he nodded then went to the espresso machine standing there looking at me. It was hard to focus on what I was doing because I could feel his eyes.
"What?"
I asked
Xhanti" Is your camera on?"
Me" Yes"
Xhanti" Okay"
I unmuted my meeting then carried on, he left me to work. I finished an hour later, I went back to the kitchen because I was starving. He was in the kitchen but on a call, I made myself a salad then poured apple juice for myself.
" I need you today"
He said walking towards me and I took a few steps back.
Me" What should I wear?"
One thing about me, I will always put my children first. Bean will not suffer due to my stress, I will be happy until I give birth.
Xhanti" We are visiting a children's hospital so I don't know"
Me" Okay, I'll go change"
Xhanti" Khensani, can we talk?"
Me" No"
I walked away taking my food with me, I locked my room. I ate then raided my luggage for something to wear. I wore a beige lace dress with Jimmy Choo Maisel 100 embellished leather sandals. I decided to wear my transparent Tulle trench coat and a black Hermès bag to put my flats because these heels were going to kill me. I did my make up which I release I should have started with it, then fixed my Siya Kolisi Afro by just putting hair food because I wasn't about to comb this mess. I unlocked my door and he was standing in the hallway looking nervous, he stared at me and I honestly don't wanna lie, I love him.
"Fuck"
He said then cleared his throat, I walked in front of him. He called his driver to tell him that we won't need him, I didn't say a word. I waited him to bring the car around and he just had to take the Maserati that reminded me of the first time he picked me up from the airport.
Xhanti" Should I put the air-con on?"
Me" Yes please"
In the car we listened to Lloyiso's Dream about you. The ride was less painful because he didn't try to make small talk, even when we arrived at the hospital I was shocked that he didn't pretend like we were madly in love. With us there were a few people, his spokesperson, assistant and deputy. We saw a few children, and I didn't know that they were opening a new wing hence all these people were here. I saw the current president and his wife, Xhanti led and I followed. We took photos with two children, I excused myself because I was dehydrated. His assistant was chatting with him when I returned, clearly they have slept together because you can tell she is acting like a jealous ex and he's assuring her of something. I didn't walk to their side, I went to the library and found more kids there. I am sure it wasn't part of my tour, but I offered to read for them. I was making sounds and mimicking how the animals would sound, Mhla loves it when I read like that and I guess these children did too. Because they were laughing and making sounds just like me. A nurse interrupted me because they needed to go back to bed. I hugged them then went to look for Xhanti, who seemed to be looking for me too.
"Where were you?"
He asked, he looked worried which was actually surprising. I guess he thought I left him and went home.
Me" Made new friends"
The baby kicked, I smiled, Then took Xhanti's hand because he hasn't experienced the kicks. He giggled and she did it again, he held my stomach with both hands. She continued to kick then she stopped.
Me" She's tired"
Xhanti" Does she do that all the time?"
Me" Yea, especially when I want to sleep"
Xhanti" Please tell me when she does it"
Me" Okay"
His spokesperson interrupted our awkward conversation, Xhanti excused himself. He said was speaking with the other people and the current president, I grabbed a chair because my feet were finally killing me. I was about to take off my shoes when he sat next to me.
Xhanti" I asked Palesa to get you some ice"
He gave me a cup of ice, then took my foot and put it on his leg. I was so confused but he took off my shoes.
"Did you bring flat shoes?"
I nodded and pointed to my bag, he took out my Yeezy slides then giggled.
Xhanti" These things are ugly"
Me" Hahaha whatever, you have no style"
Xhanti" Because I don't wear silly shoes?"
We both laughed, he helped me get up then we went to say our goodbyes to everyone because I was tired and he needed to take me home.
Xhanti" Want some food?"
Me" I will have pizza"
Xhanti" I'll tell Palesa to bring it to the house, your feet are swollen"
Me" It happens"

#

The following day my phone ringing woke me up, it was my mother FaceTime and I suddenly regret the day she learned how to use her phone.
Me" Mama it's so early"
Mom" It's 10 am! And did you see the newspaper?"
Me" You literally just woke me up"
Mom" Well you made it to the front page and page 3, Hewethu! hay sana the things being said about you"
Me" Yhoo! Not again, what did I do now?"
Mom" No, this is good. I am proud of the person that you are"
"Khensani soon to be Mali won the hearts of many at Nelson Mandela's Children Hospital"
Me" That's what is says?"
Mom" Yes and there's pictures of you and Xhanti holding your stomach they assume the baby was kicking because of the excitement on his face. And a photo of him holding your heels"
Me" Wait, nothing negative?"
Mom" Absolutely nothing and your Dad and I were probably wrong about him. But Kenny we were just looking out for you. Call me later"
Me" Will do, need to pee"
Mom" Are you coming home for Mhla's birthday"
Me" Yes, why would I miss that?"
Mom" Its on the same day as the elections"
Me" No, that doesn't change anything"
Mom" Okay, we will talk later"
I went to brush my teeth, then wore sweat pants with a hoodie and Uggs. Xhanti was watching tv when I walked out and seeing my face on tv was something I will never get used to.
Me" Did you plan this?"
" Please don't lie"
Xhanti" I didn't plan anything, I swear on my father's grave. Whoever took the video of you reading the book isn't part of my team because I told my team to keep you away from journalists. That was our agreement. This is really not me"
Call me naive but I actually believed him.
" You were amazing, and I know all this because my friend Khaya called me to watch the news. Not a single person from my team knew that you would be part of the headlines"
Me" Okay"
"Can I take your car to visit my brother?"
Xhanti" Your little brother is here?"
Me" No, I have a brother from my biological father. Eric, and he stays in Protea Glen"
Xhanti" Yea, I need to catch up on some sleep anyway"
Me" I'll see you later"
Xhanti" Thank you"
Me" I didn't do it for you"