Running from the shadows

Essential oils

Chapter 20

After my day with Sizwe, I went back home to cook for Xhanti's bodyguards. We were all going out for supper with Xhanti's friends, and I know they won't eat because they'll be outside the entire time. By the time Ntlanga and Xhanti got home, I was done cooking. He looked at me and I smiled;
Me" Get Gregg and everyone else babe, I cooked for them. They can dish up for themselves"
Xhanti" You can cook?"
Me" I cook, I cook for you all the time when you are not cooking for me hahaha"
Xhanti" Nice save"
" Quick shower before we go?"
Me" And outfit change"
Xhanti" Why?"
Me" Because we both know we are invited for a photo op, they are your donors and they will probably want us to be circus clowns for them"
Xhanti" Woah, ucinga siyaphi?"
Me" Your friend's place"
Xhanti" Why are we clowns for my friends?"
Me" Because they donated to your campaign"
Xhanti" Hans and Lexie donated but we are not clowns for them. And we are joining Ludwe and Kefilwe for supper"
"You are never keen to hangout with my friends and I always hangout with yours"
Me" This is about to turn into an argument"
Xhanti" No, just an observation"
Me" Well you are wrong but my response will warrant an argument. So masiyeke"
"Masambe"
Xhanti" Nah, hlala"
Me" Are you being serious?"
Xhanti" Goodnight Khensani"

21:00
Fell asleep
23:40
Checked my phone and walked around the apartment. Went back to bed.
03:40
Fell asleep
06:57
Ntlanga woke me up and his Dad? We'll still not back. I fought back the tears and got up to make my son his scrambled eggs with fried zucchini .
Ntlanga" Ndibize uTata?"
Me" He's not here"
Ntlanga" He's sleeping on the floor in the bathroom"
Me" Eat and I'll go wake him up"
I never use the main bathroom because I have my own. So I wouldn't have known to check in there, that's why I say if someone would break in my home, they can hide in the bathroom and they would succeed.

I pushed the door and he was inside the tub, it smelled like a tarven and old cigarettes.
"Xhanti"
I said kicking his feet, he opened one eye and then closed them again. I kicked him again.
"Khavuke! Your son wants to have breakfast with you!!"
I kicked him and he opened both eyes.
Xhanti" Ndiyeza"
Me" Shower! You stink"
Xhanti" Okay"
" Please charge my phone"
Me" Iphi?"
Xhanti" Ina"
He handed me his phone, I took it and went to charge it in the kitchen. Now, iPhones have a habit of switching themselves on when you charge them and well I did something I haven't done in my life and snooped through his phone.

I searched keywords  like "Airbnb" "I am outside" "book for us" or "Flight". Nothing came up. So I decided to search "pregnancy". Messages came flooding! But one stood out, his chat with Zolisa (his best friend)
Zolisa" Is she pregnant"
Xhanti" I don't know but I know what I will lose if she is"
Zolisa" You'll be the president with scandals"
Xhanti" No. I mean Sunny, I have fucked up so much and I know what comes next. So I can't have that"
These are old because this was when him and I were not on good terms. So I scrolled down to the most recent texts and I found what I was looking for. These were from yesterday.
Zolisa" Uthini?"
Xhanti" Nothing. Didn't tell her"
Zolisa" Because you know it's a bad idea"
Xhanti" Jonga ndiyeza, I have cigars. If I am about to resign as President to save my marriage, might as well get drunk first before sending the email"
Zolisa" Let's go to Gentleman's club , Lelethu cooked for you and your wife. Madam is pissed that anizi, meet me there in 15 minutes"
Xhanti" I'll send some champagne, but Sunny has a stomach bug and obviously a cheating husband that might be having a baby"
Zolisa" Uyikaka. Later"
I went out of his messages, let his phone charge and made myself coffee. Being more confused about our union even more than I was at first.

#

The rest of the day Xhanti and I barely spoke, I wanted to say something but I couldn't get myself to say it.
"Hey, I am flying out tonight for that STEM thing in PE. I booked Ntlanga a flight too, thought would be fun to visit your mother and take her out for supper"
I said and he looked up from his laptop.
Xhanti" That's cool"
Me" How's your week looking?"
Xhanti" Just a lot of reading"
Me" Tag along please"
Xhanti" Can't, I have a meeting tomorrow morning"
Me" Should I call Lersa to babysit for us, then we do date night?"
Xhanti" You go and I'll stay"
Me" Are you okay?"
Xhanti" Yea, I will look after Ntlanga. Go with your friends"
Me" I miss you"
Xhanti" I am here"
Me" No, I mean you. Not half of you. But all of you"
Xhanti" I don't know what to say"
Me" Anything is better than this right here. Are you angry about yesterday? Then say so because you are literally just here and not saying anything"
Xhanti" I am not angry"
Me" Then what?"
Xhanti" Nothing. Am I not allowed to keep quiet?"
Me" I am calling Lersa and we are going out"
Xhanti" No. I am off to bed"
Me" Xhanti"
Xhanti" I am tired Khensani"
Me" Of me?"
Xhanti" Not everything is about you"
Me" Talk to me"
Xhanti" Not tonight"
He grabbed his car keys and that was it, I called Hlela to come fetch Ntlanga. I didn't explain why and thank the Lord she didn't ask.

Xhanti returned from wherever after I sent him a message saying "Come home". And he actually did. I was in a robe and running a bath for us, candles were already lit and I poured 5 drops lavender, 4 drops chamomile and 3 drops of frankincense oils.  He stood by the door watching me and I smiled at him.
Me" Take off your clothes"
Xhanti" For a bath?"
Me" With me"
" Please"
He took off his clothes and he got in the water, I took off my robe then sat behind him.
Me" I love you. I love everything about you even the things that get on my last nerve"
I scrubbed his back, kissing his back and shoulders in between.
" You don't get to shut me out. We are partners"
Xhanti" I have a lot on my mind "
Me" Off load some of those things to me"
Xhanti" I will but this I have to deal with alone"
Me" Am I losing you?"
Xhanti" No"
" I am sorry for making you feel that way"
Me" I want another child"
Xhanti" Me too babe, but we have a lot going on now and the timing is off"
Me" Did you see her yesterday?"
Xhanti" No"
Me" I don't want to share my husband"
Xhanti" You're not sharing me, the baby isn't mine. I got the results but hate even telling you that because it's also another dark cloud hanging above our marriage"
Me" Just don't do it again and that cloud won't hang above us. Like yesterday when I thought you didn't come back, I automatically thought you were cheating"
Xhanti" I was hurt by what you said yesterday. I feel like your needs are waaaay more important than mine and I don't think you know this but I also have friends. They would also love to hangout with you, we are always with your people, mine just happen to be in the public eye but they are still just as important to me as your friends are to you"
Me" I hear you but I feel like yesterday was just a misunderstanding. I thought we were going to a braai with a potential donor"
Xhanti" You could have asked"
Me" And I am sorry"
Xhanti" Yea"
Me" Let's get out of this water because it's cold"
I grabbed a towel then warned him the oils will make the floor slippery. We were laughing, had the most awesome sex and spent the rest of the night cuddling.
Me" Are you running for the second term?"
Xhanti" No"
Me" Why?"
Xhanti" Because you hate my job and the attention"
Me" No. I love being married to the President of South Africa. I just hate sharing you with the rest of the country but I am proud of you Xhanti. Resign from those duties because it's what you want to do not because of me or because you think it will make our marriage better. I love you and I am staying, and I hope you continue doing what you love knowing that I fully support you Mr President"