Running from the shadows

Questions part 2

Chapter 13

Elections were 3 weeks away and I was a month away from giving birth. Xhanti and I were at this weird point of both our lives. We were broken up obviously because after our argument at Hlela's home I knew I didn't want any part of his life but I wanted to be with him. I wanted him without the drama though, I just wanted pure love. And I know I am naive to believe that he is capable of giving me that but I believe Xhanti loves me and that we will someday find ourselves back in each other's lives. We just taking a much needed break.
" Mom"
I forgot to mention Mhla is also here for his school holiday. We canceled his party because I could give birth any minute so I didn't want to ruin the day for him.
Me" Hello my boy"
Mhla" Are you crying?"
Me" Mommy is just stressed but I am fine. Are you okay?"
Mhla" Should I fetch mommy her grape juice?"
I giggled because he was offering to fetch me wine. I hated even that I am such a mess in front of my son that he thinks alcohol will somehow solve it.
Me" Oh no, do you want to watch tv with me?"
Mhla" I wanted to ask if Dad is fetching me tomorrow"
Me" You are staying here until the holidays end"
I couldn't miss the disappointment in his eyes. I guess Mhla is really growing up and he wants to be around other children. And now I am 36 weeks pregnant so there's no way I can drive to Hlela's house because he loves it there. Also it would be selfish of me to expect Hlela and Langa to look after Mhla seeing that their new born just arrived a week ago.
Me" Should I call uncle Eric and ask him if we can visit him?"
Mhla" Can we Mommy?"
My brother has children, but now I have so much admin to get through just arranging this. Meaning I have to call Xhanti.
Me" Go pack"

He sprinted out of the room and I called Sizwe first but he didn't pick up so I texted him;
" So Mhla and I might go to Jo'burg because he's bored apha. Eric already agreed, hope you don't mind. I can't do anything with him because I am too pregnant. Also he will finally meet Xhanti because I can't drive him around, we will be at Xhanti's home. Please get back to me"
They didn't know that Xhanti and I were not okay, I wanted to keep it that way nam. However I did need to update him where his son is concerned. I called Xhanti and he picked so fast that I was really shocked;
"Is the baby fine?"
He asked and I smiled
Me" Yea, she's still good. I wanted to ask you for a favor"
Xhanti" What's wrong?"
Me" Mhla is here and he wants us to visit Eric, so I wanted to ask if we can stay with you"
Xhanti" Yes"
Me" With Mhla"
Xhanti" Yes, what do you need me to do?"
Me" Nothing, I just need to book our flights. My brother will get us from the airport"
Xhanti" Don't, sungxama. I wanna make a call. What time are you planning on leaving?"
Me" Well Mhla is busy packing that's how much he wants to get out of here"
Xhanti" Give me 3 hours, I'll send a car to your place"
Me" Xhanti"
" I might give birth there"
Xhanti" I know you don't trust me, but I am prepared"
" I'll see you xa ufika"
Me" Later"
Xhanti" I love you"
Me" Please don't say that "
Xhanti" I have no reason to lie"
We both didn't say anything for a while, the silence was comfortable and I knew what he was saying without saying anything. I don't know how to explain this moment but during our silence I knew I wanted Xhanti next to me when I give birth and I wanted to spend to marry him, I wanted him to have a relationship with Mhla. Most of all, I wanted trust him again.
Me" Okay"
Xhanti" Sunny, I have to go but I can't wait to see you"

I have never been in a private jet, I was shocked that Xhanti pulled this off and I needed to know who this friend of his is, and how can he afford to sponsor an entire private jet.
Mhla" Where's everyone else Mom?"
I giggled
Me" It's just us"
Mhla" Alone?"
Me" Yes"
Mhla" Why?"
Me" Ask Uncle Xhanti when you see him?"
Mhla" I will, because what if they have to visit their families?"
I really wanted to laugh but I love how concerned he really was about everyone else.
Me" Soon baby, then we shout at him together"

Obviously when we landed my brother was waiting for us, he drove us straight to Xhanti's place because he's been there before. And to my surprise Xhanti was actually home, I could tell he was nervous about meeting Mhla because he stood there just staring at us. But my son quickly broke the awkward silence and asked about why he didn't let other people in the plane. We all started laughing and just like that the awkwardness was gone.
Eric" So we are leaving"
Me" Thank you so much big bro, I really appreciate it"
Eric" We will call you tomorrow but no promises because the crew and I will be at Gold Reef"
Mhla" Don't call us Mommy"
Xhanti and I laughed, Mhla was just ready to go. They left and it was just Xhanti and I.
Me" I am off to take a bath"
Xhanti" Really? Can't even pretend to want to be on the same room as me?"
Me" I am tired, this isn't about you"
Xhanti" Don't buy that"
Me" Wasn't selling it"
Xhanti" Wanna go on a date with me?"
Me" Okay"
Xhanti" I have to run a quick errand, then I'll come back and fetch you"
Me" No where fancy. I really don't have the energy to dress up nor do I have the clothes"
Xhanti" Wear whatever you want. I just want to go on a date with you"
Me" Okay"
Xhanti" Ndiyeza ke"

It was hot as hell, and when Xhanti returned I was still in a robe trying to find something to wear. He was wearing blue ripped jeans, a white tshirt and a white Airforce 1.
Xhanti" What's wrong?"
He looked so fucken hot!!!! That's what's wrong.
Me" Nothing, just looking for something to wear"
Xhanti" Okay, we can stay in, if that will make you more comfortable"
Me" No, we can go. I'll be quick"
I finally decided on a dusty pink wrap tshirt dress and Yeezy boost 700 sneakers. Just brushed my weave and took my bag then went to the living room.
Xhanti" You look beautiful"
Me" Thank you"
Xhanti"Want me to grab you a jacket for later?"
Me" Nope, I will just wear yours"
We both laughed, eventually left. He was chatty because I kept on asking him questions about his campaign.
Me" Siyaphi?"
Xhanti" Got us a private chef and he's preparing a 3 course meal. Didn't think you'd want to be seen in public"
I love him!!!
Me" Thank you"
Xhanti" Can I ask you something?"
Me" Shoot"
Xhanti" Should I give up on us? Or just give up on us. I mean I don't mind the coparenting. I however feel like we didn't get the chance and that's my fault. I'll admit but you are here, with a maternity bag and I really want to believe that means you want to give birth this side and well, yeah I just want to know because you are giving me mixed signals. I want to kiss you and fuck you senseless, I just want more than just mixed signals and on and off things"
"Should I give up?"