Talking to myself- YeonBin

Chapter 49- Not my place

YEONJUN POV

I left Soobin upstairs, his little episode still running through my head as I made it to the kitchen. I bought myself over to the kitchen cupboard, the one that fell down that day. The one that killed Soobin's mother.

I didn't have any intention of looking at it that way, I simply wanted a glass but the image of her body lifeless on the floor was all I could see as I took one of the newly bought glasses off of the replaced shelves.

It made my spine shiver.

Sometimes I wonder how he can still come into this room after that evening. You'd think he would be practically traumatised by the place. I know I would be but he seems to be completely alright with it. I know he works slightly different to other people, the medication he is on could also act as a tranquiliser for him so I dont see it as anything concerning.

I moved on as quickly as I could, reaching down to a bottle rack with only a few lonesome bottles left.

A bottle of Beolddeok ju rice wine, a bottle of Jinro soju, a bottle of Persimmon wine and ginseng wine. These were clearly left by Soobin's mother.

Nothing took my fancy, I don't even know why I was looking at alcohol. I don't drink.

I gazed my eyes around to the counter, a smaller bottle placed in the corner. As I read the lable it became apparent that it was a fruit drink. Finally something normal. I poured the liquid into the glass placed upon the counter. My eyes widened as I saw the colour.

Red.

Again memories of Soobin's dead mother flooded my head once again

I feel like something is trying to show itself to me but I just can't see it. I sipped on the liquid as I sat upon the kitchen stools, staring into absolutely nothing.

"I said I knew everything?" I asked myself as I sat back, still sipping on the strongly flavoured juice. The taste wasn't really that pleasant, it burned the back of the throat and made my eyes wince but I continued anyhow.

"I knew everything," I repeated. What even was there for me to know. Soobin came clean about his medication, he reappeared into my life, there's nothing else I feel like I don't know.

Eventually I got bored of sitting in my own company. I had never really looked around Soobin's house so maybe now is my chance.

I stood up and took myself into the living room. My My first time in this room wasn't exactly pleasant so I made sure to leave promptly. There was a cupboard below the stairs and small paintings on the grey walls of the thin corridors.

Now that I got to appreciate this place properly my mind seemed to settle. I don't want to worry about Soobin too much. He's told me not to and I don't want to be a bother. I just need to make sure he's okay.

I went back into the kitchen, pushing the stool I once sat on underneath the counter. I gazed at the room and was just about to leave when I spotted a curtain I had never looked at before.

It was red in colour, like that of a fine wine. I wandered over to it curiously. I had never once seen what laid out the back of Soobin's house.

I slipped the curtain to the side and peered through the glass door that stood behind it.

It was mostly dark making not much was visible but from what I could see there were a few flowers iced over and a table and chair set to the far left.

When I looked over to the right I saw a shed-like building. It looked quite creepy, like one of those things you see in horror films that you find people dead in.

It's not really my place to go snooping around and as much as I want to I know I shouldn't.

Soobin wouldn't like that. He isn't exactly the most stable tonight so I don't want to do anything to potentially push him over the edge. I don't want him to think I don't trust him because I do

I trust him with my whole heart.

I slid the curtain back over the door and turned the light off, disappearing back into Soobin's room. Thankfully he was sound asleep like I expected him to be. Hopefully he just needs his rest and he'll be fine by tomorrow.

Just by looking at him I could tell he was tense even in his state of sleep. I laid beside him, running my hands over his shoulder.

"You're okay now" I said to him knowing I wouldn't get a response. His body relaxed slightly as if he had heard me.

I slipped myself down in the bed, cuddling up to my boyfriend, feeling his warmth heat me up. It was comforting that despite things that aren't perfect we can still be like this.

I would do anything for him, I don't want to see him struggle and I don't know why he does struggle with so many things because in my eyes

He hasn't done anything wrong

A/N

Sorry if this chapter seemed kinda short, it holds value for sure. I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

Votes and comments appreciated

Lots of love as alwaysssss <3

~Author C