Dave, known disaster bisexual, is in love with Marie. But Marie is dating Dean, the handsomest guy in town.
After being gifted a magical bracelet, Dave gains the ability to transform into a totally different person...Jade, a beautiful, alluring al...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Wait! You forgot something babe," Marie exclaimed dramatically.
"What is it babe?" Dean asked mischievously, playing along.
I sighed, deciding to take a step back from the two lovebirds.
Kill me now.
"You haven't said you love me yet!" Marie giggled.
"Oh, my bad! I love you," Dean replied cheekily. I began to contemplate ways to kill them, and then myself.
Maybe if I bash my head against the fire hydrant, the blast from the water will take him out too.
"Come down soon, I miss you!" Marie whined.
"I will, don't worry," Dean chuckled. "Oh, David! Did you want to say goodbye?"
"No, it's alright," I huffed, rubbing my arms together to stay warm.
"Oh, come on! Don't be a stranger," Dean grinned.
That's it, I am definitely going to kill him.
where r u? I furiously texted Leo. is valentina w u?
Yeah, sorry we ended up walking back with Valentina's friend. Hold on, he replied.
What the fuck do you mean hold on? HURRY UP! I'm dying out here because you're the one who abandoned me alone with this crazy brit! I grumbled, only partially joking.
"Is everything alright?" Dean asked, leaning over my shoulder and breathing on my neck. I flinched and launched myself a few steps forward, away from him.
"Yeah, everything's fine," I snapped, brushing myself off. "I think I'm gonna head back," I grumbled, shivering slightly.
"Oh! Are you cold?" Dean asked.
"Oh, no! Are you alright, Dave?" I heard Marie ask over the phone. I felt my face grow hot.
"No, I'm fine," I replied. "I just need to-"
"Here, you should wear my coat!" Dean insisted, then took off the outer part of his costume.
I balked. "No, there's no need for that," I stammered. "I'm warm, really. Just peachy."
"I insist," Dean exclaimed nobly. I raised an eyebrow, confused. Where's all this gentlemanly chivalry coming from? Don't you know I'm the one secretly plotting your downfall so I can steal your girlfriend?
"Um, okay," I hesitated, as he wrapped the coat around me. I began to feel a lot smaller and somewhat self conscious.
This is why you should have listened to me and drank more milk, I could hear Mom scolding me in the back of my brain. That is why you are stunted. And gay.
