A Love Triangle Most Unusual (Season 1)

Pumpkin Spice Soap and Apple Cider Vinegar Shots

"Oh hey, haven't seen you around here before. You new here?" Leo asked, winking flirtatiously.

I rolled my eyes as we both listened to Valentina gasp indignantly in the background. "How could you tell?" I replied, playing along reluctantly.

"Well well well," Leo smirked, raising his eyebrows. "Do you need someone to...show you around?"

I began to feel bad for Valentina. If we weren't "just guys," the amount of time that Leo spent flirting with me would probably be considered borderline disrespectful. "Maybe I do," I replied, mechanically flipping my skirt. That made Valentina snort with real laughter.

"Wooh," Leo replied gleefully. "Too bad I already have a girlfriend," he sighed dramatically, slinging his arm around Valentina and hugging her tightly. Just to let her know it was all a joke and that she would always be his number one princess, I supposed.

"Oh, now you guys decide to remember I exist," Valentina pouted. "But you do look nice in that dress," she added as an afterthought. "Are you supposed to be a character from a movie or something?"

I awkwardly adjusted the neckline, which usually fit me when I went out as a woman but looked way too small on Dave. It forced me to hunch my shoulders slightly in order for it to fit properly. "Um, nobody in particular. Just.. Girl Dave, I guess."

"Girl Dave!" Valentina repeated. That made her laugh again. I laughed awkwardly too, hunching even more, as if doing so would make me disappear.  

Although I'm not huge on Halloween, Leo definitely is.  Every year that we've been roommates, we've thrown a friends' party, except for in 2020 (for obvious reasons).  It all started with one drunken, manic spree to the Dollar Tree, and it's only gotten worse since then. 

Our countertop was now covered in multicolored confetti, with flying witch and ghost paper streamers hanging from each corner of the kitchen.  Our animatronic vampire, Mr. Gurrad (named after our favorite chemistry teacher, who we joked about sucking the life out of all the students) was happily chanting vaguely threatening phrases from the bathroom.  A paper-mache mummy that Leo and I crudely fashioned ourselves was holding a bowl of candy corn sitting near the sink. Valentina had even bought some pumpkin spice-flavored soap, which we honestly appreciated more as a concept but used anyway.  

"People should be arriving in another thirty minutes.  I texted Gabs and she said they're almost here," Valentina exclaimed.  "Are my wings falling off?" She asked, turning towards Leo.  

"No, you look fine," Leo replied.  

I almost rolled my eyes at their incredibly basic couples costume concept, but to be honest I really wasn't one to talk.

"So, big fan of Halloween, huh?" he asked me. "I was half-expecting you to be wearing something crazy from what Valentina told me."

"Huh?"

"She said you've been planning your costume for almost two weeks now," he nodded at me. "Right?"

I felt some distant part of my brain unfreeze and click into place. "Oh. Yeah," I said quickly. "Yes, she found me folding some clothes a few weeks ago," I laughed nervously. "I just, you know, thought it'd be funny to go as a girl. So I ordered it a bit early."

"Wow, you must really love Halloween then," Leo said. "Unless...there's some other reason you bought a dress?" he asked playfully.

I froze. I could feel the sweat collecting at the back of my neck, cold and repulsive. Quick, think of something. I forced a loud laugh, and Leo grinned along with me.

When Valentina came back, I immediately peeled myself off the wall and stretched, trying to act like I'd just happened to find the dress in the one-dollar bin at Goodwill and decided to try it on as a joke. 

"You sure you don't wanna stay for the party?" Leo asked me, not breaking eye contact as Valentina grabbed his right arm and started to yank on it grumpily.

I shrugged. "I'll be back later," I replied.

"Okay, understandable-wait, what do you mean later?" Leo asked, ignoring Valentina's insistent tugs.

"I'm just gonna take a walk around first," I replied.

"Around where? The Ave?" Leo asked suspiciously. "It's especially dangerous on Halloween, you know. Even more so than it already is."

I laughed. "I'll be fine. I'm a guy."

Valentina froze. "No, guys get attacked all the time too," she said seriously. "It's because crimes against men are underreported, so guys think they're invincible and walk outside by themselves at night. Especially since you're dressed up like that," she added, nodding at my feet. "Do you need pepper spray? I can lend you mine if you need some," she insisted.

It took me a few seconds to figure out what to say. "Oh... thank you," I said, touched. "But I'm sure I'll be fine. I have a Taser."

"A Taser?" Leo asked, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.  "Can I test it?"

"Sure," I replied, indifferent.

"Yes!" Leo exclaimed. "Always wanted to see if I could stay standing after being shocked with one."

"You want to test it on yourself?" Valentina asked, scandalized.

"Why not? Everyone does."

"I don't!"

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

It's too bad I can't hang out with them unless I'm dressed as Dave. I'm sure they would be fun.

"It's okay, I'm just gonna grab something from the CVS up the street."

"Oh, okay," Valentina replied.  "Want us to go with you?"

"Yeah, we have thirty minutes, right? Plus traffic, I'm sure that's plenty enough time for us to get back before anyone else does," Leo added. 

I turned around, surprised.  I had expected both of them to want to stay back and be pleased at the thought of spending time, just the two of them.  

"You're not trying to run away from us, are you?" Leo smirked.  

I thought about it a bit.  You can always change into Jade later, I reminded myself.  "Yeah, sure, you can come along."