Dave, known disaster bisexual, is in love with Marie. But Marie is dating Dean, the handsomest guy in town.
After being gifted a magical bracelet, Dave gains the ability to transform into a totally different person...Jade, a beautiful, alluring al...
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I grumbled a bit, but over time I found that I was starting to enjoy myself.
Dean fit right in. He immediately befriended Valentina and all of her girl friends. I watched as they all listened to his crazy hiking stories and laughed at each one, including the moose one. Leo also seemed intrigued, and listened to the latter with rapt attention.
"Do you think that's realistically possible?" I asked, secretly hoping he might say no.
Leo shrugged. "We do have a lot of mooses up here in the Pacific Northwest," he replied simply.
I helped myself to the snack table, and was pleasantly surprised to find out our guests had also brought some food to share. There was the large bowl of heavily smoking, glowing green punch that Leo and I made using green apple jolly rancher vodka, tonic water, and dry ice. There were the pumpkin cheesecake cupcakes, which Dean had masterfully covered in perfect cream cheese frosting swirls. There was a giant gummy bear, which someone had brought as a party gift and nobody seemed interested in eating or taking home. There was also a bowl filled to the brim with crushed "dirt" Oreos and gummy worms and eyeballs, from which a witch and a zombie were eagerly scooping cupfuls as they chatted together. I scooted out of their way as they left together, clearly with the intention of making out somewhere.
"Hey, there's no toilet paper in the bathroom," Academy Award-winning actress Cher informed me. I nodded and followed her to the bathroom and showed her how our Amazon bidet worked. She seemed impressed, but still wanted to know where the rest of the toilet paper was. I dug some out and bid her good luck.
Once I returned, I was greeted with the sight of various monsters and villains dancing to Doja Cat. I weaved between them, dodging and thanking them for the compliments, and sat down on the couch exhaling heavily.
"Hey," Dean said. I jumped a little, then turned around.
"Oh," I sighed. "What's up?" He was cradling a cup of plain water, and I could see him rocking back and forth a little. He seemed anxious about something.
"Nothing!" he replied, overly cheerfully as always, and snapped back into position. "Have I ever told you about the time Marie and I went to Snoqualmie?"
"Oh-kay," I sighed, deciding to try and work with him just this once. "Listen, I don't know if this is something you've already heard, but not every minute needs to be filled with talk. You seem kinda tired, anyway."
Dean's shoulders froze. "How can you tell?" he asked, sounding completely different. Like he was even more tired beneath the facade than I was expecting.
"Well, you looked kinda like you wanted some alone time," I shrugged.
He looked down at the water in his hands and took a small sip. "Yeah, I guess," he replied, his voice a bit more relaxed.
I frowned. "Do you want something better to drink? If you don't like the punch, I can get you a bottle of-"
"No, no, it's okay," Dean stammered. "I uh, don't drink."
