The Boy I Once Knew | Cobra Kai Hawk/Eli

one day.

Imagine if this is happening to you. Imagine your life falling apart right in front of your eyes. But they aren't in my shoes. They aren't feeling the pain that I'm going through. They don't see the stuff that runs through my head.

They don't see what happens behind closed doors.

It's weird being 17 and thinking your life is over. Hell, I wouldn't even say weird is the right word. But then all of a sudden a certain surgery pops up and can automatically heal me.

"What are you thinking over there?" Johnny flicks his bottle cap at me.

"Oh...just the way of my life"

He rolls his eyes at me. They all think i'm joking but really i'm not. I haven't explained to any of them the way that i'm actually thinking.

When they hear about the surgery. They think, healed, fun, the pain is over.

But what I hear, pain, bed rest for weeks, still medications, and treatments. Yea some things may get better but not all. The pain after the surgery is gonna be bad. I'm not gonna be able to leave the hospital bed.

"Why do people care so much?"

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"What happens. I mean, it's my life. Eli hasn't talked to me in two days because he's worried about me leaving and him being by himself." I don't blame him for being worried but I need him right now. "No one's asked me how I feel about it. Damn people would call me selfish because I think like this."

"We all just want what's best for you Lillian"

"When did you get so soft?"

He laughs. "When did you get a heart?"

"Whatever man, i'm just saying that everyone is more worried about what will happened to them that if something bad did happen to me than how I would feel or what I'd do"

After going over the same questions and questions with johnny that we can't seem to get past. Because neither him or I know the answer. I grab my stuff and he drives me to Eli's house. I'm going to figure out why he won't talk to me. I haven't tried to texting him, which maybe I should but too late for that now.

I say bye and climb out of the car, slowly. taking each step one by one. I hesitate to knock on the door because what if he doesn't want to see me or what.

The door slowly opens and he appears. Hair out of the mohawk and everything. "Lillian? What are you doing here?"

"You haven't talked to me so I wanted to see what was wrong"

He has a confused look on his face. Like he has no idea what I'm talking about. "What do you mean" He sort of laughs. "We talked this morning"

"No, no we didn't. I would remember that"

His eyes go soft. "Babe. We face-timed last night and we texted this morning" He stops and reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone. "Look" He scrolls through out text messages. I look at the date. Today. It says I even responded back.

"No way" I shake my head.

"It's ok. Come here" I take his hand and he pulls me into a hug. His fingers stroke through my hair. "Memory lost is apart of it. It's all going to be ok"

I was so worried that he was ignoring me but it was just in my head. "I'm really sorry. I was so mad that you weren't talking to me but it was my fault."

"Hey, hey it's not your fault. It's ok" His voice starts to crackle a bit. I know he's crying, I can feel his tears drop onto my neck. God, I feel so bad.

"I'm really, really sorry Eli"

"Don't apologize. it's ok. Honest mistake. Here, come in and go to my bed. I'll make some popcorn and we can watch a movie. You can sleep over also if you'd like" I nod and make my way to his room.

The picture of both of us sitting on the beach is sitting on his night stand. I wish I could say I remember that day. But I don't.

I climb into his bed and under the covers. "Hey, so I burnt it-"

"Does it make you mad that I don't remember our dates" Holy shit, then it hits me. no way. No way. No way. I don't remember how I even met him.

He starts to look worried "What is it?"

Tears begin to roll down my face. "I forget how I even met you"

"Don't be upset. Maybe it will all come back to you after the surgery. And no it doesn't make me mad because it's not your fault. You didn't choose to have this happen to you. So don't feel bad about it" He demands. "Anyway, here's the burnt popcorn. If you don't like it I'll remake it or you can remake it" he laughs "You'll probably make it better than me anyway".

"It's ok. Can you just come here" He walks over and lays down next to me. I press my lips against his.

He laughs. "That's all you wanted? A kiss? Really" I nod. "I could give you a lot more" He teases.

I laugh. "I know I said I want our first time to be before I leave but I change my mind. I want it to happen after the surgery. I want to remember it"

"That's fine. I can make that happen"

"Oh my god, shut up" I laugh and pull him in for another kiss. My tongue slips into his mouth but then he pulls away until we're a couple of inches apart.

"I know I only saw you two days ago but I missed you"

I scoff. "What are you gonna do when i'm thousands of miles away."

"I have no idea. I can't kiss you when I want, you can't sleep over, I can't touch your face, or touch your hair. I can't complain because I can still see your beautiful face. But it's still not the same."

"Winter break. Look forward to winter break. It's not too far away"

"I know. But like I said. it's still not the same." I wrap my hand around his.

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

"About what?"

"The surgery. There's still a chance it won't work."

"Don't talk like that Lillian. It's going to work. Come on, you can't think like that either"

I ignore what I said because of his reaction. I don't want to start anything.

"Im sorry"

"Let's just forget about it. What do you want to watch?"

We end up putting shameless on. My favorite show. We're about two episodes in and I see him start to fall asleep.

"Hey, you can't fall asleep. We have to spend every second. It's our last night together"

"Shit, right. Our last night together".