inadequate

88 9 27
                                    

TW: mentions of death and suicidal thoughts.

~~

Tyler was blankly staring forward at the wall and picking at the loose strings coming undone at the bottom hem of his shirt. There wasn't much going on in his mind. His heart didn't beat fast, he didn't have tears running down his checks, he didn't even feel scared. He just sat there, pulling off the black string, sewn into the fabric of his shirt and discarding it on top of the white blankets without a thought.

"Tyler? Tyler?" A hand shook his shoulder. The mentioned blinked out of his trance. He stopped destroying his shirt and glanced carefully to his right to direct his attention to the man. "I've been saying your name for a whole minute!"

"Oh..." He spoke softly, brown eyes traveling to the short pieces of black string. "Sorry."

The man softened his demeanor. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"I'm fine, Josh." He said with a harsh undertone.

"...Do you want to talk about it?"

Tyler slowly returned his line of vision back to the same spot he was watching previously on the plain wall. He was strangely calm, almost numb. "What is there to talk about?"

Josh swallowed. He didn't know how to respond. A thick cloud of silence entered the room and Josh didn't know how to speak around it. So, he just stood there next to the bed as Tyler went back to tearing off the thread.

"Tyler?" Josh broke the never-ending silence.

"Yeah?" He croaked in response.

"...What are we going to do?"

"Nothing." He said coldly.

"Nothing?" Josh's voice cracked.

"I'm basically fucked, Josh."

The mentioned sighed, sitting down on top of the sheets. He wrapped arms around himself and shook his head. He struggled to talk to the floor. "I... I don't see how this is fair."

"Who the hell said it was fair?" Tyler spoke, neither of them looking at each other.

"I- No one..." He sighed. "This isn't how life should go."

"Oh, did I miss something?" Tyler sassed, titling his head at Josh. "Are you the one planning out my life?"

Josh looked at him like he was offended. "What's your deal?"

"What do you mean 'what's my deal'?"

"You're being rude."

"How the fuck am I supposed to act, Josh?"

"I don't know, but you keep pushing me away. Maybe I wanna talk about this."

"Maybe I need space."

"Space? From what?"

"You're help. I don't need your sympathetic help."

"Sympathetic help?"

"Yeah. Ever since I told you about my cancer you have been guarding me like a baby."

"What? I have not. I'm simply wanting to make sure you're okay. I'm doing it because I care about you. You're not a baby and I'm not treating you like one."

"You have. You never asked if I was okay everyday when we were just 'skateboard buddies'."

"So you're mad because I care about you? Do you hear yourself? Do you want me to ignore you? Is that what you want?"

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