His Secret

Chapter 13 - Dylan Anthony Fitzroy

Trigger Warning – Rape and abuse. If this topic makes you feel uncomfortable please skip this chapter or approach with caution. This is a safe space, any and all hate is removed. I love you 3000 all and stay safe

After all of the guests and SHIELD agents had left the compound, we were all left in living room. I was sat on the end of the couch with Bucky sitting one side of me, hugging me and once everyone had left my Dad joined me on the other side.

'Anya, what happened?' My Dad finally speaks up.

'You know what happened you were there like the rest of us?' I know exactly what he means but maybe he will change the subject

'You know what I mean. You don't have to tell me now' Dad puts his hand on my shoulder and gives me a reassuring smile.

'It is ok, I can talk about it' I take a deep breath

'Babe you don't have to' Bucky holds me hand tighter

'I want to, I like to talk about him, it is just hard' I take another long, deep breath to give me the confidence to reminisce on these petrifying and gut-wrenching memories. 'I had been in HYDRA for about 3 months and they had everything bad possible to me, or so I thought. They had tortured, tested, and tormented me so much, I didn't think they could do anymore or that I could last anymore.

'Anyway, one night, Rumlow came into my cell and asked me questions about the Avengers and I didn't know anything about you guys and to be fair I still don't know a lot. He kept beating me trying to get information out of me I didn't know and I remember him saying 'I know something that will get you talking' and he ... um ... he raped me. He did it a couple of times, I always said no but it didn't stop him. He wouldn't know what no meant even if it was tattooed on his forehead. Anyway, every week they would do a medical to make sure that all of your vital organs were still working after the rigorous beating but I found out I was pregnant. I was so happy but so sad at the same time. I was happy because I was having a baby and I have always wanted to be a Mom. On the other hand, I was so sad because I knew that there was a high chance that neither me nor the baby would survive.

'7 months later, I went into labour and had my health little boy. I named him Dylan, it means Hope and he was my little ray of hope, Dylan Anthony Fitzroy. When I had given birth to him, I put him in a cot in my cell and I went to sleep that night, he was a picture of health, breathing and beautiful. The next morning, I woke up and he was not moving and he was blue. I knew that he was gone and I couldn't do anything about it. I shouted for guards to help me save him but they just took him away. That is why I became a Doctor so I could save people or babies like Dylan. The guards told me he had died and 'I needed to suck it up'. However, I couldn't suck it up because he is my son and I know they had something to do with it. I can't prove it but he was so healthy that night after I gave birth to him. I shouldn't have gone to sleep that night. After that, I never saw him again. He would be 7 tomorrow; I have never stopped thinking about him. Sometimes, I think what he would look like now. He definitely had your nose, Dad, definitely the Stark nose and I miss him like mad.' I break down slightly tears in my eyes, I grab hold of Bucky and my Dad like I am about to take off. 'So, now you know about what happened?'

'Anya, I am so sorry' My Dad engulfs me in a giant hug that makes me feel safe and calm.

'It is ok, it is no one's fault. It is only HYDRA's fault. You know the worse of it, after I came out of HYDRA, I got checked over at the hospital and they said due to the shear amount of bruising and lacerations on the inside and outside of my body, there is a high chance that I won't be able to have kids again. They did say it was possible but it would be a miracle. So, not only did they take away my son, but they also took away any other chance of having another child. HYDRA ruined my life.'

I break down in my Dad's arms. I feel numb, they took everything away from me and they walked away from it free and healthy while I am still suffering from everything, they inflicted on me. I look up at see the other Avengers all with tears in their eyes. Steve, Sam and Bruce looked stunned and emotional. Wanda and Nat look at me with empathy and love in their eyes, over the last couple of weeks they have been like my sisters that I never had. Uncle Rhodey, Pietro, and Clint who are sitting next to each other, have their heads down and look angry and hurt. Bucky puts his arm on my shoulder, he knows how hard it is for me to talk about what happened to Dylan. He is so understanding about it all, he feels guilty about Dylan's death as he thinks he could have helped but there was nothing any of us could do. Even if I had stayed awake all night, Hydra would have found a way to hurt Dylan. One thing I have learnt is that if Hydra want something they will stop at no end to get it

'It is going to be ok. I promise they will never hurt you again. Nothing is going to happen to you because I won't let it. I am really sorry about what happened to Dylan but we will never forget him. Even though, he was taken too soon, he will always be your son and will always be with you in your heart.' My Dad says smiling at me with tears in his eyes. 'I love you, Dad'

'I love you too, kid. I will always be here for you'

'I am sorry for what happened' I feel so guilty, I didn't mean to drag them into this.

'You never need to apologise. None of this is your fault. Those sick, twist pricks did this to you' Sam says with angry laced him voice

'Sam is right, babe. How about we head to bed so you can get some well needed rest' Buck gives me a loving smile. 'I would like that'

'Come on then.' I stand up holding Bucky's hand and look back at the Avengers, my family sitting down. 'Goodnight. Thank you, guys'

'What for?' Nat asked slightly confused

'For listening and not judging. It means more than you will ever realise' I give them a genuine smile

'We are always here for you. You are one of us know, Anya. We are family, granted a dysfunctional one but a family nevertheless and we stick together' Clint says.

'Thanks, Clint. Goodnight' they all say night back as Buck and I go upstairs to bed. I has been a long day and can't wait for it to be over.

Tony's POV

I am shocked. I can't believe what has just happened. My daughter, my little girl was in pain and I never knew. I understand why she didn't tell people but I just don't know what to think. Luckily Rhodey starts talking pulling me out of my thoughts, 'I am so sorry, Tony. I know that was hard for you'

'Not as hard as it was for Anya' She must be going through hell. 'When I thought I couldn't hate HYDRA anymore something else happens' Bruce says with anger in his eyes

'I know it is ridiculous' Sam says shaking his head

'I am going to go to bed' I declare standing up. 'Ok, if you need anything let us know' Clint offers a kind smile

'I will thanks, guys' I turn to leave but Nat's voice makes me turn back around 'Oh and Tony, none of that was your fault, ok. Don't blame yourself' I know she is right but I can help but think it is all my fault.

'Thanks Nat. Goodnight everyone'. They all say goodnight as I leave to my go my room. I can't wait for the end of this day