Streetlife

13-Please! Stop!

LENA POV

"I don't need no nutritionist, Lena. I eat just fine. Besides, that shit costs money," Tess says as we sit together at our little kitchen table and she lights a smoke.

She had been so much on edge, but I knew all too well why and I had been trying all afternoon to get her to just give her body a break from all the drugs. But she was growing more agitated by the minute, and I was trying to think of all different ways to calm her.

"Tess-"

"I said, no. I'm good. I'm not underweight, or underfed, or whatever the fuck he said. AND I will ice my fucking ankle. But you, as well as I, know I can't stay off it.  I can't, Len. I told you I'm in enough shit as it is with that man and I can't be in no more," she shakes her head as she nervously lights another smoke, and I reach over and gently grab her hand.

"Then will you go to rehab?" I say as she looks at me with so much sass, I knew she was pissed.

"Re what?"

"Rehab, Tess."

"What? You been talking to big mouth Julius! I don't need rehab. I'm fine!" Tess spits out as I sigh softly.

"You really aren't. You use a lot, Tess."

"I don't. I use for fun and to get through hookin. Nothing more. I could quit right now if I wanted to!" Her face is red with anger as I try my best as I knew this was a very delicate situation.

"Tess, I'm not judging you honey, I care about you. I do and you are the sister I never, ever had. But I'm so worried about you, sweetheart. I worry about you all the time. I promise that I'm not judging you, okay?"

"Oh, don't patronize me, Lena! I don't need it! You, of all people, know me! You know me! You know what I go through! You know that I'm no junkie whore! You know what I go through, and you know me!!!!!" She screams now as my chest tightens as I knew that I was going about all of this wrong. I wish I had Julius to back me up...even Callie, but not Frank for he was another one I was worried about, big time and he was already on edge since he needed to pick up his little sister today.

"I'm not patronizing you, Tess. I'm really not, and I don't know how to prove to you how much I do care! I'll talk to Warbucks. I'll...I'll tell him to lay off, and I'll tell him to take from my pay until you're better. I just want you to get better. Hell, I want you to be able to get out of this lifestyle! I see what it's doing, and I..."

"Just STOP! STOP IT!!!!! STOP, LENA! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! You'll make it worse! You can't talk to him! He'll kill me for sure! He will! He'll KILL ME!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And he will kill you!! You can't just talk to him how you want! I did that and look where it got me!!" She is screaming and shaking now as both her hands are on either side of her face as it turns beat red, and I sit here, frozen on what to say next as she continues to shake and cry hysterically now. "But you're different. He loves how you look so, so it would be different. You could say anything to him!!! ANYTHING and he'd not hurt you like he did me!!"

"Tess, I..."

"No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screams even louder as I stand to my feet and kneel in front of her as I gently grab her hands.

"I'm having a....attack!!!!!!!!! I NEED A FUCKING HIT!! NOT because I'm no addict but because I need to calm myself from this SHIT!" She hollers then screams at the top of her lungs over and over as Julius runs into the room, soaking wet from the shower. I had no earthly clue he was even home as a towel was around his head and his robe, haphazardly tied around him.

"Good lord in heaven above!!!!!!!!!! Who's being murdered????? Where's the fire? Someone call the police!!!!!!!!!!" He screeches as he runs around the room opening the blinds and curtains, and I jump to my feet and hold up my hands.

"Oh my god! I didn't even know you were home! Chill, Julius! We don't need your hysteria, too!"

"Well, it sounded like someone was being murdered by a hatchet or the house was burning to the ground! Where's my sage??????" He looks around as I look towards Tess, and she has her head down as her shoulders are shaking while she is crying softly now.

"I don't know where your damn sage is," I say rougher than I intend as I move to wrap my arms around Tess as she moves to cry on my shoulder, hugging me back.

"I'm sorry, Lena," she sobs quietly as I rub her back. "I'm so sorry!"

"Shhhh. It's okay. I love you, Tessy," I say softly as I smell smoke and look up to see Julius waving his sage brush around our heads.

"What? I need all of these evil spirits gone! No more screaming fits making me burn my ass while I showered! I was terrified we were being robbed!" Julius keeps waving his brush as I reach up and snatch it from him. "And I should have stayed hidden but I remembered my grandma's jewels in the freezer!"

"There are no evil spirits, Julius! And your jewels are fine! Really! Just stop!" I snap again as he straightens his robe, his cheeks flushed now as his towel is falling to the side of his head and his glasses start to fog.

"Well, don't come knocking on my door when you wake up and some of us have been robbed or worse yet, murdered in our sleep!" He screeches now as Tess looks over at him and holds out her arm.

"I'm sorry, Jules. I didn't mean to scare you," she says softly and he moves to wrap his arms around her shoulders. "I am."

"It's all fine and good baby but what's wrong? Tell me? Why are you so upset?"

"I just want out of this. I'm tired. I'm so tired." Tess cries again as Julius looks at me more worried than ever for we both knew she was tired for awhile now which is why she had tried to run before.

"I know it baby. But, well, maybe rehab......

"Just stop. Ok. Please! Just.....let me be. I'm gonna go read my bible." she pushes away from Julius and heads onto the fire escape as we both look at each other again and I sit back down.

"Good God between her and Frankie we need to open our own rehab. AND you miss know you can't say nothing to Mr. Daddy." He takes a seat at the table with me and lights his own smoke as I glance over and see Tess immersed in her Bible.

"I can try."

"You can't. I told you,Tessy tried that shit with Mr. Bigwig and he lost his shit. Don't make it worse for her baby. We will help her, somehow." He says puffing his smoke as I light one myself just feeling awful for my friend. I really did and even more awful that Julius was right. I was between a rock and a hard place for sure.