When the Heroes Falls | Shadowhunters Fanfiction

08 What Lies Ahead

"You sure this is enough baked goods?" Izzy mocked while rummaging through the bag I handed her "This is a tons of cookies.. and muffins.. and fudge, and.. I don't even know what this is."

Three consecutive nights, and my nightmare's intensifying. I would rather stay awake than to see Alec dyi-- so, not to make my time completely useless, I baked. Which is a good timing cause Alec and Izzy are both going to Idris. So, I asked them to send goody food to their parents, Max, and Nana.

I'm a good baker.

"It's haystack cookies." I slightly chuckle. Izzy raised her eyebrows as she stare at the weird looking cookie "It's a baked noodle, Iz."

"That is not how a noodle should look like." Izzy grimaces.

I agree but it's a family recipe and Nana loves it.

"Maddie, what's going on with you? The last time you baked these many, you're ignoring the fact that JD is... sick." Izzy probe, worriedly "You know you can talk to me right?"

Yeah, I forgot she can sense what I feel.

"I know. It's nothing, I'm fine. Nobody is sick or dying it's just... one of those days, I guess." I said, making up excuse. Alec is worried enough for me as it is. I don't need the two of them hovering over my shoulders "Can I talk to you about something else instead? Promise you won't freak out."

"Of course. What is it?"

"Alec's been talking about starting a family." I stated and it immediately brought joy on her face.

"Oh my gosh...! OH MY GOSH! That is so exciting!" she beamed, cheerfully "Why do think I'm gonna freak out?"

"Because I think I don't want to have kids."

"What?! Since when?" Izzy exclaims "You've been a fan of big family. What changed?"

"My legion blood. I barely have an understanding about it. I may likely pass it on to a child." I fretted, stepping slightly away from her.

"Maddie, pure blooded or not, you are an awesome person. And you are gonna bore amazing, beautiful children." Izzy console, walking closer to me "Can you really imagine a future with just you and Alec in it?"

"Honestly, no but-" I shook my head.

I may be fun loving person but my whole life I assumed I would have children. And honestly, when I dream about my future with Alec, I always picture ourselves with kids. Growing a family. Knowing Alec, he'll be the greatest father anyone could've ask for.

"No buts... and if worst comes to worst, you have an army on your side. If Hodge did it alone, there's no reason that you and Alec can't." Izzy solaces, I gave her a small smile but worry still in my face to which she notice "Most likely that biggest problem is you, teaching them un...traditional stuff."

I chuckled "By 'untraditional' you mean fun stuff, right?"

"Do I?" she laughed.

I'm going to have a challenging time grasping motherhood but I know no one will love my future kids better than I would. Still, I have this fear inside me — what will my children are going to face? Will they possessed unnatural abilities? And if they do, what if they resent me for it? What if Alec resents me for it?

"But if you are dead set against not having kids or fearing of having them, you should talk to Alec about this." Izzy said, noticing my still concerned expression.

A sudden knock interrupted us. We turn and saw Alec standing by Izzy's room door "Isabelle, you ready to go?"

"Yeah." Izzy said then she took the bag and left the room.