She Is Not Her

Chapter 45

*****PRESENT DAY*******

Adria's POV:

That kiss was printed, no scratch that engraved in my mind and heart. I never thought I would see such a gentle side of the Austin Hawk.

But the kiss did the exact same thing I have been avoiding. It brought back the feelings I was trying hard to subside.

Also, Austin's sudden appearances didn't help at all. He started visiting me by waiting outside my college at least once a week.

I wanted him to stay away from me and I was desperate to do so. I feared if I see him again I will go running into his arms.

The desperation made me do the worst thing I could think of doing in that situation. I made a boyfriend. I accepted the proposal of Leon who was trying his chances with me for a few weeks now.

We dated for a few months but I broke up with him when he started getting too touchy and began asking for sex. At first, felt guilty that I was using him to keep Austin away but my guilt died when I realised he just wanted to get into my pants and nothing else.

Being true to his words, Austin didn't bother me when I was dating Leon but started making appearances again when I broke up with him.

God! this guy was persistent and stubborn as fuck.

The only time I felt relief was during exams when Austin did not bother me even though I was single. Also, I engrossed myself so much in studies I barely got time to think about him, I still did though.

After that, I pretended to date 1 guy during my bachelor's. I and Samuel just happened to like playing the same video game to relax from all the studies and part-time works, so we started hanging out. I lied to Austin that I was dating him. But my lie didn't work for a long time as our exams were done soon and Samuel left immediately as he got his dream job at some video game company.

I scored well in my BBA so got admission into a good college for MBA. It wasn't far away from home so the two years went good as I got to live with Andrea and dad in our mansion. I somehow convinced dad to live with us for the time being.

When I was in the first year of my MBA I met this guy Micah in our office. I was doing an internship there so as to learn the work and gain practical knowledge.

No one was told that I was going to be the future CEO of A&A Hotels, but people did talk behind my back as they thought I was getting some special treatment, what they did not know was that I worked from cleaning the tables to waitressing to being a bellhop and even doing laundry as survival jobs during my bachelors.

Dad believed that if we want to reach the top we have to work from the bottom and that's what he made me do. He is a man of values and as his daughter, I respected and followed them.

During my final year of MBA, I worked as a secretary to Mrs Jenna. She was now taking care of the company along with my father. They were doing a great job and I got to learn a lot from them.

Micah was a manager at one of our hotels, a bit older than me but a nice guy.

He was sweet, kind and handsome and showed a lot of interest in me. He was one of the few people who could make me smile easily. It gave me hope that finally, I could be able to move on from Austin and be with someone else. Our first kiss happened after dating for 2 months and then one day when we were having a cosy dinner at his home we kind of got too close. Austin was always there in my mind but Micah helped me to suppress his thoughts, at least that's what I believed until that day. I was laying half-naked under Micah, him kissing my neck and my eyes closed. My conscious mind was in the state of ecstasy so the subconscious took over and it did the worst that could have happened.

As I closed my eyes I saw Austin's face and moaned his name.

I have had my fair share of worst breakups but trust me when I say I wanted the ground to swallow me at that time.

That night I took an oath to be single for the rest of my life.

"Where are you lost, baby girl?", came Austin's voice bringing me out of my thoughts.

What a nerve-wracking flashback I had just now. I secretly pinched myself and brought my mind from the trance.

"Just get lost, please. And don't say that again", I told him and went to the open kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I guess I need ice water, him calling me 'baby girl' in that tone was the last thing my body was ready to handle right now.

"Pass me a glass too", he said not bothered at all by my insult. I took another glass from the cabinet and started pouring some water into it.

"Can we talk over a coffee?", he asked while scrolling through his phone.

"What am I? Your maid?", I asked annoyed and just kept the water on the table. He took the glass and started drinking the water, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

Fuck! I need another glass of water.

"Thanks and offering coffee to your guests won't make you their maid", he mocked at me.

"You are not my guest", I spat back immediately.

"Uninvited yes, but I am still a guest", he argued. He was giving me a headache.

Or maybe the ache is somewhere else. My subconscious mocked.

"Drink the damn coffee and get lost from here", I said and went back to the kitchen to get us some coffee.

"Get lost now", I ordered when we were finally done drinking the dammed coffee. He didn't say anything just leaned back on the sofa and kept staring at me.

"Wh.. What you looking at huh?", I asked getting conscious of the way he was staring at me. He took a deep breath, his chest heaving and his muscles flexing even more due to the action. God! he is ripped.

"You have changed. You are like your old self. Witty, fun, rebellious, brave and.. and lively", he said as he kept looking directly into my eyes, a small smile playing on his lips.

"So? Does it make you wanna whip the braveness out of me, starve the liveliness out of me and brand rebel on my body?", I blurted out not leaving the chance to remind him why we can't be together.

Slowly the curve of his lips flattened and the happiness in his eyes disappeared.

"I.. I am .. I am sorry", he said for the nth time, his prideful demeanour now long gone. He looked like a person who has gone to the church to confess his sins to the father. His head was bent low and his eyes no longer staring into mine, instead, he kept looking at his shoes.

"I know I am the evil here. I accept all the sins I have done. I tied to repent them in all these years", he said and then looked up, I could tell his eyes held back tears that were ready to fall any moment.

"The news of me marrying Shasha was false but not completely", my heart stopped beating when he said that. "You know, I turned 35 last week? I am getting old", he chuckled. I knew it was his birthday last week. I did not even wish him. For the last seven years he visited me on my every birthday and brought gifts for me but I never even wished him once.

"My parents want me to get married and they chose Shasha for me. But I didn't agree with it. I wanted to meet you one last time and beg for forgiveness again. But I guess it's too late. 7 years I was holding this thread of hope not realising that I was the one to burn it down long ago. I still had a little will left in me until now. But you know what?", he said and walked towards the door, opening it he slowly he turned back looking at me again.

"I give up", he said and walked out.