She Is Not Her

CHAPTER 21

A/N

N numbers of mistakes. Unedited. Read at your own risk.

My midterm exam ended today and I am too sleepy to function (I slept only 3 hours last night). I wrote this chapter while I was half asleep... I still am.

So please avoid the mistakes.

---------------------------------------------

ADRIA'S POV:

"I am sorry my angle. Don't be scared, please. I am sorry for whatever I did to you earlier. We will get married soon and I promise you that I will treat you like my queen. Cause you ARE my queen, baby"

A whole week passed but his words were still echoing in my mind like they were said just now.

After breaking almost everything in the room and declaring that I am gonna get married to him Austin hugged me and whispered those words in my ears. After that, he kissed me passionately and we slept hugging each other.

Since then Austin has been EXTRA sweet to me.

Honestly, this guy confuses me to no end. One moment he is all sweet and lovey-dovey with me and the other he behaves like the Satan he used to be.

Yes, I said "he used to be" cause it is the truth. He changed, a lot I must add. The man who whipped me till I bleed is gone and the one who is with me is someone new. Someone with emotions.

I have seen Austin restraining himself many times. It's like he is working on himself, trying to control his anger. And it's noticeable. He even managed to stay calm many times when I asked him why he wants to marry me.

Obviously, he did not answer. Instead, I was been bombarded with different questions like, 'Why? Am I not good enough for you?', 'Do you still hope that I will let you go?', 'Are you still dreaming about marrying that pathetic EX- boyfriend of yours', and many more.

The anger in his eyes was too much. His fists were balled up and the veins of his temple were almost popping out. Yet he did not harm me. And that felt strange.

As I said he is been extra sweet and caring too. And I love this side of his.

Wait! What did I say just now? Love? LOL.

How could I even use that word? I mean I like him when he is nice with me, I like the way he makes me feel when he is around me, I like his touches, his kisses, I like the way he speaks, I like the way he looks, I like the way he smiles but this is not love..... Right?

No, it cant be love cause it is wrong. Even me liking him is wrong. I cannot like him, I cannot feel positive towards him. I have a boyfriend, a boyfriend I love and care. And I cannot like him because he destroyed my life, hurt my father, took away my freedom. He destroyed me and my family.

I cannot like him...

It's wrong..

He is the enemy...

He is bad....

He is Satan...

He hurt me...

He... He... Fuck! No matter how much I keep reminding myself I cannot bring my heart to hate him. It's like my heart cannot stop itself from getting attracted to him.

I don't know what to name my feelings as but all I know is that it feels weird. When Austin is close to me I feel weird in my belly, my breathing becomes fast and my thoughts foggy.

His one touch is enough to make my legs turn into jelly and my panties wet. Damn! he is hot. What am I thinking again?

Well, he is hot but still.