Chapter 21

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TW: Mentions death.

One week later
George POV:

Clay left for work earlier than usual today. He's been really busy since he got the promotion. He also gets really tired when he gets home. He says he'll get used to the new schedule eventually.

If I were to be honest, I don't think I'll get used to his new schedule. Every afternoon I'm just staring at the door hoping a certain blonde opens it and says "I'm back from work!" but it never happens anymore.

Clay gets home after dark now and I have to spend the entire day alone. Well, I have Patches with me but being with Clay is different. He knows ways to cheer me up and keep me distracted.

I've been feeling a lot lonelier lately. My mental health seems to be getting worse unless I'm with Clay. To cope with it, I often take a nap during the day. And that's what I'm going to do now.

I got into the bed and draped a thin blanket over myself, closing my eyes and letting sleep take over.

In George's dream:

I found myself on the bed that me and Kyle had in our house in California. I quickly got up, confused as to how I got here. I made my way downstairs and saw Kyle sitting on one of the bar stools near the kitchen island.

"Morning Georgie!" He chanted. I greeted him 'good morning' back and sat down next to him. I wanted to ask him what was going on. "Slept well love?" He asked, I shrugged.

"Wasn't I in Florida? At Clay's house? How am I suddenly here?" I asked.

"Because this is a dream." Kyle explained. I nodded, not even being surprised. I have the craziest dreams all the time. "And this is probably the last time I'll be visiting you in your dreams."

"What?! No! You have to visit me or I'll be mad at you." I said.

"You can't stay mad at me for long George. And I might have to visit again because you're an idiot." Kyle said.

"How am I an idiot huh, Mr I'm-Not-Gonna-Visit-My-Husband-Because-I-Hate-Him?" I teased Kyle.

"I don't hate my husband, but my husband is being an idiot. He doesn't see it but I do because I've got nothing to do but watch him the whole day." Kyle said.

"What did I even do that you're calling me an idiot over and over?" I asked with a pout.

"You're ignoring the things you're feeling." Kyle said as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

"And what am I feeling, genius?" I asked, wondering what the hell he was talking about.

"You like Clay." Kyle said.

"What? No I don't? I mean- I do but not like that. He's just really nice to me so I'm nice to him back." I explained. Was Kyle doubting my love for him?

"Stop lying to yourself George. You're upset when he isn't around, you forget all your worries when you're with him, you wait impatiently for him to return from work, you feel safe when he wraps his arm around you at night. Is this not love?" Kyle asked.

"No! It's not love! Do you not trust me? I only love you! Only you!" I raised my voice, almost yelling while being on the verge of crying.

"George I do trust you. I know how much you love me, and I love you back. But loving me doesn't mean you can't like anyone else. You love your mum too right? And your dad? So what's too bad about liking Clay? I'm not stopping you, I'm dead. And I'm not mad at you. I've made you sad in the past by leaving you when I promised to grow old with you. I want you to have someone by your side in life, and Clay is perfect for that." Kyle said, trying to calm me down by hugging me.

"But I don't love him! I don't want anyone else by my side, I only want you! I-If you're gone forever then I don't want to live my life with anyone else. I'd rather live alone than spend the rest of my life with someone that isn't you." I said, tears rolling down my cheeks while Kyle tried to wipe them away, failing as new ones replaced them.

"George, even if I'm gone, you can't just stop... living! I want you to move on George. Forget about me and continue a good life with Clay. Life goes on." Kyle said. I registered his words as I heard another voice and woke up.

"George are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?" Clay asked. I looked up at him but realised my eyes were glossed with tears. I blinked a few times and Clay wiped my tears away.

"Why'd you wake me up?" I muttered, a little angry with myself for waking up from what could be my last dream where Kyle visited me.

"What do you mean?" Clay asked, pulling me into a hug and looking at me with a concerned look. "You were crying so I thought I should wake you up as you're probably having a nightmare."

"Kyle visited me..." I muttered, hugging Clay tightly and closing my eyes, letting the tears that had formed in them fall to my cheeks. "He said that was the last time he'll visit me."

"I'm sorry..." Clay whispered, wiping my tears again with a frown. He hugged me closer and kept rocking us until I stopped crying. I slowly let go of him and wrapped my blanket around me.

"I can't believe I slept for this long." I said glancing at the time. It was already past 6.

"Well, wash your face if you need. I'll change quickly and make dinner." Clay said, patting me on the back and getting up to grab his clothes. I left to go to the bathroom to wash my face, soon making my way to the living room and sitting down on the couch, waiting for Clay.

Clay soon came out of his room and went to the kitchen, me following behind. We made pasta and ate it quickly, retiring for the night soon. Clay fell asleep quite quickly while I lay awake, considering I had woken up not too long ago.

In his sleep, Clay put his arm around me like usual. I got startled this time, Kyle's words repeating in my head. "Move on George." "You like Clay." "Life goes on..."

I looked down at Clay's arm, then turned my head to glance at his peaceful sleeping face. I never reacted to him holding me when he slept but it's bothering me today. Maybe Kyle's words were true. Maybe Kyle is right.

I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes lacking any sleep, as I thought over Kyle's words. Do I like Clay?
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1149 words.

I don't know George, do you?

Remember that you are valid and loved. Also remember to eat, sleep and stay hydrated. Have a great day/night.

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