Dragon's Rose (A Draco Malfoy Fanfiction)

everything i wanted

Theo left before Ben got home, Adeline bade him a pleasant goodbye and told him that they'd see each other again before their departure to Hogwarts in September. She had a lot of regrets this past year, and not being there for her cousin as much as she needed to was one of them. She was too consumed in herself to even process the idea of being around other people and this year Adeline cannot do that. She needed to explore, to be an aid, to be more than a lump on a log.

Especially since Theo had helped her more than he could on more than one occasion. Tonight was one example.

After Adeline put on Full House, they both ate their snacks and didn't speak about Adeline's red-rimmed eyes, the pulsing bruises on her neck and jawline, or the lonliness and rejection she felt in her heart. She was glad. Theo just made her feel comfortable by talking about normal things like 'how fucking cool a television is' and how Joey Gladstone is now Theo's all-time favourite character. Adeline's was Kimmy Gibbler in the first two seasons and Michelle Tanner in the rest.

They kept their conversations light and happy, and when Theo left, Adeline felt her pit of emptiness wash over her like a cruel shower of knives.

She didn't want to deal with Ben and his questions about her bruises and sad eyes, so she went upstairs. Adeline showered quickly; scrubbing her body until she was raw and red to try to get Malfoy's touch off of her. She still felt his hands and heavy gaze. At this point, they were just reminders of the fact that she was just simply not enough.

That's always what it is, isn't it?

She heard Ernie Macmillian's voice in her head, haunting her, though from years ago: "Adeline Fawley is nothing more to me than some galleons, a name for myself in this world, and a quick shag."

She had come to terms with the fact that Ernie Macmillian is -- and will always be -- an arse, but the words had stung as a fourteen year old, and they still sting two years later. It all just proved that she was nothing more than money, a title, and a body.

Her feelings didn't matter. Her ideas didn't matter. Her opinions didn't matter. Who she was as a person didn't matter.

She didn't matter.

Her father had made that abundantly clear over the past years. No one wants a Queen ruling the kingdom. Women are for being seen and not heard. Women are not to be taught sword-play or anything of the sort beyond the basic skill. Women are nothing. Adeline is nothing.

Adeline is nothing.

She got out of the shower and sped to her bedroom, putting on a satin pyjama set the colour of bubblegum and cotton candy. She brushed her hair and teeth and didn't dare to look at herself in the mirror once as she did so. She didn't want to bare the shame on her shoulders -- literally.

Then she drew her curtains completely closed and shut out her lights. It was only eight, and Ben had mentioned earlier in the day that he would be a couple hours late coming home because he was going to his friend's house for dinner, but she couldn't stand being awake anymore.

She prayed to anyone, any Saint, any God, any wizard from the dead, anyone, that she could sleep tonight. She needed to be taken away. She needed to be casted into a deep sleep and not broken out of it.

So when she tossed her thick blankets over her head and burrowed herself in the heat of her bed, she closed her eyes as tight as she could and let her mind wander in the sad places. In some miracle, sleep did take over her.

It was one of those sleeps where you were sleeping and dreaming, but you can hear whatever is around you. The sound contributes to everything.

So when the distant voice in her dreams called, "Ads? Ads?" It was like a calming melody, and Adeline wanted to draw closer. A door opened and a content sigh was released before there was soft padding towards her and a hand running down her hair. Adeline inhaled cuddled closer to her pillow. The hand left her head, followed by more soft padding toward the door and then another calming melody of "Goodnight."