Andy Biersack fanfiction - Accidents Happen *COMPLETED* （≧∇≦）

Chapter 8 - If you Dig Deep Enough

-Remember, this is from Andy's perspective-

Everytime I looked at her, I thought of her big, innocent eyes that stared at me with a fearful expression every night. She still has a sense of fear around me, more than she is showing. I wished I could take it all back, but there is no sense sulking. I have to let her know I'm sincerely sorry, and whether or not she forgives me is her choice, but she has to know all the regret, the greif and pain, I have over those years. I kept telling myself it's not gonna cut it, I can't expect her to forgive me. Why did I do it in the first place? At least she is happy now, I wonder who her fiance is. She probably doesn't want to help us out on this whole music video thing, it's a long process. Sighing, I looked up at CC. Tessa had gone to get lunch before the music video process began.

"I've never felt so distant from someone." I said. CC didn't really know about what I had done to Tessa, he just thought she was really shy and I was really loud so we didn't go well. "She'll warm up to you, man." CC comforted. If only he knew. "I'm gonna go talk to the backups for the video, see what they've got so far." I said, getting up. They all nodded. Since we had artived, nobody spoke much. CC was pretty oblivious, but the others knew. Jake especially was having a hard time. I walked over to the green screen set being made. I'd asked my good friend Ronnie Radke to be in the video, which was exciting. I could see him talking to someone on the set. "Hey man!" I said, trying to hide all the different emotions I was feeling. "Hey Andy? What's up?" He smiled and we hugged awkwardly. "Eh, not much. Is everything okay?" He seemed a little worried. "The girl I'm supposed to dance with just called, she can't make it. We can't find a backup." Ronnie said, frowning. I thought for a moment and then:

Tessa.

I couldn't just volunteer her for it though, she'd have to agree. "I think I have someone who could replace her." I said, snapping out of my blank stare. "Okay. If not, I'm sure wd can dig around for someone. I gotta run, go and get ready for the vid. See ya!" Ronnie said before striding off. I hope Tessa get's back soon, it's gonna be awkward if they don't find another backup. How am I supposed to ask her? Hello ex girlfriend who I abused until she ran away, would you like to be in my music video and dance with my friend? I smiled a little at my strange humor.

10 minutes to three, Tessa walked in. I figured I should ask if they found another backup first. "Hey Tish, did they find a girl yet?" I asked the Casting Manager, Tish. "No, I thought we were using her?" Tish motioned to Tessa. "I haven't really asked her yet..." I said. Tish shrugged and went back to his computer. Way to set the stage...

"Hey, uhm, Tess?" I called nervously. Her eyes shot up and glared at me.

"Don't call me that." She snapped.

"Sorry. I was just wondering, we need a girl for this part in the video...can you fill in for her?"

I noticed her digging her nails into her palm; a habit she's always had. "Uhm...are you sure you can't find anyone else?" She was shaking profoundly. I wondered if she was feeling ill, but reminded myself it was probably just my presence. "I don't think so, if you don't want to it's okay...You'll get paid extra for doing it and everything." I said. Now it sounded like I was bribing her. She seemed lost in thought, but a moment or two later she shyly nodded. "Oh-uhm, okay...I guess I can do it." Tessa said. "Okay, thanks Tess...I mean, uhm, Tessa." That's when I noticed she had tears in her eyes. I could only imagine what was going on in her mind.

"Okay!" Jeremy's feminine but commanding voice shouted. "Can we get Ronnie and the backup girl on set? We need green screen effect #3." Tessa crept onto the set nervously. "Okay, where that blue tape is is where there will be a burning torch thing so don't get too close to it." Tessa glanced at the tape, and I noticed she was shaking again. Ronnie was definitely checking her out. "Great! Okay, now Ronnie, put your hands on her hips and get in really close, okay?" Jeremy called. That's when it went wrong.

Ronnie set his hand's on Tessa's hips and she was shaking more than ever, her eyes dancing with tears. "Are you okay?" I heard Ronnie whisper. "Ronnie, move in closer!" Jeremy shouted. As soon as Ronnie pressed himself against her, she held her arms up to her face as a sheild and cringed back. The whole studio was silent. Ronnie looked over at everyone, a confused look on his face. Tessa released a quiet sob and ran out of the warehouse-like building. "Ok, uhm, let's take a break!" Jeremy awkwardly announced. Ronnie approached me, holding his hands out in the signature 'what the fuck' signal. "Did I do something?" He asked. I shook my head, looking down at my shoes. "I-I uhm, I need to go talk to her."

I found myself frantically searching the outside for Tessa, her car was still in the lot but she was nowhere to be found. Finally, I spotted her sitting on the curb staring down at her feet. What should I say? What is even the right thing to do? I slowly walked towards her, but as she spotted me she inhaled sharply and scooted away. "D-don't come near me!" She cried, tears clogging her throat. I put my hands up slightly and stayed where I was. Unsure of what of say, I blurted out, "What was that?" Tessa didn't look at me, and I didn't blame her. She didn't even speak, I knew very well what that was. That was me. That was what I did to her. I very slowly inched towards her, keeping eye contact. She leaned away at first, but eventually she let me sit down across from her on the street. "Hey," I said dryly. She looked away, her tear filled eyes just as beautiful as the day I left her. "It's gonna be okay." I smiled, trying to comfort her but I knew I couldn't shield her from something I caused. For once, Tessa looked me dead in the eye. "You are the last person that should be telling me that." Her tone was stone cold, and although it hurt me I had to remind myself it was my fault. I should leave now, look at how selfish I was being. Tessa was happy, she didn't need me to come in and screw things up. I would comfort her, and then I would leave her alone. She'd be better off, I don't want to hurt her. "I'm sorry, Tessa." I said with a sigh. "And I know that doesn't cut it, but you have to know that I'm sorry. I just want you to understand that...I'm never going to hurt you." Once again, Tessa avoided dye contact. I saw her nails dug deep into the palm of her hand. "You don't deserve this torture, so I promise that as soon as this is over, I will talk to my manager and set things straight. You can go live with your fiance and forget me, okay? But I need to make sure you know the grief and regret I'm carrying." She bit her lip and finally looked at me. "I can't forget you..." She whimpered, her voice shaking and cracking. "Everything I do, everyone I meet...I see you in them and I just can't anymore." There was a moment of silence before she quietly said, "Why did you do it? Why didn't you just let me go?" I asked myself the same question every day, and I could barely answer myself on it. "Because deep down I loved you, and it was stupid. I was stupid. I was horrible, consumed by consumables and needed someone to take things out on. I can't believe I chose you." She sighed. "I need to get home. I have to pick up my, uhm, fiance. His car is broken." She said, pulling out her wallet to get her keys. As she pulled her keys out, a small photograph of a dark haired, blue eyed boy fell out. He looked to be about 4. I didn't mention anything. Then she left, without a word.

And I was as empty as ever.