Pregame motive

Chapter 13-memories from a different point of veiw

T/W-mentions of self harm,mental abuse,physical abuse,sexual assault,suicide,pedophillia,language,
Murder,alcoholism,drugs

(Please remember this is fan made and not canon,so don't think that it is! Kokichi does not have a canon backstory that we know of and I don't think this is what happened to him, but a lot of my head-cannons of his childhood are portrayed in this!)

(If any of you are confused why I put sexual assault,without spoiling anything,kokichi wasn't the one being assaulted)

Shuichi headed back to the room to check on kokichi.he opened the door to see ouma holding his head in what seemed to be anger and shame,he was violently shaking and breathing heavily.

Saihara strode over to him and hugged him.kokichi leaned his head into the detectives chest,it gave him a sense of comfort and security.

After a few minutes a silence,shuichi asked,"could you tell me why you did it?".

Kokichi lifted his head up from his chest and wiped the tears off his face.the leader shook his head,looking off to the side.

Saihara sighed,"it's alright,I don't hate you.I'm just worried,and so is everyone else,",the boy held the purplenettes shoulders,"do you want to come to the hall with me now or tomorrow?after all,it is quite late,".

"....tomorrow..if that's ok.I just don't have the courage to face them right now,"he replied.

"Alright,I'll say goodnight then!"shuichi kissed the boys forehead and left the dorm to go to his own.

Ouma laid in his bed,staring at the ceiling aimlessly.

'Why did I try and kill myself again?'he thought,'is it just a bad habit,or is it something more?'

'I mean my personal life was never that good,but....

(Story time👌)

Ever since a young age my family wasn't great.

My mother was a drunk,who was on countless drugs,too many for her health,my father was an abusive man,who took an interest in little girls.My sister was nice,though what she went through was(in my opinion)worse than me.

She had been sexually assaulted by father since she was around 5.she had been abused at school and at home for most of her life,yet when I was born,she still sacrificed everything she had for me.

Father was a very....pushy man.expected the best 24/7.every second,of every minute,of every hour,of every day.when we didn't exceed to his astonishingly high expectations,he would punish us.for myself,physical punishment was his most used tactic.

He would lock me in small cabinets,not feed me for days,sometimes even weeks.baring in mind the fact,that I was a growing child back then.

Even if physical abuse was his most used tactic for me,he still used mental abuse as well.he would lock me in my room for days,weeks if he felt like it,without anything.no food,no water,no entertainment,no nothing. He simply just left me there and did nothing about it.

My mother also abused me mentally,she would always criticise me on my grades and how I look.she would call me names, and I know that sounds childish,but being called a monster,a disgrace,by your own mother still hurts.plus,even if she never harmed me much physically,the mental abuse she gave certainly had an affect on my life.

For my sister,her punishment for being defiant was more for father's undesirable pleasure and interest towards younger girls,than for the sake of seeing her in pain.

He would assault her for however long he desired.occasionally,he would force me to watch.it was distraught filling.

Forcing me to watch the person I cared about most,being hurt in one of the most disgraceful ways possible? He was a disgusting disappointment and a disgrace to the human race.

My mother didn't give two shits about us.most of the time she was passed out on the couch,out at a club,or fucking another human being somewhere on the street.

This went on for years until....

I snapped.

I had had enough of it.it had gone on for two long.

My sister had just moved out a few months ago,so it was just me and my parents.

One night,after school,I was in the kitchen.my father was beating me,I almost passed out,before a faint voice appeared inside my head.

It whispered to me,'why not just kill your parents?'

Suddenly,it was like I wasn't in control of my own mind anymore.like my movements weren't my own.

As soon as I realised,I had grabbed a sharp blade,preferably a knife,and wrestled my father to the floor.I stabbed him multiple times in the chest,stomach,limbs and head,and I did it all with a wide grin spread across my face.

I stood back up,covered head to toe with plotchy red blood all over my uniform.I stumbled towards my mother who was passed out on the couch and did the same.as she often complained of having nausea and migraines regularly,a stabbed her in the head and stomach more than anywhere else.I thought that might stop her from having those issues in her next life.

I cleaned all the evidence,leaving no trace the murder had even happened.I made up a cover story for every single question they could and would ask.

The excuse for my parents disappearance was that they went on a business trip,for myself I had came home and gone up to my room.

'They were there when I came home and then now they're gone,'or so I told.I'm a great liar so they would never be able to find a crack in my plan.I was all thought out carefully making sure there were no holes in my strategy.

They settled for that my family abandoned me,my sister lost the case for my guardianship,so I ended up going with my aunt.she hated me as well,so there wasn't much change in my home life.I soon ran away and found myself living alone in a one bedroom apartment,with a minimum wage job that provides just enough money to survive.

I then saved up enough money to go to school again,there I met saihara-kun and we became friends after a while.he was annoying at first,but when I got to know him he seemed sweet.

after a bit we started dating and moved in together.I sold my apartment for extra money and life is better now.

I'm happy I met saihara-kun.he's helped me a lot throughout the time I've known him.sure,he has his issues,but he has good intentions.I want to stay with him,for the rest of my life.I don't know why,and sometimes I do wonder why I suddenly felt these strong emotions that I had never experienced before.

Saihara called it love.love,huh?I like it.it gives me sense of warmth and comfort.whatever this love is,I want to be able to hold onto it.

forever.

And I want it to be for saihara-kun.

Saihara-kun and saihara-kun only.

Word count:1229

(Sorry I haven't updated in a while,I've had ZERO motivation to do this😅,but I hope you like this chapter😁)