Sunflowers | GonKillu

Hospital x and x hope

Sounds were flickering in and out, conciousness slipping back in pieces. My body still felt numb, making it seem like infact I am only observing myself wake up, I took notice of my lungs slowly inhaling chilling crisp air, chest slowly rising up and down. My throat still lightly stung from the rawness of the inner wounds, but it was not the worst. Strings of voices faded in and out around me, echoing around like my ears were filled with fog. Grumbles escaped my mouth, and the sounds silenced themselves to nothing more then a muted whisper.

I could slowly feel my body again, power growing back steadily as I was finally able to open my eye lids. I groaned tiredly, and tilted my head out of the light above me: shining straight into my eyes blinding me. I blinked a few times, then I saw the outline of someone. My vision still blurry, after images fazing in and out of my sight. A grumble sounded from my lips, as my eyes focused in more on the person. I then saw a familiar face... Alluka?

"Big brother...!!" She said conceringly, hugging my head tightly. I gasped at her tight grip, and she leaned me against the wall as I say up. My head rung sharply as I did so, a hiss escaping my lips. I tried to speak, "... Alluka.. princess, what happened.." I asked, feigning ignorance even though I knew exactly what happened to me. "... I was walking home from school and saw you outside, so... your here in the hospital now..!" She said quietly, a soft concerned smile on her pink lips. Wait- I'm in a hospital-?

I focus on the surroundings around me, and sure enough pale blue print adorned the walls, the medical bed under me crinkled mutely under my shifting weight, myself in a pale baby blue gown that had a slightly darker shade of diamonds scattered across the fabric as a blandishment. "... Did Gon... see?" I said quietly, voice slightly scratchy. Alluka looked to the floor, then back at me with a sheepish look, ".. He came out. He just... stared at you. No response I'd expect, to be honest..." she choked out, tearing up slightly and looking at me, "... Big brother I'm just happy your ok" she said tearily, smiling glumly with my hand in hers. With the strength I'm getting back, I squeeze her palm gently back to comfort her.

"...I love you Alluka, my princess" I said softly, almost a whisper. She just sniffled and I scooted over as the younger girl crept onto the small medical bed and cuddled against me. I embraced her close and lovingly stroked the back of her head. She sobbed softly into my shoulder, and I hummed sweetly to her. "... Don't worry, ok?" I said to comfort her and she nodded slowly with a sniffle. Just then, a doctor walked inside, ".. Mr.Zoldyck?" The man said in a monotone. I looked at him anxiously, "... Yes sir?" I replied sheepishly, hugging my sister closer. "... your disease almost claimed you today." He announced, walking in with a clipboard, reading off of it about my condition, "It says you've had Hanahaki Disease for 2 years now?" He asked, not breaking eye contact with the paper. I just hummed quietly in affirmation, and he moved on.

"So, it seems to me that the roots in your lungs have severely dug in and spread, and it has a high chance of rupturing your lungs..." he started, looking up at me with the still uneasy blank expression, "... The only choice you have to live in the long term is to go the surgery. Since your a Hunter, the expense is covered." He explained, and my heart sunk, "... W-what surgery?" I said meekishly, and the doctor tapped his blue pen onto the clipboard, "For your disease. To open your chest and surgically remove the flowers and roots from your lungs before it kills you" he said, still not showing any concern for what he just said.

"Wait... then would that mean..." I started, body growing deathly cold I'm sheer fear, ".... I'd loose my feelings for Gon..?" The doctor nodded, "If that's the one your in love with, then yes. You should know what would happen with a disease like yours" he stated plainly, looking at me finally. I gulped thickly, "... if I don't want to do it yet... how long do I have before I would absolutely need to or I'd die absolutely..?" He paused and bobbed his head to the side a couple times, "seven days exactly starting at 5am tomorrow on the spot" he said, writing something down. A week? To live? I smiled, "... thank you for telling me" I said fakely, and the doctor nodded and left. The little girl hugging me shuttered in disbelief, "... big brother... your going to die..?" She choked out, scared out of her mind for me. She clung even tighter to the fabric in me and choked down a sob, tears leaking from her eyes, "... I d-dont want you to d-die..."

"... Alluka. I just need Gon to love me back, right...?" I started, gaining a sliver of hope, "... then with a kiss... I'd...  I'd live" I said, fooling myself of the chance I had with Gon. He hates me now, and will never love me. I shivered that truth deep down, and embrace the ignorant lie that it will all be over soon. My sister sniffled again and whispered, "... You could just do the surgery" she said softly, and I froze, ".... the surgery?" I don't want to. I'll loose him. "... I'd stop loving Gon..." I choked out, "...I dont want to... i-i'd rather die..." alluka whined silently, "... Why do you care so much, big brother..? Gon doesn't love you back... he loves that girl... he's mad At you..." she listed off, and I just closed my eyes tiredly, "... I love him. I want him to love me back.." I said solemnly.

Even for a moment, I want Gon to love me half as much as I love him.