Sunflowers | GonKillu

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Alluka's POV:

My heart hurt, it stung for big brother. He thinks so highly in the possibility that Gon would love him, I dont want him to realize the truth that it is going to be a struggle to get that thick-skulled boy to love him back. I don't hate Gon, no. But I don't like him. He stuck up for that bitchy lady and didn't rush to big brother's aid when he saw his state. That's a red flag in my book, to be honest.

And now, he has to choose between the the surgery that will save his life and his pure adoration and love for Gon. I personally think he can fall in love with some other boy, but he's.. stubborn. Gon rubbed off on him like that. Here and now he is suffering, because of that jerk. Emotionally hurting because of him. And big brother is in absolutely no condition to confront him, so... I take it upon myself to talk to him and his banshee of a woman. How do I wiggle out of his grasp though? Hmm.. Big brother pets my head softly, staring at the ceiling blankly, deep in thought. Well here goes nothing.. "Hey big brother? I'm going out to get you some food, 'kay?" I white lie to him, and he just nods, having a staring contest with the ceiling. I smiled softly and exited the room, and I almost crashed into a female nurse but fell backwards instead, and I grunted as my behind stung slightly.

I looked up and the woman held her hand out for me, and I grabbed it as she pulled me up, "Oh my lord I'm so sorry little girl!" She apologized, and I chuckled, "No its fine, I'm 15, I can take care of myself." I beamed at her, and made my way off dodging other doctors and soon checked out and left the hospital. I remember being at a smaller shelter-like hospital to help big brother heal Gon, and Nanika did so. I don't remember much, besides telling him to love both of us not just me, but he seemed... intent on making him better. Honestly, it seems like he loves him a bit too much... toxic on his side because that amount of obsession and completely throwing himself away for Gon was not good for him. He basically saw himself as employed as Gons friend, like it was his new role in life and he didn't want to fail that role and maybe he even expected Gon to shame or punish him if he did wrong because thats how he was raised.

He thinks I don't know, and I didn't, but Nanika knew and she told me. I won't ever speak to him about it, but I can yell at Gon for being a jerk. I have a purpose for now. I nod to myself determined and head back to the apartment on foot, almost getting ran over by a old man on a bike, but whatever. I sprinted up the stairs in a hassle, barley having time to catch my breath as I hiked up all 41 stairs and that one broken stair to the top, and tracked down the apartment door. I had my own apartment key since well technically big brother owns the apartment while gon, me and Violet live with him. I put my key into the slot, turning it easily as the door opens. I push the heavy slab of wood to the side, and I saw Violet on the couch as Gon was cooking in the kitchen. My eyes slanted irritatedly, really? While your best friend is in the hospital? Jerk. I grumbled to myself darkly as I made my way inside, and Violet took notice of me and smiled fakely, voice then growing bittersweet like plastic candy dipped in cyanide, "Oh... great! Your home, isn't that swell? How's your no good brother? After he tried to touch me.." she sniffled dramatically, dabbing a tissue to her already tear-free eye, "... Its nice that his sister still came back to say sorry for him, hm?"

... that bitch- i contain my anger with a clenched jaw forced into a smile, "While that idea seems... lovely, I am actually here to talk to Gon. Also, I live here and my brother owns this apartment. So, I'm allowed here all I want to my own leisure, thank you." I said, voice jaded but also trying to sound sweet to not make it sound venomous. She chuckled to herself with forced smile, as i make my way to the kitchen and Gon silently fried two eggs on a oiled pan, not taking notice of my presence. "Gon? Hello?" I make my presence known, and he sort of snaps out of whatever he was in, snapping his head towards me with a rushed smile, "Ah- Alluka-chan!" He chuckled, and I burrowed my brows sadly, "You know he is in the hospital... right?" I say solemnly, and he gulps and looks back at the stove holding the smile, "Sorry, who? I know a lot of men, heh..." he replied softly, flipping the eggs and avoiding my question.

Really- I sigh heavily to myself, "Killua. Killua Zoldyck. Your best friend? Since you were 12?" I tried to jar this numb-skulls memory, and he cleared his throat awkwardly, "Yeah... yeah.. Killua." He said, I honestly haven't heard him say Killua for a while, always called big brother Killu since we met back up with him. I placed my hand on his back, ".... You know he didn't actually touch Violet, right? He... doesn't even like women, Gon. .... he's gay." I admit, and sorry big brother but- its either outing you out as gay or him hating you forever and you'd never get your kiss. He froze for a second and looked at me in a serious disbelief, "... What? Killua's gay?" He questioned, and I nodded, already feeling guilty. "Yeah... uh.. he likes men." I reply, and his whole demeanor was unreadable, stiff but loose, relaxed but tense.

"... You ok Gon?" I ask with a awkward laugh, and he smiles at me, "... Thats good. Good for him. But..." he sighed and plated out the eggs for him and Violet, "... then why would Vivi say he touched her? My love wouldn't lie." He explained, and I sighed deeply. Oh Gon, you fucking idiot. "Gon, she lied to you. She doesn't want big brother to be with you, she wants you to herself. She doesn't even want me here-" I try to tell him, and he freezes up and laughs it off, "Come on Alluka, that's not funny." I put my hands on his shoulder and looked at him seriously, "Gon... Nanika saved you, right? Remember?" I ask, and he hesitantly nods, wary of that time. I go on, "Big brother rescued me from our home, I was locked in the playroom. It was all for you. He saved us from there so Nanika could save you. All he's ever cared for is you. And you drop him like a fly for this woman, who lied to you." I say, slapping reality into him.

He froze up, muscles stiffening. ".... He... he... I..." he shook slightly and smiffled, and I realized I upset him and let go of his shoulders hesitantly, "Gon- I- I'm sorry-" I apologize, and he shakes his head in a sniffle, ".... A-alluka... no, it's all my fault... he... Killu... all he wanted was to hang out, and we did until I met Vivi... has he really felt left out..? I... thought it was fine...! I always included him and showed him affection, so... he doesn't leave..." he said soberly, ".... I'm sorry, Alluka, I'm sorry..- why... why is he in the hospital?" He asked again, and I paused.

"Didn't you see him down the stairs? He fell after having a Hanahaki attack-" ".. Hanahaki?" He inturpted in shock, and I nodded, "Yeah... he's had it for years, Gon. Haven't you noticed?" I ask, and by his demeanor... he hasn't. I gulp, I outed him twice didn't I-?