Sunflowers | GonKillu

Apologies x and x semi-confessions

"I.. What..?" He asked quietly, voice cracking slightly. I gulped down my anxiety, why is he here? Why didn't he stay with Violet? "Why... why are you here..? I thought you were on.. her side" I repeated quietly, staring at my hands which were resting in my lap. There was a silence until there was a hand placed calmly on mine. I looked up and Gon had pulled up a chair and his gaze was fixed on our hands. ".... You're still my best friend. After all of this, all this... confusion, and misunderstandings and stuff.. your always my best friend. You... thought I replaced you..." he croaked out and looked up into my eyes timidly with a soft frown, "... right..?"

My mouth opened to form words, but nothing came out. He deepened his frown and sadly burrowed his eyebrows, ".... I'm so, so sorry... you... all you've done for me... Your.." he chuckled glumly, "... You saved me multiple times, always having to clean up after me..." he used his other hand to hold mine between both of his and pulled a sincere smile as I looked back into his eyes, ".... Guess I have to be the one here for you now, huh..? Still, if you want me to leave..." he drawed off nervously, not wanting to leave but would respect my wishes. I was awestruck. Gon? Apologized? What-? I gulped and hand his hands back, trying to figure out the right words. I've never been too good at speaking my words, me having been trained to not talk about my feelings to others. ".... You can stay for a while, I guess.." I say quietly. I can't stay mad at him, I'm too tired. His eyes brightened slightly as a small smile fell upon his face, now have my hands a slightly squeeze, "Really??" He beamed, and I sighed at his sudden happiness. Well. That's Gon alright.

"That's... thats great!" He gave a couple more squeezes to my hands and got up, energized, "I'll get you some food since Alluka promised it earlier!" He announced brightly as he left out the door in a rush. I stare at the now empty doorway and clear my throat, staring at my hands with slanted eyes. I'm still upset he chose her over me, but... not mad. I was never mad. I was only disappointed. I clenched my fists loosely, "... I just want him to notice my feelings.." I end up muttering to myself out loud and Alluka perks up, hearing it. I gave her a stare, "No no no! I'm.. I'm mad at him! Don't you assume anything!" I protest, and that sudden lengthy usage of my throat made me choke on a petal and start another coughing fit, and she ran up to me and rubbed my back, "Shh big brother-... don't get your petals in a bunch, heh" she joked, and I death glared her. She chuckled nervously, "What-?? I didn't say anything!!" I sigh and wipe my mouth, "... uhuh."

She sat down on the chair Gon had pulled up, ".... Sooooooo-" I looked at her with a unamused expression, "How do we get him to break up with that witch?" She hummed and I burrowed my eyebrows, "We..! We can't just do that..!" I started, taking a breath or two, "... Alluka, he loves her. More..." I look solemnly at the long yellow metal stained with red that came out of my throat as I had coughed, ".... more than me. I... I could never earn his love." She frowned, "But earlier you said!-" "I know what I said. While you were gone, I... thought about it. Maybe, maybe he did at one time love me, but... " I clenched my fist around the petal, ".... he doesn't anymore. Any and all love was lost when he saw her, I was replaced, Alluka." She pouted and puffed her cheeks out, "But when I talked to him- he... he genuinely cares-...!" I look up at her with a tired serious face, "What was he doing when I was in the hospital?" ".... preparing dinner for him and... her." "And did he care at all when you first mentioned I was here?" "... well... no, but-" "Then he doesn't care. He... he just... felt guilty. Thats.. all"

She was about to interject as Gon walked through the door with a clear plastic bowl with a lid, and brought it to me with a bright smile, "Here! Apple sause! Since, well your throat must be healing and its not cold or hot!" He smiled and I simply nodded, grabbing the small dippy cup sized bowl and opened it, slightly cinnamon apple sauce. How did he remember I like that-? No matter. I took the plastic spoon he had in his free hand and began to mix it around, playing with the food slightly. "...I'm not hungry, sorry." I said quietly and he frowned, "But-.... ok. I'm sorry." He said as he took it from me and quietly put it in the mini fridge in the cabinet, that was filled with blood vials but that idiot didn't notice. I sighed heavily and layed on my back, turning it towards them and staring st the wall.

Gon's POV:

I turn around from refrigerating the snack in the convenient fridge and I saw him curled up facing away from me. My expression softened, and I looked at Alluka. 'I don't know what's wrong, you fix him!' She mouthed out and I made a clicking noise with my tongue and gently approached the bed. "... You know, when Ging and I were at the World Tree, for the time he was there," I started, sitting next to him, a crinkle sounding from the paper under me, "We actually ended up talking about you a lot, well.. I was, atleast." He slightly shuffled, looking at me with his blue eyes.

I smiled, ".. I told him how much I wanted my best friend to meet him, and..." I placed my left hand on his cheek and pressed our foreheads together, "... I told him that you were the best companion I could have ever asked for. Your so smart, strategic... and your love for chocolate always made me smile" he looked into my eyes for a second and pulled away with a hesitant frown, and I leaned back, giving him room, "... I wanted to stay with you, and.. I was too scared to text or call you before I did. And when I met up with you at that cafe..." I instead grabbed his hand and placed a kiss on it, ".. I was elated that you asked me if I wanted to hang out with you." He darted his face to look at me, snatching his hand from mine and flushed furiously, "H-HEY- YOU C-CANT SAY THAT STUFF AND D-DO THAT-" he hissed in embarrassment, having backed up with his back against the wall and his legs to his chest.

I chuckle, "You've always been like that, wary of compliments..." I scooted over to sit next to him and I rested my head on his shoulder, "... It's adorable. Killua... I'm.. I'm so sorry. I... I know you would never do that to Vivi." He scoffed at her name mention, and I used my hand to move his face over to look me in the eyes.

"... You could have told me you were gay, y'know"