Sunflowers | GonKillu

Fucking around x and x fucking up

Gon's POV:

"My pretty boy" I say to him quietly, and my eyes drifted from his eyes, to his lips, to his chest. I love his chest, his feminine yet strong figure, his beautiful abs were still firm, and the dip of his pelvis that was barley visible above the hem of his shorts. I wanted it all to myself, he is so perfect.

I looked back to his blue eyes and he was looking away, embarrassed out of his mind from my eyeing him. "J-just do something else then s-stare!" He complained quietly and I smiled. I barley skim my finger tips from his chest to his stomach, then traced his abdomen with my hand, feeling up every space I could with my touch, trying to remember every curve and muscle he had. He shivered from my hands and I giggled, "Hey pretty boy, you like that?" I say quietly near his ear as my hands traveled back up his stomach to his chest and the tips of my fingers barley ghosted over his pecs. He whimpered slightly and I just stared at his beautiful face. I want to make him scream my name.

I gently grab at his pecs, pulling slightly to see his reaction. He muffled a noise and that made me shiver excitedly. I was never interested in anyone like this before this, it's all new to me and I assume him as well. I know he is gay so he'll like it if I love on him a bit. Since it's a one time thing because I wanted to try it out, I'll make him squirm under me and yearn for even the slightest touch from me. I pinch and I pull at his pecs and kiss his neck, earning small whimpers from him as one of his hands timidly held my head on his neck as I smile and mark him. I'm glad he is enjoying himself. I trail kisses down his chest till I reach his pecs and I give one of them a gentle kiss before beginning to suck on it, gently biting down from time to time and I heard the most amazing noises come from his mouth.

My want for him grows and my free hand goes from resting on his chest to lightly skimming over his skin as I go down, down down to the hem of his pants. Then the door opened and I froze. God damn we should have locked that! I look towards the door and Alluka came back with popcorn, "No, please continue" she said with a smirk and Killua absolutely lost it, shoving me off with a squeal and hid his absolutely flushed to the brim face under the sheets. I slightly glared at Alluka and mouthed something at her, 'really? You ruined the mood Alluka!' And she responded by mouthing, 'Not my fault. And plus I don't want you taking full advantage of my big brother. His body isn't your plaything.' I paused. Plaything? No for heavens not! He just.. it was just a one time thing and I wanted him to feel good! But what am I supposed to say to Alluka??

'Come on Alluka, it's.. it's fine right? Violet does this all the time with other dudes. Why can't I? Killua enjoyed it as well' I mouth to explain myself and she just glared at me, 'That's not a good enough excuse! You're not going to fuck with your best friend because you're being cheated on! Cheating is wrong, Gon! And now big brother is going to feel guilty because you cheated on Violet!' I clenched my fists, 'You don't know shit about Vivi and I's relationship! She loves me! I love her! I thought this was a normal thing! And plus your brother loved it, so it's no harm no foul!' She just glared at me with a jaded scowl, a obvious bloodlust coming from her. How can she- you know what it's not important! I get up from off the bed and scoffed, 'Fine! If you don't want me near him I'll just ignore him! Are you happy now??' I mouth to her as I open the door and slam it shut, leaving the room and them behind.

Killua's POV:

I heard the door slam shut and peeked my head out from under the sheets and saw Alluka absolutely pissed. Who made her that angry?? I shuffled a bit and picked up my shirt that was set to the side and pulled it back over my head and shuffled quietly to sit up as I stare at the floor. Did I do something wrong..? Where did Gon go? .. I miss him. Alluka took notice of me after staring intently at the door, and got up to sit next to me on the bed. Her expressions softened, "Are you ok big brother?" She asked and I nodded. He didn't make me feel bad, he was gentle and gave me ways of telling him if I'm uncomfortable. He was a genuine sweetheart and the only thing wrong with it is that I know his girlfriend is cheating on him, but does he really just need to do the same thing..?

My bottom lip trembled as tears built up, "I.. I used him.. I... I'm s-sorry.." I whimpered, looking away with watery eyes. I didn't tell him no! I was using him to live out a sick fantasy where he actually loves me. Love. He doesn't love me. He loves Violet. And now she'll be pissed if she finds out Gon and I messed around a bit!! I look up at the door quickly, I don't want him to suffer due to what we did! Alluka seemed to almost read my mind and walked to the door, "It's not fair to not tell her." She said and my heart grew heavy. What? ".. Alluka.. what.. d-don't tell her" I say quietly, my lungs itching as I gently grab at my throat nervously. My heart rate skyrocketed up as she exited the room, closing the door gently behind her.

I'm all alone. I hate being alone. Why did they leave me. Why. My breath quickened as my head began to throb with the sound of my own heartbeat amplified to deafening heights, and my lungs started to itch more and I started to choke on air, due to the tickle in the way back of my throat. I couldn't even hear my own thoughts over the throbbing in my head, and my whole body trembled as I curled up into a ball. I clutched at my elbows tightly and began to hyperventilate. I hate dark spaces. I hate being alone. The walls seemed to close in on me, as panic set in, what if Gon will never talk to me again? What if he hates me again? Tears flood down my face as I start to painfully feel a immense pressure and barley choke out a whole sunflower with the stalk still in my throat, I was choking on it and it opened the healing wound in my throat, also making me taste my own blood. I whimpered out painfully as I tenderly grab ahold of the flower and pull as hard as I could, the stalk snapped clean and it felt like a tooth ripping out of my gum but in my lungs. I screamed in absolute agony due to the sheer pain of the open wound, and I shakingly throw the bloody mangled flower to the floor, wailing to myself pitifully just resting on my shaking arms, my body growing tenser and shaking, each sob now felt like salt being rubbed on a open wound.

How did something so tender end up with me being swallowed by my own paralyzing fears?