Blue Roses

Chapter fourty two

Chapter song ~ Left alone by Sleeping with sirens

Stepping outside, I squint in the sudden brightness of the morning. I blink rapidly clearing stinging tears from my eyes. I look around at all the destruction from the storm. There are patches of scorched charred ground from lightning strikes and other areas that are completely flooded. Fallen tree limbs scatter the ground as far as I can see. It takes me a minute to adjust to being above ground and outside again.

"Are you sure your alright?"

"I'm fine, just adjusting, how long have I been down there?"

"Four days."

"Oh shit.... What about school, oh god we're graduating soon I can't get behind in classes with only a month and a half left in school."

"Calm down Jade, I told them you were serverly sick and would be back soon... Not too far from the truth, and I have the guys getting all the makeup work, don't worry about it."

I sigh and take a few steps through the squishy grass onto sidewalk around the side of the house.

I start off down the road at a slow, but steady pace. Ash follows me silently like a lost puppy, no pun intended. I feel his concerned gaze flick sideways towards me every few seconds and its suprisingly irritating, but then again I haven't told him the truth yet. I sigh inwardly, this isn't going to be easy.

"Look, I'm not an invalid, I'm perfectly capable of walking.... Now, I'd like a change in scenery, how about the waterfall?"

"Okay..."

I look over at him, bewildered by his tone.

"What's wrong with you?"

He let's out a harsh bark of a laugh,

"What's wrong with me? I should be asking you that, but every time I do you just blow me off saying your fine, as if what happened to you wasn't that big of a deal. Jade, you freaking died! How am I supposed to feel? I feel guilty, shamed, like a disappointment, I'm upset to say the least, but most of all I'm angry!"

I shrink off to the side putting space between us startled and a little frightened, I've never seen him so angry. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. I don't know where all this is coming from, he looks so filled with sadness and self loathing. I stop, placing a hand on his arm softly.

"Why are you so angry? Your not a disappointment, your a wonderful person Ash, don't ever forget that.... Where is all this coming from?"

He refuses to meet my gaze and remains silent, so I cross my arms and sit cross legged on a fallen tree.

"Sit, and tell me, now, and if you don't your not going to like what I'll do to make you."

He just stands there, green eyes searching my face for something, then he gives up and sits next to me stretching out his long legs. With a sigh, he takes my hand, it looks small and frail in his large one, and plays with it absentmindedly.

"I guess I just feel guilty for not being there... You were kidnapped, tortured into a monster, went on a mass murder spree, then died trying to get better, how am I supposed to feel? I'm disappointed in myself that I couldn't manage to keep you safe, and that makes me angry because you mean so much to me, more than you'll ever know. And after you died, I just... I couldn't forgive myself, I was hurt, angry, guilty... I gathered the guys and I led an attack on Jordan and his men. We killed all his guards and injured him, but he escaped with his life. I will find him, and when I do, he will suffer greatly for what he did to you."

I sit there unsure of what to say. What was I supposed to say? That he meant the world to me too? That if he died I would do the same? The thing is, its the truth... As much as it pains me to admit it, he does mean the world to me, and if he died I would be crushed, but I refuse to admit it because its forbidden. Vampires and werewolfs simply don't mix, and they're not allowed too. The council banned it a millennia ago because a mixed couple had a child, which is supposed to be impossible, and it turned into the worst kind of monster the world had ever seen. A hybrid, basically a high class demon, that brought hell to earth with the blink of an eye. No one can kill, so they keep it locked away deep withing the depths of council territory.