Blue Roses

Chapter twenty

Chapter song~ Heart of stone by iko

By the time the party's over, everyones completely wasted and we're all going home. Its dark out and one of those beautiful clear nights where you could just stare up at the sky for hours. All the stars are out and the moon almost full, a cool breeze blowing through the trees.

I collect my things and start walking home through the woods, taking my time.

I look up at the moon and sky as I walk, thinking it would probably be daylight outside at home. I find a little clearing of grass and I sit down.

I lay back and look up at the sky, looking for constellations like I did often on clear nights.

"May I join you?"

I hear a voice coming from the tree line. I tilt my head back and see Ash, everything upside down.

"Sure, its not my forest."

He laughs for a second then comes and sits in the grass across from me. I sit up.

"So, how did you enjoy the party?" he asks me.

"It was crazy, but fun. I got thrown off the waterfall a few times, and swam for awhile. I didn't drink anymore of that crappy beer everyone seems to like so much though."

He laughs again,

"Why am I not surprised by that?"

We both laugh for a second then go silent. I lay back down in the grass and look up at the stars and sky. He breaks the silence, asking,

"Can I ask you something? Its kinda personal, you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Shoot."

"When we first met, you said I was kinder than the last wolf you had encountered. I figured we're all pretty rare to come across, so I was curious to what happened the last time."

I sigh deeply, closing my eyes for a second before answering.

"Its.... a really long story, and not one of my personal favorites."

"Oh, i'm sorry, you don't have to explain."

"No no, its o'k I guess. I've just never told anyone about this. So I guess here goes."

I sit up and hug my knees to my chest before starting the short version of my wolf story.

"Back in France, when I was about nine, I was outside playing in a tree house and In the snow with my best friend, Mark. We were walking home when it started. We had just walked by the beginning of the forest, which we had to go around to get back home, when we heard growls."

"We looked back and see a whole pack of wolves chasing us. At this point, Mark grabbed my arm and started pulling me along behind him and we're running."

I pause, Ash is listening intently.

"So we make it past the worst of the woods, but we're still not close to being safe. He was one year older, stronger and faster, so I was lagging behind him. I was caught and one of them bit into my leg, hurting it pretty bad. He helped me up and we ran again. It was painfully obvious that I was slowing us down, so I sent him off without me. He was reluctant, but eventually I got him to run for help."

"I hid in some bushes, but they found me. One of them dragged me out and basically mauled me while the others watched. The pups were even still. Just about when I thought I was going to die, something came out of the woods and attacked the wolves, scaring them off. It was a vampire, the one who changed me. He bit me, I healed, and when I woke up, I was home. And a vampire. My whole family were afraid of me, but they got over it when they changed later on."

"Mark's parents came over the next day to tell me that he never made it home. I never saw Mark again. I don't know if he was attacked and died, or if he made it to safety and just didn't come back......"

I trail off and we lapse into silence. I look over at Ash and he has a strange look on his face, a kind of sympathy mixed with grief and anger all at once. I'm confused by this. Finally, he speaks,

"Jade, I don't know what to say. That's terrible for someone to go through, and to lose your best friend, I cant even imagine. It must have been horrible."

I nod, "It was, I stayed in my room most of the time, not seeing anyone or coming out to even eat. I stayed in there for at least a month before I guess I just realized I was wasting my time hoping he was alright and would come back soon."

We both go silent again and I can feel tears burning my eyes, threatening to spill over onto my cheeks. Ash has that weird look on his face again as be stares off into nowhere in particular.

I stand up and he snaps out of it, I turn before he can see the first tear slide down my face. I quickly wipe It away and pick up my towel, starting to walk away. Unfortunately, he gets up and starts to follow.

He's nice and all, but one, I just met him, and two, I never let anyone see me cry, and even though most girls would be overjoyed to have a hot guy follow them home, I just really want to be alone right now. Its been along time since I've told anyone about that, and it still hurts every day.

I finger my silver heart shaped locket around my neck, moving it back and forth. Ash breaks the silence, asking,

"Family heirloom?"

"No."

"Oh, uh okay."

And we lapse into silence again. I realize that he was trying to break the awkward silence as we walked and that I was being rude. I groan inwardly, I hate having to be nice sometimes.

I know that being nice is a good thing, but plastering on a fake smile all the time is exhausting. Then when I don't, everyones like "What's wrong? Are you okay?" And all I want to do is say "Don't act like you really care." But once again, that's considered rude I guess, not in my book.

I wish I could say that I was fine, or happy, but honestly, I don't really feel anything inside. I don't know what it feels like to be happy, or excited, or sad, I've truly never felt anything in a long time. I don't know why, and no one understands so I gave up a while ago trying to explain to someone whats going on inside. It feels like a storm that I can't escape.

So, once again, I plaster on the fake, saying,

"Sorry, I meant no, its not a family heirloom, my best friend bought it for me on my eighth birthday, and I've never once taken it off since."

"That's cool, and i'm guessing that would be Mark, and it suits you."

"You would be correct and thank you."

We arrive at my front door, I say goodnight and he walks away towards where ever he stays. I open my door and close it behind me.

I slide down the door onto the floor and the dam inside me shatters. Tears pour down my face, dripping onto my towel in my lap. A sob escapes my mouth and my whole body shakes. I don't cry a lot, so when I do, I usually end up crying about everything until i'm exhausted or there are no more tears left.

I cant do anything but sit there and wait out the storm that's raging. When its finally over, I weakly get up and put on a random big shirt to sleep in. I barely make it to my bed before my knees give out and I crawl under the blanket. I quickly drift off into a soft, dark, dreamless sleep.