Blue Roses

Chapter thirty one

Chapter song~ lost in paradise by Evanescence

After a few minutes, I decide that I need to pull myself together and talk to Mark myself. I stand and point to the door,

"Out, I need to freshen up, I'm going to find Mark myself."

He gets up off the floor a slight worried look on his face,

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

I let out a shaky breath,

"No, not really but it needs to be done."

He doesn't argue, which I'm thankful for but at the same time disappointed. I shut the door behind him as he walks out and I turn on the shower full blast heat grabbing a towel from the rack in the corner.

After showering, I get out and run my fingers through my already curling hair. I grab another towel and use it to wring out as much water from it as I can before throwing it in a bun. I unlock and open the door peeking out to make sure Ash wasnt in the room before stepping out and grabbing my clothes from yesterday and getting dressed quickly.

Once Im ready, I interrogate Ash about where he found Mark so I at least know where to start looking.

"Where exactly did you find him? I need to know."

"Um, I started where he attacked us then I followed the scent trail to a camp site, then I could hear him, we talked about a mile east of the waterfall. Jade, are you sure this is a good idea? If your dead set on going at least let me come with you."

I shake my head,

"No Ash, I know your concerned but I have to do this by myself, I need to know what happened."

"But I just dont want you to get hurt, whatever he tells you whether its a lie or the true isn't going to make a difference Jade, it won't make you human again, you cant change the past!"

I reel back as if he had hit me, and it almost feels like he did. Eventually I say,

"I know that I can't change the past, and I know that I can't be human again but whatever he says will make a difference because I... I just need to know the truth. For almost the past nine years now I've been thinking that my best friend was dead, killed by those fucking big ass dogs and now he tries to kill me, you dont know how I feel so just stop trying to shield me from the him, please...."

The entire time my voice gets louder and louder but by the end its almost a whisper. I can see the guilty and startled look on his face, I feel bad for what I said but I can't take it back or help how I feel. For some reason it looks like some part of what I said hurt him deeper than he's letting onto and I get the feeling he isn't telling me something.

"I'm sorry, that was rude of me to say, I'm just, overwhelmed right now, but why do I get the feeling your not telling me something? And dont you dare say nothing because I can tell when your lying."

He takes a few seconds to think before talking.

"Well, if you really want to know, those fucking big ass dogs that attacked you.... I know who they are."

I stare wide eyed at him. It takes me a few tries to say something.

"How... how long have you known? Why the hell didn't you tell me or say something?"

My voice comes out hoarse and he flinches and looks anywhere but at me.

"Because I only found out this morning when Mark told me."

"Who was it? Tell me now, who destroyed my life because I'd love to send them a thank you card."

I say this in a sarcastic tone because I'm actually trying not to cry anymore and rebuild up my defenses. I can see the pained look written all over his face and I can tell that whoever it was isn't good.

"It was.... my pack.... My father and grandfather attacked you and the rest of us watched. Me and my sister were just cubs, we didn't know what was happening. But then the vampire came and killed about half of us, then turned you so we left.... Jade, I don't really know what to say to you besides that I'm so, so very sorry. No one In the world feels as guilty as I do right now, and I can understand if you feel complete hatred for me and if you never wanted to see me again, but just know that as long as you hate me I can never live with myself, I feel like I've been torn apart inside. If you give me a chance one day I could make it up to you, but by the look on your face you probably wouldn't care if I died right now."

My chest is heaving and my eyes burn with unshed tears. This can't be happening, it can't be true. I must be still dreaming, wake up Jade wake up. I know I'm really not asleep but I really wish I were because this changes everything. I dont know how to react to this, I just want to get away from everything. I think back to what my mom said to me before I left to get on the plane, she told me not to make any friends with the wolves, and now I know why. All they do is destroy and ruin everything, take what they want not caring about anyone else. This is what happens when you break the most important rule, you get hurt.

"I... I have to get out of here, I need to think."

I turn and run down the stairs to the front door and I can hear Ash chasing me yelling my name and for me to wait, let him explain, but I dont want to hear any more of his bullshit.

I get out the door and I take off as fast as I can go, not caring if there were any humans around because they couldn't see me anyways. When I get to the grove where Mark attacked us, I collapse and try to steady myself. In the distance, I hear a wolf howl painfully, I let out the scream I've been holding back almost as a reply and I break down unable to hold it in anymore.

There's always a certain silent peace after a storm, where you just kind of take it all in, where your numb but can't do anything about it. That's how I feel, numb everywhere and I couldn't do anything about it. Everything I had believed in over the last 8 years turned out to be a lie, what was I supposed to do?

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Okay, first off I want to thank all my readers for helping me reach 1k! I didn't think my writing was all that good but you guys proved me very wrong! Anyways, wow, crazy last few chapters right? Sorry this one was short. Well, I hope you all like them and keep reading because some seriously crazy stuff is gonna go down here soon, even more than usual.

I've had some rough times just like everyone, but the difference between me and the rest of the world is that I have some of the greatest friends to get me through the ups and downs, so i just wanted to make sure that you all, you know who you are, know that you guys are the best friends I've ever had and I appreciate how much your all there for me when I need you.

On that note, keep reading and make sure you comment, like and share! Thanks again everyone!