Don't Know How to Feel.

28. This Conversation Had to Happen Eventually, Here We Are

Wilbur woke up in fresh clothes and in a fresh mood. 

Last night meant change, it meant things were fixed. So when he walked out to the kitchen he was more than ok with making breakfast, unlike he normally did. He even made a plate for Tommy, just in case he popped up.

About two hours later, when the food was cold and Wilbur was reading on the couch, Tommy did show up.

"Hey Wil," Tommy greeted with a small wave. "I kept Shroud great company."

"Hello Toms," Wilbur said with a smile that earned a suspicious glance from Tommy, even if it only lasted for a second.

"So you're going to tell me the truth, right?" Tommy questioned, a serious look on his face. But also doubt. Tommy doubted Wilbur. He doubted Wilbur's capability of telling the truth. 

Wilbur nodded, deciding to ignore the obvious uncertainty in Tommy's expression.  So Tommy joined him on the couch, focusing on his hands that he fidgeted with a random pebble, probably from the lake that separates Las Nevadas and their land.

Wilbur placed his book down, turning to Tommy. They both sat on the couch, both thinking of how to start the awaited conversation. Tommy did seem quite worried about Wilbur and now that Wilbur was finally willing to talk, he almost felt unprepared.

"So," Wilbur began, "What do you need to know to... make you feel better?"

Tommy let out a chuckle at Wilbur, he seemed just as unready as Tommy. Neither of them knew exactly what to say, but they would try. So Tommy let out a sigh and relaxed on the couch.

"First off, I want to know what happened to you when I had to wake you up," Tommy said. "The day we went to Foolish's summer house."

'Oh that,' Wilbur remembered, it was when he and Fundy talked. It was when he figured out just how Fundy felt about their 'father-son relationship'. Truth is he hasn't talked to Fundy since that night, he hopes he does eventually. Wilbur was dramatic enough that he let himself cry, sitting there in the rain when the whole talk could've ended worse. He didn't lose Fundy, yet he acted like he did. Which made Tommy worry. Worry to the point that they now had to sit and talk about it.

Wilbur's realizing how unfair this seems to Tommy. He's out here being concerned and stressing about Wilbur. All because he was a bit too dramatic, or a bit too stubborn, most likely both, to talk to Tommy. It was definitely unfair, Tommy was one of the only people to still be here for him. So it was most certainly time to stop keeping everything from Tommy.

"I talked with Fundy."

What Tommy was expecting Wilbur to say wasn't about his son, and Wilbur could tell by the face Tommy made. 'Technically it's not about my son, not anymore.'

"You just talked? You cried Wil," Tommy once again pointed out what Wilbur tried to forget. But it was only fair, 'Unfortunately.' 

"I did," Wilbur hated to admit it. "Is it selfish of me? Maybe. I- Fundy said he was alright with being friends, meaning I could still be around him, be part of his life. Just not family. Which I guess was what I was hoping for."

It was silent for a moment and Wilbur had to stop the night from playing in his head again. Thankfully Tommy said something to stop it, "I don't think it was selfish of you."

"That's kind of you Tommy but-" Wilbur was cut off as Tommy continued.  "None of that Wil. It wasn't selfish. People can cry ya know."

Silence, again. A usual thing in Wilbur's talks- the more serious and important ones.

"I know," he said, looking down at the floor. Yup, the floor. Maybe he was embarrassed. 'It's Tommy, I don't need to be embarrassed. I just need to talk with him- truthfully.'