Don't Know How to Feel.

37. This Again

Quackity was starting to question how it seemed more and more of his evenings were being spent at the Ranvan. More specifically, with Wilbur Soot. It had been a while since they shared their afternoon over ice cream, about two whole months. Since then Quackity has found the majority of his afternoons waiting for the business to close, then he would head over to Wilbur and the two would spend some time together. It was some sort of unspoken thing that the two could expect from each other; Wilbur would be waiting for Quackity at the van and Quackity would show up. So here the two were, joined by Ranboo in the van.

"Many experts actually suggest... eating other people. They said it was very 'tasty and beneficial."

The trio in the van tried to hold back laughs at their stupid game. Wilbur eyed Quackity, warning him to not laugh. They don't know how, but the three of them ended up doing some sort of 'you laugh you lose' challenge. Right now it was Wilbur vs Quackity, the first one to laugh, losses. So Ranboo had to make them laugh and he had decided on pretending to be some sort of reporter, giving you the latest on what you should do to keep a healthy body.

"Not funny," Wilbur mumbled, glancing to the side. Quackity straightened his posture, fixing his face to a deadpan expression as he nodded in agreement, "Heard that one before."

Wilbur bit his cheek, forcing back a smile as he turned to face Quackity, "You've heard that before? Experts telling you to eat others yea?" Quackity didn't say anything, only nodding again.

"Well if the experts do it you should too," Ranboo continued. "Now, here's why-"

"I don't want to hear why," Wilbur groaned, letting out a breath as he adjusted his position on the counter. Ranboo sent a glare to him before once again continuing, "Now here's why you should be a cannibal-"

"I've eaten a human heart."

Ranboo paused, eyebrow raised as he turned to Quackity with a curious look. Wilbur however, sharply turned to face him, a shocked frown on his face.

"What the fuck?"

"Well I did," Quackity said nonchalantly, even looking at his nails for the act. "It was Schlatt's."

"Oh- oh." Ranboo paused, a somewhat concerned smile on his face. "Then I guess you already know the positive effects of eating another person."

"Sure." Quackity shrugged. "Pretty sure other hearts would taste better than his though."

"Can we move on?" Wilbur asked, eyeing the two for an answer to his desperate request. Quackity gave a smug smile, leaning to Wilbur, "What? Ya not a fan of cannibalism, Wilbur?"

"No, I'm not." Wilbur crossed his arms. "I'd rather eat sand."

"Yea, because you fucking have," Quackity said, rolling his eyes. Ranboo snorted at that, mumbling a "Sandbur" as the two argued. He cut the argument short, leaning onto the wall.

"Wow, yall can bicker but you can't laugh at my jokes. That was a well-planned bit, right?"

"I mean, yea." Wilbur raised a shoulder as he smiled. "It was."

"Good because I wouldn't have taken any criticism."

Wilbur put on a fake frown, immediately trying to stop the laugh that was threatening to burst out of his lungs. Quackity smirked at him when he noticed he was on the verge of laughing.

"Not from a man who eats sand-"

Ranboo was cut off as Quackity let out a chuckle, pausing as he realised what he did. He groaned, dragging a hand over his face in defeat, "I didn't mean that."

"I'm the king now, idiot." Wilbur mockingly grinned at Quackity, patting his shoulder- to which Quackity leaned back from Wilbur, a grossed-out expression on his face.